


For You I Will

by paladin_danse



Category: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Alpha!Erik, Alpha!Logan, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Child/parent abuse, Drunken Kissing, High School, Hospital Visit, Hurt/Comfort, I Blame Tumblr, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Knotting, M/M, Omega!Charles, Omegaverse, Referenced Suicide Attempt, WARNING: THEY GROW UP, avengers cameos - Freeform, charles is kind of a bitch sometimes, hangovers, high school beginnings, lots and lots of drama, time jump?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:15:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 51,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paladin_danse/pseuds/paladin_danse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Omega!Charles is more interested in working toward his career than finding a mate. He's never even been on a date, let alone kissed. Raven has tried to set him up with a few of her alpha friends but it's been all for nothing. Erik Lehnsherr is a mysterious loner alpha that has just transferred to the school and after an eventful first day, Charles is able to crack his stoic shell. Will Erik become his mate for life or the undoing of his future?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mercy Me

**Author's Note:**

> I blame tumblr for this. I ran across way too many Cherik AU prompts here and there to ignore this idea brewing in my mind. I know most omegaverse is solely about the smut but this is more than likely going to end up with more plot than usual. Sorry! But I hope you love it as much as I do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles meets the new alpha at school in an unexpected way.

In the heart of Genosha High School, the lunchroom was abuzz with conversation between the students. There was a mixture of alphas, betas and omegas scattered about here and there discussing weekend plans and how they were grateful it was Friday as they ate their lunches together. At a table in the back where there sat two omegas and an alpha, the conversation topic was that of classes—specifically ABO Biology.

“Charles, I just don't understand the significance.” Hank's voice was gentle as he shook his head, nimble fingers pushing glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I think we all know how our general biology works. Personally, I think it's a waste of a class; that's all I'm saying.”

“It's meant to help students develop a deeper understanding of different biological processes of the human body and how they apply to our life cycles.” The omega reached up to run his fingers through wavy brunette locks. "The class isn't all about how to attract a mate, unlike those ridiculous 'health' classes, if you can even call them that."

“Is that nerd babbling about that biology crap again?” Although Raven was already at the table, the scent of alpha became much stronger as Logan approached, and Charles felt himself nearly swooning from it. The male's tray was set on the table and he began to remove his leather jacket with a fork between his teeth. “We took that class in freshman year, kiddo.”

Charles didn't let his weakness show as he fought his natural instincts. He knew he was only reacting this way because Logan was an unmated alpha and he an unmated omega. Besides, Charles felt strongly about Logan but only as a dear friend. “This _nerd_ is babbling about _ABO_ Biology, which is much different and more advanced than a simple 9th grade biology class,” he replied in a cocky tone as he flipped the textbook shut, finger pointing in Logan's direction. “And as I recall, you failed that class.”

Logan shook his head as he skewered a piece of chicken and took a bite, avoiding eye contact. “Nerd stuff. That's all it is.”

“Well, why don't we talk about something else?” Raven piped up as she brushed away blonde strands of hair from her forehead, and Charles knew exactly where she was going to take the conversation. “Something interesting. You know, like Charles' love life.”

The Englishman gave a small scoff of a laugh as his eyes rolled, arms folding across his chest. “You mean my absence of one? Oi, not this again. What _is_ it about my lack of an alpha that you find so fascinating?”

“Look, you're going to have to eventually find _somebody_ , Charles.” Raven took a bite of her chicken. “Before you know it you're going to be a 30-year-old omega, shit out of luck with no alpha if you don't find a mate before high school ends. Most people meet their mates before the end of Sophomore year. Charles, you're a Senior already.”

“Is that _all_ they teach you in those health classes?” Charles quipped sarcastically, sliding his textbook into the messenger bag now on his lap. Charles longed to turn the conversation off of him and ask why they never talked about Logan's love life but what had happened to Jean was still fresh in everyone's minds, and it would be an uncomfortable topic of discussion for them all.

“Not funny,” she replied, pointing at him with a chicken strip. “Seriously, though, there's this new alpha that just moved into town. He's a senior. Very spooky and mysterious—right up your alley, Charles. You should invite him to sit with us. He's always by himself over there.”

“Right. Well...” Charles stood from the table and draped his messenger bag over his shoulder. “While you plan my future romances, I'll be earning my degree. Two birds—” He held up two fingers as he walked backwards, and then lowered his index finger to flip her off playfully. “—One stone.”

Raven laughed and threw her roll at him, which he dodged.

“I think that's my cue,” Hank cut in. He grabbed the backpack from behind him and leaned down to give Raven a kiss.

“I love you, my little beastie,” she whispered with a sweet smile.

“Love you too.”

In truth, Charles had noticed the peculiar boy Raven was talking about who sat by himself at the far end of the lunchroom. Erik was his name. Erik Lehnsherr. The only reason Charles knew his name was because they shared the next class together. It's not as if he'd already gone hunting for that information. (Who was he kidding? Of course he had.) The alpha had been at school a week already, and not once had Charles seen him eat lunch. Instead, he sat at the table with pencil in hand, drawing or writing or whatever it was that he did. At first he assumed it was because lunch was a meal he preferred to skip, but Charles had seen the way his eyes would glance longingly at the meals of others around him. He knew hunger when he saw it.

“Just a moment,” he mumbled to Hank. “Wait here.” His friend leaned against a pillar to wait as Charles approached the lunch line. “Can I get a chicken strip meal, please? Yes, just the strips. No, wait—Can I have an apple also?” After purchasing the food and snagging a milk, he wandered over near the empty table the strange boy sat at by himself and slid the small tray of food across the surface towards him. Erik lifted his eyes from the notebook he had been scribbling away in to meet with Charles' own cerulean hues, curious and confused. His gaze was cold and calculating. “Eat up. You'll focus better.” As he stepped away, Charles took a bite out of his apple with a warm, friendly smile.

Hank joined him once more as they headed down the hallway together, glancing over at Charles with a peculiar look. “What was that?”

“That was nothing,” Charles replied, taking a bite of his apple. “Don't you tell Raven or I swear...” He grabbed his friend by the head playfully and gave him a noogie.

“Alright, alright!” Hank called, freeing himself from the hold. His fingers fussed over his hair in an attempt to fix it. “I won't say anything.”

The first bell rang as they stepped through the doorway, Charles dropping what remained of the apple in the garbage can. Most of the students were already in the classroom, presumably having spent detention there. Charles assumed this only because Azazel was already there, and it would take a miracle to get that boy to class early. That, or detention.

“What're you looking at, _nerd_?” he snapped at Charles.

Brow furled as he looked at Azazel, and his mind came to the conclusion that he'd definitely been in detention because of the sour mood he was in. Usually the two of them had little to no interaction, but it seemed that the alpha's ego had been bruised and he was looking to pick a fight with just about anyone to prove his dominance. “I would tell you what I'm looking at but I'm not sure you'd be able to comprehend the terms I'd use,” Charles replied in a dry tone. He was letting his emotions get the better of him, something that he didn't like to let happen.

“Something you wanna say to me, loser?” Azazel rose from his desk, eyes boring into him.

“I'm not looking for a fight, Azazel,” Charles replied in a mutter, settling into his desk.

“What's that, rich boy? Didn't your _mummy_ ever teach you not to mumble?”

Hank's eyes widened as he sat up straight, looking back and forth between his friend and the young man provoking him. Before much else could be said or done, Charles was up and out of his seat to sucker punch Azazel. A loud crash erupted as he stumbled back into a few desks clumsily. The classroom fell silent, and Mr. Bishop shot up from his chair. “Charles!” he called out in shock.

His breath had quickened, heart hammering against his chest as the rage welled up within Charles. Upon getting to his feet, Azazel tackled him, and they both slammed into one of the many desks. Screams were heard as people scattered out of the way to watch them tumble to the floor as the second bell began to ring.

“Boys, please!”

He had to admit he'd never been in a fight before, and Charles was rather disappointed with his own performance. Azazel managed to gain the upper hand and pinned Charles to the ground, fists connecting with a bruising sensation to his face. In his scrambled state of mind, he could think of nothing else but to slam his knuckles into Azazel's groin who let out a strange wheezing groan, crumpling forward. Head lifted with force to smash right into the alpha's, but immediately he knew it had been a mistake on his part. Even though Azazel was now beside him on the floor and he'd succeeded in pushing him aside, Charles' vision went white momentarily and he became lightheaded as the pain throbbed in his forehead. Getting to his feet proved difficult, and Azazel was heading for him again, fist pulled back to connect a powerful punch to his jaw that sent him flying towards the classroom door. The taste of blood flooded his mouth, and suddenly Charles was beginning to think it may not have been such a clever idea to respond to Azazel in an aggressive manner.

Instead of landing hard against the ground or a desk or wall, he slammed right into some poor soul who'd presumably been late for class. Surprisingly, whoever it was that Charles had tumbled into was able to keep from falling over and instead caught and steadied him. Their gentle hands moved him out of the way, and Charles turned just in time to watch as Erik Lehnsherr entered the classroom with fists flying, a loud snarl erupting from his throat as he punched Azazel several times in the abdomen. Azazel was able to get one solid hit on Erik at his eye, but with one good swing of Erik's right hook, he was finally down for the count and collapsed onto the ground.

Silence fell over the classroom, all but for Erik and Charles' heavy breathing. Charles was staring at him, staring in disbelief of what had just happened. Somewhere deep within him was a sense to submit to the one that had come to his rescue, to fawn over him and thank him endlessly, but Charles remained where he was and pushed away the ridiculous notion in frustration of his nature. Students late on their way to class had gathered in the doorway to watch the fight, whispering in astonishment as they gazed on. Others had recorded everything on their cell phones and were probably uploading the videos to Facebook or YouTube by now, and the teacher was already on the phone with the office. With blood dripping from his split eyebrow, Erik turned back to Charles, who watched in awe as he came incredibly close to bend over and pick up his backpack. Charles was incredibly aroused as he watched Erik wipe the blood from his brow with the back of his hand, nose filling with the strong, foreign alpha scent. Mr. Bishop slammed the phone onto the receiver and then proceeded to point directly at Charles and Erik. “You two, with me. Now.” He bent over to pull Azazel upwards, helping him walk hazily out the door as he barked to the other students hovering outside, “There's nothing to see here! Go to your classes.”

Nobody spoke a word (unless Azazel's groans of pain counted), which didn't help the looming guilt that weighed heavily in Charles' gut. Cradling his swelling jaw, he mulled over what had just happened and became rather embarrassed by his actions. He'd had such pride in being able to control himself and his feelings, but when Azazel mentioned his mother... Charles didn't even want to think about it. Eyes flickered up to Erik who walked beside him, rigid and calm with a rather unfriendly demeanor. He didn't seem to be in the mood to talk.

The two followed Mr. Bishop to the office, where he took Azazel to the nurse's station and was able to get a cold pack for Charles' fat lip. The two sat quietly in a row of chairs inside the office, waiting for the principal to emerge and call them in. Erik's right leg bounced nervously as he gazed off. He seemed lost in his own mind as his fingers toyed with the strap of his backpack, chewing at his lip. Charles gave a small laugh in an attempt to ease the tension as he pressed the ice pack to his lip. “Thanks for stepping in... He'd have handed me my own arse if you hadn't been there.”

Erik said nothing and only gave a sideways glance to him momentarily. Charles wasn't sure if he hadn't heard him or if he was purposefully ignoring him. By his body language, it would appear to be the latter. Either way, he didn't repeat himself and instead leaned back further into his own chair to look about the office. Secretaries at the front desk were milling about filing paperwork and taking phone calls.

The door to the principal's office opened with a squeak and he invited the two of them in. The furniture inside—desk, bookshelf, end table—were all very lavish pieces stained a beautiful chestnut color. A full-sized American flag stood behind him in a proud display of his country of origin. “So,” Principal Barton began as the two settled down in the seats provided. “Wanna tell me what's goin' on here?”

Erik made no move to reply. His eyes were cast downward in an empty gaze.

“We were just having a bit of fun,” Charles replied with a small shrug. “It was nothing serious.”

“Well, Mr. Xavier, I take fights in my school very serious. Now, at this point I'm sure you know we're going to have to contact your parents—” Out of the corner of his eye, Charles noticed Erik's fingers tighten on the strap of his backpack. “—or legal guardians, and you will spend two hours here in the library this Saturday for weekend detention.” Erik finally glanced up at the principal upon hearing his punishment, and then his icy gaze shifted towards Charles. Oh dear. Their first interaction and already the alpha didn't like him much. This wasn't how Charles had intended their initial meeting to go at all.


	2. Oh My Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday detention turns out better than expected.

Eyes that burned from lack of sleep glanced over to the alarm clock on his bedside table, and the red numbers glared back at him in their angry way, telling him that it was nearly 6 AM. Rubbing his eyes seemed to help soothe their ache as he rolled over to his other side with a heavy sigh, white comforter clutched to his chest. The dog lying across his feet gave a groan, tail wagging lazily as he stretched his legs and seemed to fall right back asleep with a huff. Charles gazed down at him in envy. He wanted to sleep so badly, but anxiousness was getting the better of him and had been all night. Yesterday was the first time he'd ever been in serious trouble. Principal Barton was sure to remind him of that and warned him of what would happen if the offense was repeated. _Suspension_.

Since he couldn't sleep, he may as well get up for the day. The comforter was flipped off of his small frame, and Charles rose from the bed with a yawn and a stretch. The yellow lab with a missing eye lept down to the floor and gave a long stretch, shaking his coat of fur to wake himself up. “Mornin', buddy.” Charles squatted before him to stroke his face lovingly while kissing the top of his head. “How's my Lucky puppy?”

A tangerine glow warmed the cream curtains draped over the windows and a pair of glass-lined doors along the wall. Charles stepped forward to open the doors and was greeted with the smell of the morning air. The rising sun blinded him momentarily, which caused him to blink several times before his eyes scanned across the yard of the manor, admiring the summer morning's beauty. Lucky dashed outside into the green grass that hummed little hymns to him to do his business while the morning breeze rustled through the leaves of the old oak trees lining the outside of the property. Charles inhaled the smell of flowers and gave a heavy sigh as he leaned against the doorway.

His eyes settled on the gravestones paired together that lay below one of the trees, the largest and oldest of them. A sadness swept over Charles. If he were to walk over there, he would be able to read the inscriptions of his parents' headstones. _Loving Father and Husband_ and _Loving Mother and Wife._ Indeed they had been loving, and right now, Charles missed that love terribly... but today was not a day he wanted to talk to them as he usually did when he was nervous or anxious. They would have been disappointed in him if they were alive now.

Charles whistled, and Lucky turned to face him with ears perked. “Come on, boy!” Charles waved his arm to the dog, and Lucky came running in excitement into the house with his tongue hanging out. Charles cracked the bedroom door open so that Lucky was free to wander the mansion while he showered. He turned with the intention to head into the bathroom but stopped a moment to admire a painting on the wall above his bed that caught his attention, one with bright blue and yellow colors. _Starry Night_ by Vincent Van Gogh had always been his father's favorite painting, and it was a gentle reminder of the many things his parents had always done for him and given him. Charles loved to look at it and remember the times he'd had with his mother and the many stories she told him of his father. A gentle smile graced his features for a moment. Snapping out of his trance, he stripped his clothes before he even made it to the bathroom and began readying himself for the day with a shower.

It didn't take long to get dressed, and afterward Charles made himself some toast and eggs (salt, no pepper—just as he liked it). As he was sitting down in the dining room to eat (of course not without Lucky begging at his side), his phone chirped from an incoming text.

_Picking you up in 10? HM_

Charles set down his fork to type a message back.

_If you wouldn't mind. Thank you, Hank. x_

Charles ate quickly and scraped the remains into Lucky's bowl, loaded the used dishes into the dishwasher and headed in the general direction of his bedroom. He was able to gather his things and put on a pair of shoes just before the white Blazer pulled up in front of the mansion. Lucky followed him with tail wagging, expecting to tag along. “No, Lucky. Sit.” He cracked door open as Lucky sat where he was, ears perked. “Stay. Good boy.” After heading outside, Charles closed the door behind him and made sure the door was locked with a turn of the handle before he headed down the steps to climb into the car. “Good morning,” Charles said as he fastened his seat belt.

“Morning!” Hank greeted. He smiled as he pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose and began the drive off the property. “Ready for detention?”

“Don't remind me...” Charles flipped down the sun visor and began fussing over his hair in the mirror.

“Getting ready for someone?” Hank teased as he glanced at Charles.

Charles shot him an embarrassed look and flipped the sun visor up. “No,” he lied quickly.

Hank gave a laugh. “I won't say anything.”

The two were quiet for the rest of the ride while the radio filled the silence between them in the chugging car. It took a few moments for Charles to pick it up, but there was a scent in the car that he wasn't familiar with. He wasn't about to pry as to what it was, so he sat silently while wondering to himself.

“I'll be back at 11 to get you,” Hank said as they pulled up to the curb in front of the school.

Charles hopped out of the car. “Thanks, dear friend. Let's hope I don't die of boredom, eh?” He closed the car door behind himself, waving to Hank as he squinted from the sunshine. Hank put the white Blazer into gear and drove off through the empty parking lot, leaving Charles alone at the entrance of the school. He gave a small sigh. This wasn't exactly how he wanted to spend his Saturday morning, but he headed towards the doors while adjusting the strap on his messenger bag.

The school was eerily quiet as Charles entered through the front doors. Even when he took a stroll to the bathroom during class on a weekday, it was never so silent. Only one of the hallways was illuminated, and they were all bare save for the principal hovering over Erik who sat on the bench by the entrance of the office. It was unnerving to say the least. “Ah, Charles, you've decided to grace us with your presence,” Principal Barton greeted as he checked his watch. “Two minutes late.”

“My apologies,” Charles quipped sarcastically as he approached the two of them. “Well. Shall we?” He gave Erik a friendly smile in hopes that he'd simply had a bad day the last time they encountered each other and that he might be in a better mood now.

Erik stood, towering over both Charles and Barton while the backpack in his hand was slung over his shoulder. His scent was sweet and intoxicating, washing over Charles who inhaled it subtly. Erik, the king of sideways glances, cast one in Charles' direction but never looked directly at him. He said nothing, cold and stoic as always as they followed Barton into the office.

They were led to what looked like a meeting room, and Barton gestured for them to enter. There was a long wooden table dark in color with 10 chairs to match, another table against the wall, and a few filing cabinets. Erik didn't hesitate to move forward and take a seat. “Quite a shiner you got there, Lehnsherr,” Barton taunted.

Erik didn't respond but Charles looked at him long and hard for a moment. He had to be mistaken... Charles was certain that Erik had been hit in his other eye by Azazel.

“I will be in my office. No funny business. I'll be checking on you at random intervals.”

Charles thought it odd that the third offender was nowhere to be seen and turned to catch Barton before he left them. “Ehmm... Where's Azazel?”

“He'll be serving his Saturday detention on a different day. I can't babysit all three of you at once.”

Neither of the boys replied and Barton returned to his office. Charles sat across from Erik and began working on studying for his upcoming Calculus test by retrieving his textbook and notepad. The pencil that twirled between his fingers was blue with yellow stars, favored because of its ability to call Van Gogh's _Starry Night_ to mind when he looked at it. The eraser of the mechanical pencil he'd had for nearly a year bounced on the page of his textbook as he read the passage on the Leibniz notation.

There was a long while of silence between them. In the background, Charles could hear a phone ring and Barton's muffled voice through his office door. The only sound in the room was that of the clock ticking on the wall. Charles glanced up as Erik began to dig around for something in his backpack, checking a few of the pockets. A notepad lay out in front of him but Charles could see no writing utensil and could only assume that was what he'd been searching for. “Here,” he offered, sliding the blue pencil with yellow stars across the table. It was Charles' favorite pencil... but he didn't mind giving it away to the alpha as a gift. Erik's eyes lifted and he gave a faint nod in wordless thanks while Charles dug out another plain black mechanical pencil from his messenger bag.

A few moments later as he was scribbling equations in his notebook, Charles heard something he did not expect.

“Thank you.”

His head raised, and a smile grew on the omega's face as his eyes met with Erik's. Was that an accent he'd heard? A fellow European? “Of course.”

“No, I mean, thank you... for the lunch you bought me.” He paused, as if trying to find the correct words as he fiddled with the pencil in his hands.

Charles' expression softened, although he tried to make sure that he did not appear sympathetic. Instead of prying, he tried to shift the conversation into a more positive light. “You should sit with us at lunch. You've been the talk of the school, and my friends are dying to get to know you.”

A smile hinted at his lips as Erik laughed ever so softly, and that little expression alone caused Charles' heart to flutter from his chest and down into his stomach. He knew he was starry-eyed and attempted to compose himself as he cleared his throat. “I didn't realize I was a topic of discussion,” Erik replied in what seemed to be a teasing tone.

Charles wrinkled his nose. “Only when we're not talking about nerd stuff.” The two of them laughed together, and Charles was pleased that he'd been able to get Erik to loosen up. “So... Erik, right? Where are you from?”

“Before here, we lived in New York but my mother and I came from a small village in Germany a few years ago.”

Eyebrows rose as he seemed taken aback. “You don't sound much like a German to me,” Charles teased.

Erik gave another laugh. “My father was Irish. My mother is German, but we moved to the U.S. when she wedded my...American step-father.” Briefly, he glanced away with an expression of distaste before he met the omega's eyes once more with a friendly gaze. “I suppose the accent is a mixture.”

“So I've noticed.” Charles laughed as he fidgeted with his pencil, glancing upwards at Erik from beneath his eyelashes.

The conversation turned to Charles, and he explained that his father's career is what brought them to America. After he passed away, they simply never returned to England. His mother remarried but they were divorced shortly after. From there, they spoke about their childhoods, about what it was like growing up in different countries and what a culture shock America had been. They hadn't realized how long they'd chatted for until Barton gave a knock on the door while leaning into the room and distracted the two giggling boys. “Alright, kids. Time to go home. Get outta here.”

Charles' heart sank as he turned back to collect his things. He'd hoped they would be able to spend more time together, but the smile returned to his face when he met eyes with Erik once more. They exited the room with Charles in front of Erik who turned to glance over his shoulder. “Where are you headed?” he asked as they left the office together. Barton stayed behind to turn off lights and lock up while the two of them headed on outside. Raven was sitting in the driver's seat of the Blazer now, engine running as she played on her phone.

“Home,” Erik replied, squinting as he shielded his eyes from the sun. The two of them stopped on the cement walkway to face each other. “I have some responsibilities to take care of.”

“Would you like a ride? I'm sure Raven wouldn't mind at all, really .” He gave a glance to the car to see the girl beaming at them excitedly with a grin, giving Charles a thumbs up.

Shaking his head, Erik flashed a smile. “No, that's alright. Someone is—” As he spoke, a sleek-looking gray Acura pulled into the parking lot beside them. “—Coming for me.” Charles turned to see that Erik had stiffened. His jaw was clenched, expression grim.

Charles gave a nod of understanding. “Will I see you Monday?” he asked, eyes pleading as he looked up at Erik.

“Of course,” he replied.

The passenger window rolled down, and a man with sunglasses leaned over to smile at the two of them. “Making friends, Erik?” he asked with a friendly smile. When Erik didn't respond, he turned his attention to Charles. “Hi there, son. Sebastian Shaw. I see you've met my step-son. What's your name?” the stranger asked.

“Charles,” he replied, smiling faintly. Something didn't sit right with him about this man. “Charles Xavier.”

“Good to see my kiddo here is already making friends. Just try to keep him out of trouble next time, alright?” He flashed a smile.

Returning the smile, Charles laughed softly. “Of course.” He turned back to Erik, and the two looked at each other a moment before Erik glanced down and stepped back a bit. Charles became flustered when he realized how close they had been standing. The two of them lingered in silence as if they weren't sure how to say goodbye. It was Erik who broke the silence as he began to turn away. “I'll see you at lunch?” He gave a small wave and climbed into the car.

Charles wandered towards the parked Blazer and climbed in. His heart was still fluttering as he buckled his seat belt, letting a sharp exhale as he looked at the car before them. “Who was that?” Raven asked while lowering her sunglasses as she watched the vehicle leave the parking lot.

“I think that was Erik's step-dad. Where's Hank?”

“He started his heat after he dropped you off. Couldn't have my little omega running around in that state.” She replaced the sunglasses on her face.

 _So that's what the smell was in the car this morning_ , Charles thought.

Raven put the car into gear and pulled out of the parking space. “Damnit, Charles! You were so close. Why didn't you kiss him?”

Charles rolled his eyes as he laughed softly. “It was detention, Raven; not a date.”

 


	3. Close To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to the movies with Erik? It's a date! ... Or is it?

The time Charles and Erik spent together in detention had proved fruitful for their friendship. It took a few days but he finally convinced Erik to sit with them at lunchtime, and over the next several weeks the two became nearly inseparable. Charles' friends all came to like him quite a bit—all but Logan, who only seemed to tolerate him. Erik was one of the gang in no time, sharing in their many jokes and times of laughter, and by then Charles and Erik had become lab partners in ABO Biology.

“Alright, everybody! If you'll all settle down, we can get class started.” Mr. Banner stood at the front of the class, hands clasped in front of himself as he leaned against his desk. “Today we'll be learning about the biology of bullfrogs and how it applies to us as human beings and our six sexes. Please grab your lab equipment and we can get started.”

The students all moved to don their crisp white lab coats and protective eye glasses. Many of the omegas and some betas “ew”-ed over the frog corpses on the counters. Everyone in the room all laughed and played with their lab equipment but Erik and Charles in the back of the room were probably the worst of them all. With vinyl gloves on his hands, Erik began to play with the frog's legs as he hummed a tune. Charles laughed uncontrollably, unable to fill out the form they were meant to write their research down on.

Erik picked up the dead frog underneath the armpits, inspecting it with feigned interest. “What should we call it?”

“Erik, please.” Charles was still laughing lightly, trying to compose himself. “We really should be working.”

“Oh, come on.” Erik turned to smirk at Charles. “You were thinking the same thing.”

Charles laughed as he glanced at his friend and then back to the frog. “Fred.”

“Fred the frog.” He jiggled the amphibian towards Charles, who backed away with a squeal while laughing.

“Erik, stop!” His hand shot out to defend himself and the next thing they knew, the corpse made a ridiculous _splat!_ against the floor. Charles was frozen with his hand outstretched as he stared down at the frog. Their eyes met quickly and for a moment they paused with surprised faces before they both burst into laughter. “What did you do!” he whispered loudly as he crouched down over it.

“Ehmm, excuse me? Mr. Banner?” The classroom fell silent as everyone turned to look at Erik. “Our frog seems to have suffered some--” His attention shifted momentarily as he paused to watch Charles scoop up the guts with the body and fling them onto the metal tray with a disgusted groan. “--trauma.”

Unsure of how to react, Banner (who had been at his desk looking over papers) glanced back and forth between them over the brim of his glasses until he sighed heavily. “There are more in the cooler in the storage room. Try not to mutilate the next one, alright?”

Erik fetched the little white specimen box as the other students continued with their dissections. Gently, he ripped open the plastic and lay the frog on the tray very gently as he muttered, “Let's not tell Fred, Jr. how his senior fared.” Charles snorted while trying to hold in his laughter, and the two of them both laughed hysterically once more.

Finally after beginning their work, Charles glanced over and noticed the pencil that Erik wrote with was very familiar. It was the blue mechanical pencil with yellow stars, which had since begun to fade with how much use it seemed Erik had put into it. _He still has it?_  Charles wasn't sure why but he'd assumed Erik would have gotten rid of it or lost it long ago. A warm feeling welled up in his chest as a tingling sensation lingered in his stomach, and Charles had trouble concentrating on filling out the diagram on the chart they were meant to complete.

The class drew to an end, and students began to clean up their work stations and returned the lab coats and glasses to Mr. Banner before the bell began to ring.

“I can't believe you dropped the frog!” Charles laughed as they exited the classroom together.

“He was a slippery bastard, and you're the one that slapped my hand. _You_ dropped Fred.”

“Don't put this on me. It wasn't my fault.” A student bumped Charles without even so much as a “sorry”, causing him to run into Erik accidentally. It was the first time Charles had really been close to him, and it gave him the opportunity to get a strong whiff of his alpha scent. It suddenly gave him an exhilarating rush as tingles ran down his spine, and the omega part of him longed to stay close to Erik because of the intimacy he felt. Instead, Charles muttered a small apology instead and coughed to cover up his embarrassment as he moved away. “Oh, I almost forgot. We're all going to see a movie tonight! I can't remember the name of it. Z-Men or something or other... I don't know, Raven picked it out. You should come with us.”

“Tonight's not a good night,” Erik replied, the smile dropping from his face as he looked away solemnly.

“Please, Erik, just this once,” Charles pleaded as he looked up at the alpha.

He didn't know for sure but over the course of their friendship, Charles had picked up subtle hints that Erik was physically abused in his home. He knew that bruise on his eye from Saturday detention was not put there by Azazel. He was sure now that he'd watched Azazel hit him on the other side of his face. And the way his fingers had curled when Barton said he'd have to contact parents and legal guardians... Charles wasn't sure if there was much he could do to help him without solid proof other than to get him out of the house for a while.

“I can't,” he replied, shaking his head as he began to turn the knob of the padlock on his locker. That somber look was still on his face, and it killed Charles.

He forced himself between the locker and Erik so that he was unable to open it. “ _I want you to be there._ ” He daydreamed momentarily that Erik would place a hand beside his head on the locker, hovering dangerously close to Charles with eyes locked on his lips and slowly lean in until they kissed. He felt butterflies in his stomach from the guilty thoughts that raced through his mind, gaze dropping to Erik's lips as he subconsciously licked his own.

“I just can't,” Erik repeated, snapping Charles back to reality with a friendly smile gracing his features.

“I'm not moving until you say yes.”

“Charles, I need my books or I'm going to be late.” His tone turned a bit more serious as he attempted to avoid the question, weight shifting.

Charles matched his tone, stubbornness ever apparent as he jutted his chin upward. “I'm not taking no for an answer. You have to come.”

Erik gave a frustrated huff. “Fine. I'll be there. What time does the movie start?”

A large smile spread across Charles' face, fueled by the excitement that coursed through him, and he couldn't help but throw his arms around Erik in a quick but firm hug. Erik seemed startled at first but returned the squeeze with a small chuckle. “6:30,” Charles said as he moved away from Erik quickly toward class. “We'll wait out front for you. Don't be late!”

 

\--

 

“He's not coming.” A puff of smoke slipped through Logan's lips as he ashed the cigarette and readjusted himself against the lamp post he leaned his weight against.

“He said he'd be here,” Charles insisted as his eyes scanned the downtown area, hands fidgeting in his pea coat pockets nervously... but despite his insistence that Erik would show, doubt was beginning to linger in his mind. The streets were littered with people who bustled along the clothing shops and restaurants, spending time with their families and friends as they shopped for the upcoming holiday, but Erik's face was nowhere to be seen. A light breeze swept through the city, bringing the first real chill of fall to Genosha. Silly decorations of pumpkins and black cats and witches and skulls all lined the windows of the many boutiques in promotion for their Halloween sales, and the orange and yellow leaves of the young trees were illuminated by the setting sun.

“I'm cold,” Angel seemed to announce as her gaze moved in Logan's direction.

The cigarette dropped from his fingers, and he ground out the embers with his boot. “Should've brought a thicker coat,” he answered, turning away in disinterest.

Charles shot him a look as he undid his own scarf. “Here. This should keep you warm,” he said as he fastened it loosely around her neck. “You should go inside if you're cold, dear. You don't have to wait.”

She gave a weak smile to Charles with a fleeting glance at Logan. “Thanks, Charles. I'll be okay.”

Raven and Hank approached from the ticket booth, bundled up in their coats as their boots crunched through some scattered amber-colored leaves. Hank shivered, moving in close to her side. “Hey guys,” Raven greeted with a smile as she handed out tickets between them with gloved hands. “No sign of Erik yet?” Logan turned to her with a skeptic look and shook his head. “Maybe he's a few minutes late?” Raven gave a shrug. “We can wait. Hey, did anyone bring the snacks?”

Angel beamed as she opened up her purse to allow a few candy bars to peek out. “Sure did.”

Logan seemed annoyed as he pushed off of the lamp post and tucked his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. “I'm going inside.”

“Me too. I'm freezing!” Angel was at his side to join him as they headed indoors, although Logan seemed fairly unhappy about being followed by her.

Raven sat on the stones surrounding the raised decorative flower bed out front of the theater and pulled Hank onto her lap. “Did he say he was going to be late?” Hank asked as he looked around the crowded area.

“No,” Charles replied with uncertainty. “I don't—” A loud sound of fright erupted from Charles as the world was suddenly spinning, and his feet lifted from the ground with arms around him. There was laughter all around him as he finally steadied, and he turned to be met with Erik's wide smile as he laughed. Charles pushed him as embarrassment flooded him. “You arse!” He fixed his coat and gave a huff. “It's about time you showed up.”

“Sorry,” Erik replied with a small laugh, straightening the russet leather jacket he wore over a black turtleneck that Charles thought fit him quite nicely. “I had something to take care of.”

“Nice to see you finally made it,” Raven said with a friendly smile as she and Hank stood up and huddle together in the cold.

“Logan and Angel headed inside already.” Hank gestured towards the door. “Come on, let's get going!”

The group headed toward the lobby and the warmth washed over them as they stepped inside, meeting up with Logan and Angel once more who stood waiting in front of the concession counters. Charles glanced up to notice the two alphas meet eyes and exchange a silent moment of enmity. “Are you thirsty?” Charles asked quickly in an attempt to distract Erik and ease the tension between them. Perhaps it was just an alpha thing, although he'd never seen Raven and Logan behave that way.

Erik's eyes lingered on Logan for a moment. “No.” His response was abrupt and short, but his expression softened as he glanced at the boards up ahead that displayed the prices in neon lights. “The prices here are outrageous.”

Charles gave a small nod with a nervous glance at Logan, whose attention had been drawn elsewhere. “Come on... We'll miss the previews.”

After giving their tickets to the ticket taker, they were directed to a nearby theater. The lights had been turned off already and movie trailers played on the large screen as they entered the darkened room. Charles drew closer to Erik and grabbed at his sleeve to have a sense of where he was in the dark so as not to trip over his feet, but warm fingers wrapped around his cold hand firmly to lead him through the dark only barely illuminated by the large screen. After a few seconds of whispering, they decided to sit in the middle section, and after they took their seats, Erik let go of his hand.

The film began as they all got settled in their seats and passed out treats, but the darkness in the theater was beginning to affect Charles. He let out a yawn as he shifted, and he leaned his head against the seat as the scene opened with a group of people bustling in the rain and the mud. He watched in interest as it seemed a young boy was torn away from his mother by Nazis and began to bend a metal gate with his mind. His eyes fell closed as he listened to the effects of the movie—rain and the sound of metal bending and screaming. But slowly, the sounds became distant and then began to fade into silence...

 

\--

 

The first thing he remembered hearing was giggling, followed by whispering and shushing.

“Is he really asleep?” That familiar voice belonged to Hank.

“Did he snooze through the whole movie?” Angel sounded almost amazed.

Charles' eyes cracked open to reveal the faces of his friends standing around him. Quickly, he lifted his head and wiped at the drool at the corner of his mouth, turning to see that he'd been lying on Erik's shoulder.

“Tired?” Erik teased with a quiet smile.

Charles blushed as he laughed at himself. “I'm so sorry...”

“Come on, guys,” Raven said as she tugged at his sleeve. “Let's go. It's already dark outside.”

Nodding, Charles yawned while stretching his arms and legs. “I think I'll need to go to bed early tonight,” he mumbled as he rose from his chair and followed his friends out of the theater.

Raven, Hank and Angel chatted excitedly about the movie as they walked through the doors and out into the biting cold of the night. Logan made a comment of the movie being _alright_. Charles bundled up into his coat and slid his hands into his pockets to keep them warm. “I hope you don't mind me using you as a pillow,” he said with an embarrassed smile as he turned to Erik.

Erik followed suit and tucked his hands into his jean pockets as they walked along together. “It's alright. I understand you were tired.” He showed no sign of being cold as they braved the wind together, but Charles couldn't help shuddering as his teeth chattered. Erik laughed as he slid an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in close.

“Everyone ready to go?” Hank asked as he turned to look back at everyone with keys dangling from his hands.

“I'm freezing!” Raven announced as her teeth chattered, and she hurried towards the car.

Logan glanced backwards at Erik and Charles, and his eyes rolled in annoyance. “Let's get going,” he muttered as he walked with a brisk pace.

Erik's arm dropped away as he hung back from the rest of them and stopped where he'd met them before the film. “I'll see you tomorrow then.”

The smile faded from Charles' features as he turned to look at Erik. “Do you expect me to let you walk home in this cold? Come on, we'll give you a ride.”

“No, really... it's not necessary.” Erik's hand made a subconscious motion of rejection as he waved his fingers slightly. “I've walked home in worse.”

Charles grabbed his fingers, just as warm as he remembered them being, and pulled him along. “Stop being polite, you windbag, and _get in the car._ ” Erik didn't put up as much of a fight as Charles thought he would. Instead, he gave a weak laugh and willingly followed along.

Hank was already in the front seat and turning over the engine as they arrived. “There's only 5 seats, so you'll have to cram.”

“Unless one of you wants to ride on top,” Raven teased as she hopped into the passenger seat. Logan said nothing as he slid in behind her, and Angel got in from the other side to slide into the middle.

“How do you want to do this?” Erik asked Charles with a sideways glance towards Logan.

“Just let him sit in your lap!” Raven called with a grin as she craned her neck to look at them from the passenger seat.

Charles shrugged as his gaze shifted to Erik's, who climbed into the car. Awkwardly, they managed to get situated with Charles sideways on his lap with his back against the window—legs across Angel and feet in Logan's lap. Logan draped his arm over Charles' ankles casually as Hank pulled out of the parking structure quickly.

In all his life, Charles had never been so close to an alpha before, and the smell Erik was giving off was drawing him even closer. He couldn't even put into words the description of it, but it was if it calmed him and excited him at the same time. It didn't help that Erik's arms were around him protectively to secure him in place were the ride to get bumpy. He felt so in place against Erik, close enough to feel his chest rise and fall with each breath.

“If we get pulled over, just throw Charles in the back,” Hank joked.

“We can pretend we didn't know he was there,” Angel added as they laughed.

“Hey, Erik,” Raven said as she turned to set a hand Charles' knee. “We're all going to a Halloween party on Saturday at Angel's house. Do you wanna come?”

Angel gasped and clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh my god, please come!”

Charles turned to meet Erik's eyes, a blush warming his cheeks as he realized how close they were. His gaze flickered to Erik's lips briefly as butterflies tickled his stomach but he turned away with a small, flustered laugh.

“As m'lady commands,” Erik teased, his arms tightening around Charles as they went over an unexpected speed bump.

“Sorry,” Hank apologized with a wave of his hand. “Erik, where are we going?”

“I live in the Heights,” he replied in a quiet voice.

“Hey, I live in the Heights too!” Angel chirped. “Did you walk all the way to the theater?!”

“That's a ritzy neighborhood,” Hank commented. “Almost as nice as Charles' place.”

After some direction from Erik, they came upon a rather exquisite-looking house. Out front was a mailbox with the last name “SHAW” labeled across the side. The front porch light was on, reflecting on the sleek gray Acura that Charles recognized from their morning at detention together. Briefly, his mind noted that it didn't make sense that Erik didn't eat lunch against his will if he lived in such a lavish house and wore such fine clothes, but he was distracted as Erik's voice sounded in his ear.

“That's it, the one with the silver car,” Erik said, and the Blazer pulled up to the curb in front of the house.

Charles shifted around clumsily until they were both able to stumble out of the car while laughing together. “Careful!” Angel teased.

Charles took his seat in the car once more and shut the door as he rolled down the window. “Call me if you need anything.”

There was a faint smile playing on his lips as Erik leaned onto the car. “I'll see you tomorrow?” There was something seductive about the way he was smiling in that moment... something that made Charles want to beg him to be taken with him. He felt ridiculous.

The front door of the house opened, and Erik turned to look as someone who seemed to be his mother came out onto the front porch. “Erik? _Bist du es_?” she called in a timid voice.

" _Gib mir nur einen Moment, Mutter._ " Charles audibly gasped as Erik replied to his mother. Hearing Erik speak German was much more arousing than he'd ever anticipated.

As Hank put the car into Drive, Charles lifted himself out of the window and planted a kiss on Erik's cheek while he was turned away. “See you tomorrow.” As he pulled away, he was able to glimpse Erik's surprised expression as the car began to move forward. Erik's lips widened into a smile as he gave a wave, shrinking into the distance while walking up the driveway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you that speak German, I'm sure you can tell that I don't. Eheh. Thanks, Google Translate.


	4. The Ladder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Charles discuss Erik (and Charles fangirls momentarily).

Clothes rustled in the walk-in closet as Charles lay on his bed, pencil on paper as he attempted to finish his homework. Lucky lay by his side, leaning against him as he napped away. “What are you wearing tonight?” Raven's voice was muffled as she moved about behind the door.

Absent-mindedly, Charles replied, “I'm not sure yet. Probably something simple.”

“Do you want me to pick something out for you while I'm in here? A suit or something?”

It took him a moment to finish writing before Charles responded. “Mn... I'm not really sure what I'm in the mood for just yet.”

Footsteps led Raven to the edge of the closet and she swung the door open, presenting herself in a form-fitting crimson cocktail dress. “What do you think? Devil?”

His gaze flickered upwards, and Charles smiled widely at her. “I think you look beautiful, but you know you look lovely in anything.”

Her eyes rolled. “Ugh, you're no help.” She closed the door as she headed back inside, and Charles felt Lucky jump beside him on the bed from the noise. “I need something to wear!”

“But you're _wearing_ something,” he teased, which elicited a frustrated groan from behind the door.

“I can't pick between the cat or the devil. Just—pick one!”

“I liked the red one but the black dress looks much better, in my opinion.” Charles closed both the textbook and notebook, and then he set them on the nightstand beside him as he stood up. “It's more of a simple costume. Doesn't take away from the beauty of your face but still gives a nice highlight of your body.” Charles rubbed his eyes that began to water as he stretched his entire body. Lucky's tail wagged, and Charles chuckled softly as he leaned down to stroke the dog's forehead affectionately. “And it matches your skin tone much better.”

“Aww, Charles,” she teased as the door opened to reveal the black dress with a belt tied around the waist that a tail hung from and a headband with cat ears on her head. “You flatter me.” Raven scooped up her hair as she approached him and pulled it forward over one of her shoulders. “Can you zip me up?”

He did as she asked and gave a pat to the back of her dress as she primped in the mirror on the back of the closet door. “You're beautiful. Stop fussing.”

As Charles made to move past her to the bedroom door with Lucky at his heels, she caught his wrist and stopped him. “Ah-ah-ah, it's your turn now. Come on, let's pick out something for you!”

Charles blushed as he gave a nervous chuckle. “No, I'm... I'm not wearing a costume.” The yellow lab sat at the bedroom door, looking up at Charles with eyes pleading to be let out.

“You can't just not wear a costume to a costume party, especially Angel's. She'd have a fit, and besides, I'm sure you want to impress your _alpha._ ”

His eyebrows raised, and pink tinged his cheeks as he felt his face grow hot. Charles moved away to let Lucky out of the bedroom (and also to avoid letting her see him blushing like the teenage omega he was) as the excuses came spewing out that he was sure she had expected. “He's not _my_ alpha; he's just _an_ alpha—and we're not even dating, Raven. We're just friends.”

Her eyes rolled as she smiled, fixing her hair in the mirror so it fell over her shoulders just right. “Charles, I think everyone knows he's yours, even if you're not bonded yet. You've been rubbing your scent all over him since the day you met him. You're not fooling anywhere here, including yourself.”

As he turned to face her, Charles opened his mouth to say something but no witty remark could be made. In truth, he had been trying to fool himself. Erik was a dream of an alpha. He was powerful, strong and athletic; he was nothing short of gorgeous; his eyes were so deep and wise; his smile made Charles melt at the sight; there was no doubt in Charles' mind that he would be a good father to any children (but that was the omega in him talking); and there was just something about his scent that Charles was helpless against. He wanted Erik. He wanted him badly, and Charles would give anything to have him as a mate. He daydreamed constantly about Erik, some things that shouldn't be daydreamed about; things that made Charles blush at the thought. But somehow, things just didn't seem to be moving along as he'd planned.

Erik had always been so friendly despite their nature, and that's all he ever was—friendly. The small touches here and there sent mixed signals, like when he had taken Charles' hand in the movie theater or his reaction to the kiss Charles planted on his cheek. Erik never made a move to become more intimate than that or show interest in him, and Charles couldn't tell if he was shy, if he just wasn't interested, or if Erik was extremely oblivious to his feelings despite how sharp he seemed to be otherwise. He was so unpredictable, and it nearly drove Charles mad.

Charles struggled with his words and how to put them together as he wandered back toward the bed. “I'm just not... sure how he feels.”

Raven turned away from the mirror to look at him, eyebrows furled. “What do you mean?”

He swallowed, nervous as he admitted, “He's never really told me or made any move to let me know he's attracted to me at all.”

Raven looked unconvinced. “Maybe it's just when you're not paying attention, but I've seen the way he looks at you, Charles.”

He gave a sigh as he fell backwards onto the bed dramatically. “I really do like him. I want him to be my mate, Raven.”

The bed creaked as she sat beside him and patted his knee as she gazed at the floor in thought. “I know, Charles... Maybe I'll have a talk with him tonight, see what's going on in that mysterious brain of his.”

His eyes couldn't decide where to settle as he sat up, just as his mind was racing within. “There's... something else,” he began with much difficulty.

Raven turned to look at him with nervous concern flooding her expression. “What? What is it?”

Charles fumbled with his words. It wasn't really his business, and he felt wrong going about speculating things that he didn't know were true or not, but Raven was his best friend and one of the only people he could confide it and trust. “I think his father is hurting him.”

Raven shifted backwards on the bed, lifting her leg onto it to sit more comfortably. Her expression was sympathetic as she looked down at Charles and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “You mean like, abusing him?”

He nodded, smiling faintly as a way of thanking her for the small touch. It was comforting but still, the worry flooded his mind as his thoughts turned towards Erik as he sat up to sit in a slouch. “There's not really much we can do without proof. I've researched everything. I've even thought about calling, but Child Protective Services can't do much. All his father has to say is that he's a rowdy teen and they will bury the case, especially since he's just been in a fight at school this year.”

“Oh, Charles...” Raven's arms wrapped around him in a firm hug, which he returned without much enthusiasm. “It's not your fault. We'll think of something... But for now—“ She pulled away with a large smile on her face. “—Let's keep his mind off of it, and our own while we get you dressed for the party.”

“I'm afraid I really did plan on going without a costume, Raven.”

She shot him a look, eyebrow arching. “Come on, you must have something.”

Charles gave a small huff of a laugh. “I suppose I do have _something_...”

It had been some time since Charles had been to the attic. He had no reason to go there, as it was only filled with old trunks and boxes of things that his parents collected in their travels. The air was musty and smelled of very old dust. Many smells of different lands and different people lingered in the air like ghosts. All of the alphas and betas and omegas that had owned these things across the world... their scents lingered even now, long after they had passed on. He'd already been through the contents of each box and trunk many times as a child and knew the contents by heart. They weren't really of any use other than for decoration or to sell, neither of which Charles needed them for.

“Been eaten by a ghost yet?” Raven called from below.

“Not yet,” he replied.

Lucky was busy sniffing around the room as Charles moved some boxes out of the way and began to dig around through the many trunks. The first was a faded green with brass lining and seemed to be only dresses, and the second filled with the same was a cream color with silver lining. It wasn't until he opened the third trunk, a dim magenta, that he came across what he was looking for. “Gotcha.”

Descending down the spiral staircase with Lucky just behind him, Charles held the clothing and a hat delicately to his chest with a smile warming his face. He inhaled, recognizing the dominant scent that lingered in the cloth. “My mother loved Victorian clothes, and my father wore them sometimes for her. I don't know if they'll fit, but I guess we'll see.”

“Are you sure you want to wear these to a high school party?” Raven asked with a skeptical look, admiring the fabric as she took the top hat and examined it. “They look authentic.”

Charles gave a shrug as they made their way back downstairs to his room, Lucky running excitedly ahead of them. “It's not as if there's not plenty of these upstairs to begin with.”

Charles had done extensive research on the Victorian era. He knew more than he should about their social norms and the extent of the scientific and health research the people had access to; he even knew about the clothing they wore and how to tie an ascot tie... but Charles had never dressed himself in Victorian clothing. It was an awkward fumble as Raven helped him into the multi-pieced suit. The coat was a rich brown color with a vest colored a white-ish cream adorned with golden floral designs, and the high-waisted pants matched the color of the black collar and lapels of the coat.

Tugging at the collar of the white shirt, Charles cleared his throat nervously and meddled with the white cravat tie. “It's so... strange,” he mumbled, examining the reflection of the young man before him. At first, he thought he almost looked like his father... but it was only his imagination. He did look to be right out of the 1800's though, and some part of him (a rather large part) hoped that the costume would impress Erik greatly.

“Charles, you look _great!_ I can't wait to see the look on Erik's face when he sees you. There's sure to be a kiss by the end of the night, at least.” Raven was taking pictures with her phone but he didn't move to stop her.

He tried to hide the smile that spread across his lips as Charles opened the door of his closet to find a pair of shoes that would properly match the costume. “We'll see.”

He could tell Raven had slipped on her heels from the sound of their clunking across the hardwood floors as she shuffled around in the master bathroom, probably to be sure that her makeup was just right. Her phone sounded off with what Charles assumed was a text as he sat down to tie the black ankle-high dress shoes he'd picked out.

“Hank says they're out front!” Raven called from the bathroom.

He wasn't sure exactly why but his heart began to beat like that of a racehorse who'd just finished the Kentucky Derby. Charles wasn't ready. He had his costume and shoes on, his pea coat waited downstairs to be put on, and his keys were in the pocket of it. Lucky had been fed for the night, had gone out, and was now settled down in front of the (electronic) fireplace in the wall at the foot of his bed. Despite all this, he still felt he wasn't ready.

Raven untucked her hair from the back of her coat and began to button it up as she entered the closet. “Charles, we're already late! Are you ready yet?”

It took him a moment to respond. “It's fashionable to be late,” Charles replied as he settled the hat atop his head with a smile, avoiding the question completely. They hurried down the stairs together, Charles nearly slipping to his death if not for Raven being there to catch him as they laughed in excitement. Lucky followed them to the door but Charles instructed him to stay as he grabbed his coat on the way out the door. He hurried excitedly down the steps behind Raven towards the Blazer that hummed in the driveway.

The back door of the car opened, and someone began to step out. Who other than Erik? He smiled at Charles as he straightened next to the car, leaning on it in a near provocative manner as he smirked. _Yes_ , Charles thought finally as he stared at the costume Erik wore—a white button-down shirt with pinstripes and black slacks with red suspenders. A smaller unlit cigar was between his teeth. _I'm ready for this_.

Erik tipped his fedora as he bowed slightly, cigar removed from his mouth. “Sir,” he teased.

Charles hoped the dark hid his blush well as he laughed. “Stop it... Let's go. We're late.”

“And whose fault is that?” Erik asked, teasing once more. He grabbed Charles, who laughed and protested as Erik dragged him into the back seat of the car on his lap.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lolol, this was garbage and Erik is barely even in it, but I have no shame. I'M SORRY THOUGH. I think the next chapter should have more of what you want to see. Expect it soon.


	5. Starry, Starry Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's party time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late and I will probably regret posting this in the morning... and will probably edit almost everything. But here, chapter 5. x~x

Charles had never been inebriated before in his life, so one can only imagine just how much he would enjoy his first buzz. He wasn't able to drink beer, if he were being honest; the flavor was much too bitter for him and caused him to gag, but he did enjoy a sweet strawberry ale that Angel introduced to him. It seemed as if nothing was able to bring him down as he laughed and danced to the music playing through the speakers in the spacious living room. At some point between dancing and drinking, his coat and hat had been stored in the hallway closet and his sleeves had been rolled up to help cool himself down. Two or three alphas had decided to dance with him, but none of them had been Erik. Still, Charles found it wonderful how everyone in the room seemed to move in rhythm, yet sporadically on their own. The life of the dance floor was amazing and beautiful, and Charles had never felt happier, despite his clumsiness becoming more apparent the more he drank.

It wasn't until sometime later that he decided to step away and get some fresh air. The cool October breeze that washed over him was refreshing as he wiped away some of the sweat on his forehead. Charles, however, didn't get to enjoy his moment of relief for very long. He stared as none other than Azazel and his friends walked along the sidewalk and decided to join the party. Watching him come up the walkway caused Charles to swallow thickly. He wouldn't be able to fight in the state he was in.

As Azazel approached, he gave a laugh and slung an arm around Charles' shoulders. “Well, if it isn't my favorite little omega nerd,” he greeted in a sly voice.

Charles tried to back away as a strange feeling of desire overtook him that made him feel rather uncomfortable. Azazel was an asshole, and Charles was barely sober enough to know not to cross that line. “I'm not looking for trou—“

“Hey, hey, hey there little omega...” Azazel's arm squeezed him in an almost friendly way. “All's good between us. All's good. Your little stunt in Bishop's class got the school talking, and that black eye of mine got me some real good omega ass.” He and his alpha friends that had tagged along all laughed in a strange way.

Charles wasn't sure why he felt embarrassed but it was probably because they were in such close proximity... and neither of them were bonded.

Azazel's tone changed, and he sounded as if he were curious as he leaned in a bit closer. “Although none of them have quite smelled like _you_. What is that, a musk or something?” He leaned in close enough for his nose to touch the scent gland on Charles' neck as he inhaled deeply.

A wave of horror washed over Charles followed by a wave of embarrassment. “What are you doing!” He slapped Azazel and shoved him away.

A low snarl sounded behind Charles, which caused him to nearly jump out of his skin. “Yeah, what _are_ you doing?” Charles was relieved to see that Logan had come to his rescue, looming menacingly in the nearby doorway. His expression was stone, unreadable with his eyes dark and piercing. Charles had never seen him with such a frightening look but it didn't stop him from moving toward Logan for protection.

Azazel began to chuckle as he rubbed his cheek and held up a hand defensively. “I'm sorry to step on your toes, my friend. I didn't come here looking for a fight.” He held a hand outstretched in Logan's direction.

His eyes flickered downward to the offered hand and back up at Azazel. “Stay away from him,” Logan demanded in reply and ignored the offered hand, causing Charles to blush deeply. Azazel nodded his head in understanding but gave no response and moved along to inside the house with his friends in tow.

Logan sighed. “Come on, let's go inside. You alright?”

Charles nodded, swallowing hard as he followed Logan up the stairs. He had to raise his voice over the music now that they were back inside. “I'm fine, thank you!”

Logan shrugged it off. “Come sit with me while I have a smoke.”

He didn't respond and instead followed Logan up the stairs to the second floor where they entered a room. A couple getting ready to mate scrambled to cover themselves but Logan slammed the door shut and muttered curses to himself. Charles couldn't help but laugh as they searched for another empty room. After finally finding one near the end of the hall, the two of them crossed it to the balcony outside and Logan lit up a cigarette.

“Thank you,” Charles repeated as he leaned backwards against the railing. “I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't shown up.”

Logan shrugged his shoulders, leaning beside Charles to look over the backyard below them. “It was nothin'... although I woulda thought your _boy toy_ would've been there.” He spoke with some distaste as he took another drag off the cigarette.

Charles felt taken aback by his comment. “I'm... sure he's somewhere around here. It's not like he hovers around me all the time like a chaperone.” As soon as the comment left his mouth, he wondered how on earth Logan had known what was happening when Azazel came up. Was Logan... hovering around him?

There was no response from Logan. He simply sighed a breath of smoke out through his nose.

“But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?” Charles jumped at the sound of whoever's voice was beginning to serenade him and looked down to see that Erik was standing below him in the backyard. Or was standing, until he moved to hang onto a tree branch to lift himself upward with a wide smile as his hat was dramatically swept outward. “It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!” He was obviously rather drunk.

Charles laughed at his antics along with a few others in the backyard but Logan seemed to become so annoyed that he flicked his half-smoked cigarette away and stalked back inside to disappear into the party once more—not without muttering “asshole” under his breath.

“Ay _me_ ,” Charles replied, knowing full well it's too soon in the script but not caring as he laughed. “What are you doing down there? You're going to hurt yourself.”

Erik began to climb the tree below, causing his voice to become strained as he spoke. “It will definitely be—ow—worth it.” Unfortunately, Erik wasn't as coordinated as usual and ended up falling out of the tree and straight onto his back in the dew-glazed grass.

“Careful!” Charles called down to him and began to laugh hysterically. As his mouth opened to ask if Erik was alright, the bedroom door burst open behind him followed by giggling, and Charles moved out of the way to peek inside and see that a male alpha and omega were beginning to strip their clothes. Quickly, he snuck through the room and headed down the stairs. Before he could make it to the back door, Raven stopped him.

“Have you seen Angel?” she called loudly over the boom of the music.

“No,” he called back, shaking his head. “Is something wrong?”

Raven gestured for him to follow, and Charles did so until they were standing in the dining room where there were many punch bowls and a few kegs lying about. “I think she finally asked Logan to go steady with her,” Raven began as she leaned against the table, eyes still scanning the room beyond, “but it sounds like it didn't go well. I think she ran off crying.”

Charles' heart immediately sank for her. Angel had been pining over Logan for quite some time now, and everyone had been hoping that eventually Logan would soften up for her but it seemed to be the exact opposite had happened. Perhaps it was too soon after Jean... “I need to check on Erik—he just fell out of a tree—but I can look for her while I'm outside.”

Confusion crossed Raven's face as she turned to look at Charles. “Wha—? Nevermind... Go check on him, hun. I'll find her.” She gave him a quick squeeze of a hug before disappearing into the crowd once more.

Charles hurried out of the kitchen's back door to find Erik still lying on his back in the grass, humming a melody that he could barely hear. He began to laugh and offered a hand to Erik to pull him to his feet. “What are you doing down there?”

“Waiting for you,” he replied and accepted the help to stand with a groan as he got to his feet, which was followed up with, “because I couldn't stand on my own.”

Charles giggled softly. “Come on... let's go somewhere quiet. I know just the place.” He began to lead Erik away, who reached forward to take Charles' hand in his. Charles was startled by the motion but continued on as if nothing were wrong. The two of them climbed the stairs to the third floor and then climbed out of one of the windows to settle down on the rooftop. It wasn't exactly quiet, but the sounds of the party weren't as overwhelming as they had been inside the house or in the backyard near the pool.

Erik yawned as he lay on his back and gave a sigh as one of his hands tucked beneath his head. “Beautiful,” he mumbled, his eyes fluttering closed.

Charles turned to look at him, surprised as he hunkered down beside him. “What?”

Without opening his eyes, Erik replied, “The stars. They're beautiful, aren't they?”

Charles nodded, somewhat disappointed by the response until he turned to see the entirety of the sky littered with stars and understood. The moon was nowhere to be seen, leaving only the stars to light the night sky. “Yes... yes they are.” His mind wandered briefly to the painting in his bedroom and the pencil that Erik seemed so attached to that Charles had given him only a couple of months ago.

“A starry, starry night... They're almost as beautiful as you are.”

Charles wasn't sure he heard right and gave a small laugh “... Erik, I think you've had quite enough to drink tonight.”

“No, no, I mean it.” Erik propped himself up onto his elbow to hover over Charles, smiling down at him drunkenly. “I think you're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.” His fingers caressed along Charles' jawline affectionately.

Goosebumps waved across his skin. This was the moment... This was the moment he'd been waiting for, since the day they met. Erik's confession warmed him from within, despite the chilly breeze that brushed across their skin, and Charles couldn't help the affectionate smile that spread across his face. “Erik—” He wasn't able to finish his thought. Before he knew it, there were lips pressed against his in a soft, gentle kiss. Charles' eyes flew wide open and he stared up at Erik as he pulled away. They held each other's gaze for a long moment in silence.

Before he could react, Erik was kissing him again, claiming Charles' lips with his own in a hungry and demanding way that he hadn't anticipated. Charles returned the kiss eagerly, an arm wrapped around the back of Erik's neck as he melted into the alpha's touch. The scent of alpha was becoming stronger, and Charles grew more eager to kiss him, to touch him and feel him. Fingers found their way up the back of Charles' shirt, warm as they explored his skin and pulled him upwards against Erik. A soft breath of a moan slipped through his lips as Erik moved the kiss downward, peppering his jawline and earlobe with firm but gentle pecks. He inhaled Charles' scent deeply with a growl sounding low in his throat as his nose buried into the crook of Charles' neck. Erik's fingers were traveling across his body, exploring and touching every part of him that he could. It all seemed too surreal, too perfect... and apparently it was.

It wasn't even a moment later that Erik pulled away abruptly and scrambled to the edge of the roof. At first, Charles thought he was going to dive off of it in some deranged suicidal attempt, but he stopped at the edge and vomited off the side of the house rather noisily.

Charles' nose curled and he laughed softly, disappointment flooding through him that the kiss—and the night, it seemed—had ended in such a way as he pushed himself to his feet and wiped his hands of the pieces of shingles that had stuck to them. Erik was groaning in discomfort as Charles approached and pulled him backwards to sit on the roof, ensuring he didn't fall off the edge.

“Come on... Let's get you home.”

\--

“He just _passed out?_ ”

Raven was laughing as Logan, Hank, Charles and herself attempted to carry Erik's limp body up the stairs of Charles' manor. “It sure looks like it... He'll want to brush his teeth in the morning.” She cringed playfully and giggled in her drunken stupor.

Logan didn't look happy about it at all but still gave a helping hand.

“It's not funny...” Charles frowned as Erik's head was bonked against the guest room doorway. “Come on, guys, be gentle.”

“We _are_ being gentle,” Logan snapped, as if he were even more irritated than usual.

Charles glanced at him nervously and shook off the feeling that Logan was really beginning to dislike Erik. “Just lay him on the bed—yes, that's it, gently. Thank you.”

Raven was stumbling out the door with Hank supporting her as Charles began to remove Erik's shoes. Logan hovered in the doorway, watching. “You could do better, you know,” he muttered.

Charles cast him a quick sideways glance (a gesture learned early on in his friendship with Erik) as he set Erik's nice dress shoes off to the side and struggled to pull the covers back from underneath Erik and over his large form. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“I wouldn't make you tuck _me_ in like a damn baby.”

When what Logan said finally sunk in, Charles turned to look at where he had been standing only to watch as he left the doorway and made his exit down the hall. Charles straightened, scratching his head in confusion as he glanced back and forth from the empty doorway where Logan had been to the sleeping form of Erik below him. With furled eyebrows, he gave a kiss to Erik's cheek and moved across the room to turn the light off and shut the door. Charles leaned against the door and released a heavy sigh as he pondered the words that Logan had spoken before leaving.  _What could you possibly mean by that, Logan?_

 

 


	6. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confusing Sunday leads to an even more confusing Monday.

Charles awakened to a knock on his bedroom door and shot up out of bed, causing Lucky to jump from the excitement and look around in his sleepy haze. The rays of sunshine streaming in through the opened curtains blinded him momentarily, and Charles squeezed his eyes shut as he called out tiredly, “Come in.”

The door cracked open as Lucky jumped down off the bed, and Raven peeked in. “Morning, sleepyhead.” She gasped and the smile on her face widened. “Lucky! Hi, boy!” She bent down to pet the dog as she walked past him. Her hair was in a messy braid down her side and her makeup smudged, but the two of them were so comfortable around each other that she didn't much care. She wasn't wearing the cocktail dress anymore but instead some of Hank's pajama pants and a t-shirt.

Charles smiled at her and fell back into the bed with a groan. “Good morning... What times is it?” With an eye squinted shut, he turned to look at the alarm clock at his side before shooting up from the bed once more. “Good lord, it's 9 AM! We're late for school!”

“Charles, it's Sunday,” she reminded him gently as she climbed onto the edge of the bed.

Charles looked at her a moment, processing her words until he began to laugh in embarrassment. “Oh... right.”

Raven smiled at him, amused at his overreaction. “Hank and I are gonna make breakfast. Do you want anything?” Lucky came over to lean against the bed beside her, reveling in the strokes she gave to his head.

Charles began to stretch, groaning from the relief he felt from the aching muscles. “We could make something simple. German pancakes, maybe?”

“Yeah, we can do that. Just for your boyfriend.” She patted his leg through the comforter. “Why don't you go wake up Erik?” Raven crossed the room with Lucky at her heels and shut the door behind them as they left.

In truth, he had forgotten entirely that Erik lay somewhere in a guest room, probably still passed out from the night before. He'd been so terribly drunk and must have an awful headache this morning. It would probably be best to bring him some pain killers.

He inhaled deeply and released the breath as a sigh. Today was going to be... interesting to say the least. Charles hadn't had the chance to talk with Erik since last night when they were on the rooftop, and there were way too many questions he had—for Erik as well as himself. It took him a few minutes but he managed to convince himself to get out of bed, get dressed (because apparently he'd stripped himself naked before getting into bed last night) and head across the house to see how Erik was faring this morning.

As he lifted a hand to knock on the door, Charles paused. Instead of knocking, his head set against the door and he gave a soft sigh. What if he wasn't ready for this? Despite his mind being muddled the night before, he remembered very clearly their conversation on the rooftop and what ensued afterward, however short lived it was. This was what he'd wanted since he met Erik... but was it what he should be doing with his life?

When Charles was a young boy—no older than 6 or so—and he and his family still resided in England, he'd had the pleasure of making friends with a few of the neighboring boys. They treated him differently because he was an omega. They told him he couldn't do the things that they could do because of his sex; because he was weak and small and only meant for breeding; because they believed there was no other purpose in his life and that he shouldn't even bother. He remembered running home to his mother in tears and telling her what had happened. As she comforted Charles, his father overheard the conversation and said the one thing that had changed his life forever: _Never let your sex define what you can and cannot do, my son_.

Since that day, Charles had always strived to prove that he could achieve great things. He may not have been very large or strong at all but that didn't stop him from still wanting to prove that his purpose was not just to be mated and bred. He studied endlessly, science and literature and history being his muses that drove him to learn and discover and thrive with information. Charles was going to be a professor of a grand university one day, and nothing was going to stop him. But the events of the past couple of months had made him question himself. Since meeting Erik, he had focused less on his academics and more on pursuing a mate. Was this the path that he truly wanted to follow? Was he willing to give up his dream of being a professor to pursue love and become a mate instead?

Swallowing thickly, finally he made his decision and lifted a hand to knock on the door. “Erik?” There was no response. “Erik, are you awake?” Charles cracked the door open, and his heart sank when it swung open to reveal that Erik was nowhere to be seen. The bed had been remade sloppily and Erik's fedora was still on the nightstand but it appeared as though he'd gotten out of bed early in the morning.

Charles sighed as he looked around the vacant room and cross it to pick up the hat, his hands turning it over absent-mindedly as he headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. There he discovered Hank and Raven laughing and enjoying themselves as they prepared breakfast. “Have either of you seen Erik?”

Hank wiped some flour from his glasses with the apron he wore. “Not since last night.”

Raven was mixing a thick yellow substance in a bowl that seemed to be mostly made of eggs. “I thought he was still asleep upstairs.” Charles shook his head wordlessly. The two others exchanged a silent look. “Are you sure he's not in the library?”

“I think he went home,” Charles replied.

“His loss, really...” Hank tried to make light o the situation as he offered a smile. “These German pancakes are going to be great.”

Charles gave a half-hearted laugh and turned to exit the kitchen with his mind swimming with even more questions, still fiddling with the fedora in his hands. What could have made Erik leave so early in the morning?

 

\--

 

School on Monday morning was somewhat nerve-racking. Charles was on edge every second as he moved through the halls between classes, hoping to run into Erik and hoping to avoid him at the same time. The moment he confronted Erik was the moment he found out what he truly wanted to do with his life... and Charles wasn't sure if he was ready to face the truth just yet.

When it came time for lunch, everyone in class was packed and ready to go while Charles hadn't put any of his materials from Calculus away. He procrastinated doing so, even after the bell rang and ended up staying an extra few moments while he found reasons to reorder some of the things in his folders. Ms. Romanoff didn't seem to mind that he'd hung around. She sat at her desk, casually snacking on some apple slices as she read the Scarlet Letter. Her eyes flickered upward from the pages of her book to Charles momentarily before she set it down to give him her attention. “Everything okay, Xavier?”

“Hm?” His eyebrows lifted as he turned to look at her. “Oh, yeah. Everything's... fine.”

Ms. Romanoff gave him a skeptical look as she pushed herself up from her desk and walked over to lean against the desk beside him, arms folded across her chest. It was faint but he was still able to smell the omega scent beneath her perfume. It wasn't as strong as Charles' more than likely because she was bonded; that or she used suppressants. “What's going on? You don't seem yourself.”

Charles gave a shrug as he slid the textbook into his backpack. “Just... alpha problems.”

Her eyes rolled with a half-scoffed laugh. “Isn't it always?” Ms. Romanoff offered a friendly smile to him. “Whatever you're going through right now, whatever problems you're having... It's going to be okay.” She nodded faintly to make her point as she spoke.

He gave a shrug. “I guess so...”

She laughed quietly, her eyes distant as if she were recalling a memory. “I know it seems like the end of the world when alphas don't behave the way we think they should, but there's always a reason they do what they do.”

This seemed to be the small amount of encouragement that he needed, and Charles returned her smile ever so faintly as he nodded. He hoisted his messenger bag onto his shoulder and as he made his way to exit the classroom, Charles stopped. “Thank you,” he nearly whispered as his hand rested on the classroom door.

Ms. Romanoff smiled. “Can't have my favorite student down in the dumps. I need you at your best if you plan on keeping A's in my class,” she teased as she walked back to her desk. “Give 'em hell, Charles.”

He gave a laugh as he exited the classroom but Charles fidgeted nervously with his fingers in his pockets as he made his way to the lunchroom. His stomach dropped when he saw that Erik sat at the table talking and laughing with Angel, Raven and Hank while Logan sat there with the same unimpressed expression on his face that he always had. He wasn't sure he was ready but still he trudged forward with determination. “Hey guys,” he greeted as he approached with a half-smile. His chest was constricting and he almost felt sick from the nervousness that coursed through him.

Erik turned to look up at him as he took a drink of the water before him. His right eye was darkened slightly underneath, and if Charles didn't know any better, he'd say Erik's lip was split near the corner and faintly swollen. “Finally decided to join us, did you?”

“Yeah,” he replied with a nervous laugh. “Can I... talk to you for a moment?”

Erik raised an eyebrow curiously and opened his mouth to say something. “Uhh, sure.” He excused himself from the table and he and Charles began walking away down the hall together.

“I, uhhh...” Heat was rising in his cheeks but Charles tried to pretend that it wasn't as he tucked some strands of hair behind his ear. “I wanted to ask you about last night...”

Erik smiled that cute half-smile he always did. “What about last night?”

They stopped, now far enough from the lunch room that no one would be able to eavesdrop unless they walked past, and Charles gave a shrug. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

While shifting his weight, Erik rubbed the back of his neck as he chuckled nervously. “I don't... really remember last night.”

It was all he could do not to stare at Erik in disbelief. He didn't remember anything? _None_ of it? “Well, you said some things that—“

Erik began laughing. “I'm sorry. I've never been drunk before and I guess I over-did it. Whatever I said was probably just some silly nonsense. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.”

Despite the fact he could almost literally feel his heart breaking in his chest as his stomach dropped, Charles tried to give a small laugh. Something was off about the way Erik was acting... but he decided not to push it and let Erik believe he was convinced. “No, not at all,” he replied, trying to smile and act as normal as possible. “Everything's fine. I just wanted to clear things up between us.”

Slinging an arm around his shoulders, Erik began leading Charles back towards the lunch room. “Come on, Raven was just talking about this guy that tried to spike the punch bowls!”

He still there was something Erik wasn't telling him but Charles didn't show any signs of it as he laughed. “That sounds crazy. Did she tackle him or something?”

Ms. Romanoff's words echoed in his mind as they sat down at the lunch table together and began talking about the party at Angel's house on Saturday night.

_There's always a reason they do what they do._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, guys. No smut yet. We're getting there, I promise. ;D The next chapter will be longer!


	7. Shut Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter's coming.

It had been several weeks since the Halloween party and the aftermath that had caused Charles quite a bit of grief and inner turmoil. Erik still pretended as if nothing was wrong between them, but every once in a while he would catch Erik looking at him. It wasn't so strange at first but Charles began to notice the look in his eyes. He almost looked forlorn, as if he were yearning for something, but whenever he realized Charles was looking, his expression brightened and he smiled.

The two of them were back to acting as friends but there were still small touches here and there that made Charles' heart flutter and wonder what was happening between them. Part of him was sure that he was overreacting and that this was what normal friends did together. Another part of him screamed that something was wrong and that Erik was trying to cover up whatever it was. Charles longed to fix whatever had happened between them but it was apparent that Erik did not want to discuss it and would rather go on pretending that everything was fine.

Still, the days went on like this well into November and eventually into the beginning of December, where they had several exams due before the holiday break. Even though he knew the material like the back of his hand, Charles had been studying day and night for each and every one of them he was meant to take. It was his senior year—his year to really show them what he was made of—and he wasn't going to settle for anything less than an A on each one of them. If he was going to go to a university, he wanted his grades to impress, not his money.

The mornings had grown darker and darker the closer the winter solstice came, and the weather became colder and colder. Students now wore their winter clothes, which meant it was Ugg boot season. Angel was wearing a pair of them as she crossed the lunchroom to the table her friends sat at chatting while they waited for classes to start. “I'm going to flunk,” Angel announced as she plopped into her seat and dramatically flopped onto the table. Charles giggled and brushed some dark hair from her face.

Hank laughed and patted her back. “It's alright. What subjects do you need help with?”

“All of them! Azazel is no use; he's flunking all of his classes already and has no idea how to help me!” Charles' eyes scanned the room for the alpha she spoke about. Angel was eventually able to get over her pining for Logan and moved on to another alpha she had been admiring from afar, which was the same one that had given Charles some trouble in the past.

“He's not much use for anything,” Logan muttered.

“I can help you,” Hank offered. “We could study together!”

Angel gave a sigh of relief as she turned to him. “Oh my god, that would be amazing. Would you really do that for me?”

Erik was sipping some hot chocolate from a canteen he'd brought along. “I'm not sure I'll fare any better. I'm having trouble understanding the study sheet for Calculus.”

A mischievous smirk spread across Raven's lips. “Charles could help,” she volunteered, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye before she smiled widely at Erik. “You guys could set up tutoring lessons.”

Charles blushed a deep shade of red. “Well, I-I... suppose I could. I've never been a tutor before but it shouldn't be too difficult.”

“No, really, it's alright. I may just have to deal with the consequences.” Erik gave a half-hearted laugh and sipped at his hot chocolate once more.

“Don't be silly,” Charles snapped at him playfully. “We can meet after school today and go through the materials together.”

With a shrug, Erik smiled and gave a salute. “Yessir, Mr. Xavier.”

“Shut it, you nitwit.”

“Ow!” A high-pitched squealing sound came from Erik as Charles pinched him, and he rubbed his arm dramatically. Erik reached over to return the favor but Charles moved away quickly as he laughed, and he seemed to give up when he didn't succeed the first time around.

Charles brushed some strands of chestnut hair from his forehead to tuck them behind his ear and pulled off the fingerless gloves that were causing his hands to become much too hot. “Meet us out front and you can come over to my house tonight and we can work on some things.”

The first bell rang just as he offered Erik a friendly smile. Erik, of course, returned it only briefly before he slung his backpack over his shoulder and removed himself from the table. “Alright, fine. I'll see you at lunch.”

The day went by so painfully slow that Charles felt as if it would never end. Ms. Romanoff surprised her students with a pop quiz but Charles was almost sure that he passed it. Lunch was as it always was, nothing unusual happening as they all sat around and ate their lunches together (Charles sharing with Erik was a norm by now). His time spent together in ABO Biology with Erik was silent because of the test they took together. Finally the day came to a close, and Charles thanked Hank and Raven very kindly for the ride home that she gave to him and Erik.

As they approached the front door of the manor, Lucky could be heard barking inside. “You have a dog?” Erik asked, his eyes widening slightly.

The lock clicked as Charles turned the key. “Of course I do!” He laughed as he opened the door and the yellow lab came bolting outside in excitement, wagging his tail and whining for attention as he sniffed at Erik.

“Well, hello!” Erik called out as he dropped to his knees. His backpack was abandoned at his side as Erik pet Lucky enthusiastically, allowing the dog to lick his face as he babbled incoherently at Lucky. Charles gazed on in admiration, setting his backpack just inside the door.

“I think he likes you,” Charles commented sarcastically, petting Lucky's back.

“He's so cute. What happened to his eye? Oh, hello. Yes, yes, hello!” Lucky whined and yipped playfully as he licked at Erik's face and began leaping about from excitement.

“I'm not really sure. He lost it before I adopted him.” Charles whistled, pointing to the front door and calling, “Come on, boy.” Lucky followed the order faithfully and scrambled on inside to wait for them, barely able to contain himself as he sat on the rug in the entrance hall.

“Wow,” Erik commented as he entered the house, slipping his shoes off at the front door.

Charles shut the door behind him with a laugh and removed his own shoes as well. “I forgot, you haven't been in my house while sober,” he teased.

“No, I haven't.” With fascination filling his eyes, Erik looked around the entrance hall in amazement as he dropped his backpack near his shoes. “You live here all alone?”

“Yes,” Charles replied as he walked into the kitchen, expecting Erik to follow just as Lucky trailed along behind him. “It's just me and Lucky. Raven used to live with us but she's since moved in with Hank at his parents' house after they bonded. A housekeeper comes by twice a week but there's not much for her to do around here. I mostly keep her employed because she's been working with us since I was young.” While he spoke, Charles retrieved a pitcher of water from the fridge and a glass from one of the kitchen cabinets. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Yes, actually... Water would be great.” Charles wasn't sure if he was aware of it or not, but Erik licked his lips at the mention of water.

After pouring him a glass, Charles handed it to him and leaned against the counter as he sipped from his own water. “Well... Shall we get started?”

Erik gave a shrug and smiled at him across the room as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Sure.”

“Come on, we'll set up in the library.”

The two of them ascended the wide, elaborate staircase and, instead of turning left as Charles usually did to go to his bedroom, they turned right and entered through the second door on the right. Erik stopped in the doorway with widened eyes and mumbled a sound of amazement as he stared at the many ceiling-high bookshelves with rolling ladders attached to them. There were at least 20 in the huge room with other smaller shelves between them. Furniture was scattered about the room like tables with chairs or recliners or couches but there was a sofa with a couple of recliners and a coffee table surrounding the fireplace. “I've never seen so many books,” he commented in awe.

Charles laughed softly, a blush warming his cheeks as Erik admired the room. “They belonged to my parents. I've only read a select few of them... although I imagine I'll probably end up reading all of them by the time I'm dead with all the spare time I have.”

“What I would give for a library like this.” Erik's backpack was discarded on one of the couches.

“You could have it, you know,” Charles mumbled under his breath.

Erik turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. “What?”

“I mean, you can come over any time you'd like... I won't be using all of them any time soon.” He offered a smile to Erik as he sipped the glass of water he'd brought along with him.

Charles set his glass on the mantelpiece lined with photos and decorations above the fireplace and began dragging a table toward it. “It's going to get cold in here,” he warned as he straightened the table and went back for another chair. “We'll want to be close to the fireplace as possible.”

Without having to be asked, Erik had already begun loading logs into the fireplace along with some kindling. “No central air?”

“I only wish... Do you know how to light a fire?” Charles placed the second chair at the table and took a seat.

“I've read about it,” Erik admitted, laughing in embarrassment. “I'm sure I could get it going.”

“Open the flu,” Charles reminded him and watched as Erik lit the fire and struggled to keep it going. After a few moments of lighting kindling that didn't catch, Charles had to show him some tricks to get the fire going. Eventually there was a roaring fire beside them that warmed them nicely as they readied themselves for a night of study. Charles' eyes flickered to the pencil in Erik's hand and he couldn't fight the smile that graced his features when he saw that it was indeed the starry blue pencil he expected to see.

Lucky pushed the door open with his nose and lay down on the rug in front of the fireplace, just beside Erik where he sat at the table. He reached down to pat Lucky's side and give him a few pets before returning to work.

For the next few hours, the two of them studied multiple subjects together. At first, they stuck to the ones pertinent to Erik's classes he took (basics like history, english, calculus, biology, etc.) but eventually after moving to the floor in front of the fireplace to talk, their discussion turned to the arts and they began discussing authors and their works and then eventually artists.

“You're kidding!” Erik was propped up on his elbow, head cradled in his hand as he stared at Charles. The look of astonishment on Erik's face was only visible by the light of the fire. By this time, they'd turned off the lights inside the library.

Charles laughed, shaking his head that both his hands were tucked behind. “No, I'm serious! He was best friends with Gauguin.”

“I had no idea,” Erik replied as he gazed into the fire that had begun to die beside them. “I don't know why I never would've thought of that. I mean, their styles _are_ very similar...”

“True, but I have to admit that I like Van Gogh's work better than Gauguin.” Pushing himself up from the floor, Charles grabbed another log of wood and stepped over Lucky (still lying on the rug) to set it on top of the glowing embers. “You can really see his pain and his emotional struggle in his paintings, you know?”

“I'll have to agree with you there. His work is just beautiful.” Erik gazed into the fire as Charles brushed his hands free of the small chips of wood and wandered over to the sofa to strip it of the soft blanket thrown across it. “Would you mind grabbing me a pillow?” Erik asked, tilting his head to look upside down at him.

Charles tossed one at him and dragged the soft blanket over to the floor along with another pillow. He lay down next to Erik, who grabbed the blanket and scooted close Charles while shivering slightly.

Silence fell across the room except for the crackling of the fireplace. Charles was aware that his eyes were falling closed from sleepiness but he was having trouble fighting it as his thoughts swam here and there. He was vaguely aware that Erik had moved even closer and was readjusting the blanket to completely cover the both of them.

“Charles?” he whispered, breaking the silence between them.

“Mn...?” It was a lazy response, drowsiness overtaking Charles as his eyebrows raised slightly. His eyes still remained closed.

Erik was silent for a moment. “... Never mind.”

In his sleepy state of mind, Charles turned onto his side and moved right up against his chest to better inhale the alpha scent that lingered strongly in the air. Although he seemed stiff and rather surprised by this, Erik eventually relaxed and draped an arm over Charles' side. Erik inhaled deeply and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. “Good night,” he whispered before Charles felt himself slip into the dark embrace of a dreamless sleep to the sound of Erik humming a low melody.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's not that much longer. :| Don't kill me. I love to read your comments, though! ♥ Thanks for the love, guys!
> 
> I named the chapter after a song by Snow Patrol I had never heard and then, after listening to it, I'm very weirded out by how eerily similar it is to the chapter. To listen to it, you can go here:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQUO76rD9Jw


	8. Whispers In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you wanna build a snowman?

The unpleasant sensation of Lucky's cold nose in his face was what Charles woke to in the morning. Groaning, he pushed the dog away as he inhaled deeply through his nose, giving a long stretch with a yawn and curling back into the warmth behind him. But his eyes flew open once more and Charles sat up to see that the source of warmth behind him was Erik, who roused from Charles' movement. His eyes cracked open and a sleepy smile spread across his expression. “Morning,” he mumbled in a crackly, tired voice.

Returning the smile nervously, Charles chuckle softly. “Good morning. Um...” He glanced around as the memory of how and why they'd ended up on the floor in front of the library fireplace returned to him. “I guess we didn't make it to bed,” he joked. The cold prickled his skin as his teeth chattered, and Charles rubbed his arms to keep himself warm with the friction. Lucky groaned as if in annoyance as he sat down beside them. “Do you need to go out, boy?” Charles whispered, reaching out to pet him. He pushed himself to his feet and stretched his back that ached from sleeping on the floor.

“Shit,” Erik muttered as he dropped an arm across his eyes. “I was supposed to go home last night.”

Concern flooded Charles immediately as the thought of Shaw came to mind. “I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—“

“No, it's alright,” he interrupted, shaking his head as he smiled faintly. “It's fine. I'll be fine.”

Swallowing thickly, Charles glanced down at him. “I... have to let Lucky out but you can go back to sleep in my bed if you want... There's an electronic fireplace in there and it heats up pretty quickly.”

Erik stretched with a loud groan and nodded his head as he rolled onto his back. “I think that sounds like a better idea than staying here.” Chuckling, he pushed him self up from the floor.

Charles picked up his pillow while Erik did the same, and they replaced the blanket and pillows on the couch as Charles called for Lucky to follow him. They headed across the house to his bedroom but as he moved the curtains on the doors out of the way to unlock the back door, he gasped. “Holy _shit_ ,” he whispered with widened eyes.

“What?” Erik came up behind him, peeking out of the glass door as well.

Outside of the doors before them was snow piled as high as Charles. They were barely able to see the trees in the distance over the sheet of fresh snow that had fallen overnight. “I-I don't understand!” Charles exclaimed as he drew the curtains back, a hand brushing his hair backwards in astonishment.

Erik seemed speechless as he stared out of the door but then began to laugh. It was quiet as first but slowly he became near hysterical. “I think it's a snow day, don't you?” he asked, leaning against the door as he gazed out over the snow, still chuckling.

“Good thing too, because it's nearly 10 AM and we were supposed to have exams today.” Charles laughed softly as he pulled his phone from his pocket to check the news. “There's a snow warning in place. It says schools have been shut down until further notice, and people are being asked to stay off the streets if they can.”

Erik shrugged his shoulders.“I think we can safely gather that's for the best, since people in Genosha really can't handle snow.” The two of them laughed.

“I'm going to have to get some heavy duty snow clothes to dig out a pathway for Lucky.” He wandered over to his closet and threw a pair of gloves in Erik's direction. “You can help.”

Erik made a face as he caught them. “It's been a while since I've made snow angels,” he said reluctantly.

“Oh, come on,” Charles pleaded. “It'll be fun!”

The look on Erik's face said that he was not convinced but he sighed heavily and shrugged. “Why not.”

Charles was able to find a pair of boots in the attic that fit Erik, and after strapping on a pair of his own, the two of them stormed outside into the snow with shovels in hand. Lucky was having the time of his life jumping through the fluffy snow as the two of them plowed through it together, making it a race to clear it away from the front walkway as quickly as possible. It appeared that a snowplow had already come through Charles' driveway, so that was some relief.

Once it seemed they had made somewhat of a reasonable-sized dent in the front yard, Charles bent down to pack some snow together in a ball and threw it at unsuspecting Erik, hitting him directly in the side of the head. Gasping, Charles' hands flew to his mouth. “I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!”

With a smirk on his face, Erik bent down to make a snowball of his own. “Didn't mean to throw a snowball at me?!” he called and chucked it at Charles, who tried to dodge it by turning his back. Unfortunately Charles wasn't quick enough and made a rather high-pitched squealing sound as some of the snow found its way down the back of his coat. All he could do was wiggle to try and get it out, and laughing was all Erik could do as he watched. “You bastard!” Scooping up more snow, he threw it at Erik and missed as he ran away.

They exchanged more snowballs and eventually after the two of them became too exhausted to run, they moved to building a snowman together—even going so far as to give him a carrot nose, raisins for his smile, a scarf and Charles' top hat.

Sometime later, Erik shielded his eyes as he glanced over his shoulder at the setting sun. “What time is it? Sunset already?”

Charles pulled the phone from his pocket to check the time. “Oh, wow... It's already almost 4.”

Chuckling, Erik gestured towards the house. “Come on, let's get inside where it's warm,” he offered and turned to trudge up the walkway.

Taking this opportunity to get his revenge, Charles packed one last snowball and hit Erik square in the back. He turned around, that mischievous, almost dangerous, look back on his face as he charged. “No, no! No, Erik—OOF!” Charles was tackled, and the two of them fell together into the snow as Charles groaned.

Erik lifted himself off of Charles as he laughed, but the smile faded from his face when their eyes locked. Charles blushed upon realizing how close and intimate they were at the moment, his gaze flickering downward to Erik's lips momentarily. He could feel Erik's breath warming his lips as the white puffs slipped through them. He seemed to lean in slightly, causing Charles' stomach to do a back flip entirely as his heart thrummed loudly in his chest, but he stopped himself. “... Erik?” Charles whispered, searching the alpha's eyes in confusion.

Erik cracked a smile again, faintly, and pushed himself to his feet. “Come on,” he said, offering a hand. Charles accepted the help and straightened himself, brushing the snow off of his back.

As he took a step forward, his balance was thrown off by the ice he didn't see, and Charles fell backwards rather ungracefully and smacked his head hard on the walkway. Groaning, his hands clutched at the sharp pain he felt but part of him was still very aware of how silly he'd looked and he began laughing through the pain. Erik himself was laughing, although he tried to suppress it as he hurried to Charles' side. “What have you done, you clumsily thing?” he asked, arms wrapping beneath Charles' back and legs to heft him upwards against his chest. “Are you alright?”

Deeply embarrassed, Charles nodded as he continued to rub his head with a painful groan. “Yes... Yes, I'm fine. It just hurts is all.”

Erik shook his head, still attempting not to laugh as he fumbled to open the door with his hand while carrying Charles. A loud whistle burst from him when he finally managed to get it open, causing Charles to jump. “Come on, Lucky! Inside!” The yellow lab's ears perked from across the yard and he bolted across the snow and into the house. The door shut, and Charles expected to be put down but squirmed as Erik continued to carry him up the staircase. “Erik, please, you don't have to—”

“It's fine,” Erik replied quickly as his snow-covered boots stomped up the steps quickly. He entered Charles' bedroom and set him on the bed as he pulled off his gloves. “Let me see,” he mumbled as he reached to touch the wound.

Charles hissed in pain but endured it as he insisted, “I'm fine! Really, Erik, I'm—” A gasp slipped through his lips as Erik pulled his hand away with a smear of blood on his fingers. “Oh...”

“Are you alright?” Charles' chin was lifted as Erik inspected his eyes closely. “Feeling dizzy? What's my last name?”

“No, I'm not. Umm... Uh, Lehnsherr. Erik, really, you can stop fussing. I don't have a concussion. It was just a bonk of my head is all.” He was already embarrassed by what had happened and wished they'd only stop talking about it. Both of his hands lifted to cup Erik's cheeks, and their eyes met as he smiled. “ _Erik_. I'm fine. All I really want right now is a hot chocolate. I'm freezing.”

Erik gave a small chuckle. “Alright... Alright.”

“Why don't you, um... turn the fireplace on?” Smiling shyly, he tested the waters by trying to stand up from the bed and was relieved when Erik allowed him to. “I'll go heat up some water.”

As he exited the bedroom, Erik called after him, “Just... don't put any marshmallows in mine.”

Charles paused halfway out the door with his hand on the doorknob. “... You don't like marshmallows in your hot chocolate?” Erik shook his head, his lips twisting slightly. “ _WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE?!_ ” Charles yelled dramatically before slamming the door. He could hear Erik cackling on the other side as he descended the stairs.

Charles returned a short time later with two mugs (one with marshmallows and one begrudgingly _without_ ) and set them down on his dresser as he smiled at Erik, who knelt in front of the fireplace with hands outstretched to enjoy the warmth. “You don't mind if I change, do you?” he asked in a soft tone.

“No, of course not.” Erik eyed him for a moment before turning back to the fireplace. “I was about to ask if you had something I'd be able to borrow, since I suppose we're snowed in together and I'm rather soaked.” That same mischievous smile that Charles loved so much appeared on his face once more.

“Umm... Well, you're a bit tall.” An embarrassed laugh slipped through his lips before he could stop himself. “I think I have some pajama pants that you can borrow. They're a little big for me.” It took some digging but Charles was able to find them just as Erik approached to grab his mug of hot chocolate and take his first sip of it. A shirt was grabbed from the drawer beneath and Charles held them out in offering.

“Mn... What brand is this?” Gaze dropped away to the mug in his hands as he inspected it momentarily while taking the clothes from Charles.

“I'm not sure...” Charles replied as he pulled out a pair of clothes for himself as well. “I think it's Swiss Miss?”

The mug was set back on the dresser and Erik shrugged as he stepped a few paces away and began to undo his belt. “I like it.”

Charles stiffened In shock and his face turned a full-blown strawberry color as Erik dropped his jeans and kicked them away. If he didn't know any better, he'd think he saw a smirk spread across Erik's face as he unrolled the pajama pants in his hands. Charles was struggling not to drop his eyes to the bulge in Erik's boxer briefs, and the alpha damn well knew it. _Cocky bastard._ Shuffling nervously, Charles began to change his own clothes as well. “Yeah, it's... it's pretty good.”

After they changed into their pajamas, Charles dragged the blanket and a couple of pillows off the bed and onto the floor. “Another fireplace night?” Erik asked as he tossed a few pillows from the bed and then settled down on the floor next to him.

“Feels like it.” A small smile was sent in his direction while Charles sipped at the hot chocolate in hand. “I still can't believe you don't like marshmallows in your hot chocolate.”

Laughing, Erik moved to lie down on his side and prop himself up onto the pillow beneath him with his elbow. “I've just never been a fan of them. Even my mother doesn't like marshmallows.”

“So it runs in the family then?” The mug was too hot to be held, and so Charles set it down beside himself and slid downward to rest on his pillow beneath the covers, wiggling his toes in the warmth of the fireplace.

“Yes... I suppose it does.” Charles couldn't help gazing at him as Erik's eyes once more became distant.

It was silent between them for a moment before Charles decided he didn't much like it. He would rather hear Erik's low voice. “Tell me about Germany.”

Erik glanced over at him, eyebrows raised. “Well... I was young when we lived there. It wasn't anything like Genosha. The town was very small... and there were a _lot_ of sheep.”

A giggle escaped Charles as he turned onto his side to face Erik. “Sheep? Are you telling me you were a shepherd?” Erik nodded, his lips twisting slightly, and Charles began to laugh. “Oh my god! That is adorable! You never told me how you ended up in America.”

The smile faded from Erik's face, and he cleared his throat. “Well, my father passed away when I was young. Maybe 8 or so. Mother met Sebastian a few months later, and they were married. After we moved here, the first house we lived in was on a farm.”

Lucky decided to join them now and settled down next to Charles, who reached over to pet him. “Is that how you got so strong?”

Erik laughed. “I'm not sure 'strong' is the right word.”

“You just carried me up a staircase and you don't think you're strong?”

The two of them laughed together, and Erik shook his head. “You weigh less than the hay bails I used to handle.”

Charles tilted his head, an unsure expression on his face. “I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment.”

A chuckle slipped through Erik's lips. “I don't know either. But... anyway, that's how we ended up here. Good ol' step-dad.” He paused for a moment as he sighed deeply, fingers tapping on his chest in thought. “I don't know if they love each other anymore. I'm not sure they ever did.”

It was silent again for a few minutes as Charles looked at him with a sadness in his eyes. “Erik?”

The alpha continued to stare up at the ceiling in thought. “Mn?”

“... Does Shaw hurt you?”

Erik seemed alarmed as he turned to look at Charles. He didn't answer at first and turned back to look at the ceiling. “... I don't know what you'd call it,” he replied in a soft voice.

The small confession alone nearly broke Charles' heart as he gazed across the space between them. Gingerly, he reached out to touch Erik's arm. He was unsure exactly what he was trying to do with the gesture other than comfort, but that was good enough for him.

“He slaps me around every once in a while.” Erik's tone had lowered considerably, and he refused to look at Charles as he spoke. “It started off with my mom.” Even if he did, Charles wasn't sure if he could hold the gaze. “At first it was just playful little slaps... and then he started hitting her a little harder whenever she did something wrong.” Charles could barely say anything at the moment, unsure of how to respond. “He'd just throw me out of the way whenever I tried to get between them, so I started doing things to make him pay attention to me instead. Acting out... anything, really. I just wanted him to leave her alone.”

Charles sat up and moved closer to Erik to lie on his chest and hug him tightly. No words were said for a long while between them as they lay there together, holding each other. “I'm so sorry,” Charles whispered finally.

“Don't be,” Erik replied in a low tone as Charles pulled away. “It's not your fault. There's not much anyone can do.”

“Why don't you stay here? You and your mother could live with me. There's plenty of room in the manor for you.”

Erik chuckled at Charles, and there was a twinkle in his eye as if he knew something that Charles didn't. “No... it's probably for the best if we stay where we are.”

Charles was beginning to become frustrated. “I can't just sit here and do nothing knowing that you're living in an environment like that, Erik.”

“It's not your problem to fix, Charles.” He was beginning to clamp up. Charles could tell by his body language alone as he turned away. “Just forget I said anything.”

Charles swallowed hard as he braved setting a hand to Erik's cheek and turning the alpha's jaw to face him. “I want to fix it. I want to fix... every problem you have...”

Eyebrows furled as Erik looked at him. “I don't know what you mean.”

Sighing, Charles stroked the edge of Erik's jaw affectionately. “Are you really that stupid?” he whispered, his eyes settled on Erik's lips.

Erik swallowed hard as he took Charles' hand in his and brought it to rest against his chest. “Charles...” It sounded like a plea, as if he were asking for this to stop... but Charles couldn't let that happen, not when they were so close.

Charles leaned down to place a kiss against his lips. It was brief, only a second or two long. As he pulled away, Erik's eyes opened slowly and he gazed up at Charles for a moment. His hand lifted to the back of Charles' neck to pull him back down into a kiss. This one was different than the one they'd had before on the rooftop at Angel's house. That one had been sloppy with no real feeling behind it, but this one...

Charles could feel his heart beat in his chest as Erik kissed him. The alpha's fingers were threaded into his chestnut hair, refusing to let him escape (although it's not as if Charles had a mind of going anywhere at the moment). A soft moan escaped him, causing him to blush a darker shade than he already was. Erik's tongue begged entrance to his mouth gentle, and Charles parted his lips to allow it.

Somehow between all of this, Charles had ended up on his back in the dark with only the fireplace illuminating them, and Erik moved between his legs with a hand running up his thigh suggestively. Charles was beginning to grow rather nervous. Erik was a magnificent kisser, but Charles wondering if he himself was as well. He wondered where this was going to lead but all sense left him as Erik began to grind against him. Charles brought his arms up to wrap around Erik's neck, deepening the kiss as their hips rocked together. “Erik,” he whispered affectionately as the alpha pulled away, burying his nose in Charles' neck to inhale his scent with hands exploring his body.

Fingers hooked beneath Erik's shirt, and Charles pulled it over his head quickly with hands eager to touch the sculpted muscles beneath as they joined lips once more. A low growl sounded in Erik's throat as he rutted against Charles, who released a small whine as he felt inclined to submit to Erik's every whim. “I need you,” Charles heard himself whisper as his hips bucked upwards. Erik nearly ripped the pajama pants off of him at the small request, and following them were Charles' boxer briefs. Sitting up, he removed Charles' shirt, which left the omega completely bare and vulnerable beneath him.

Erik kissed his neck gently where the omega's glands released his scent strongest, inhaling deeply. “I love the way you smell,” he whispered as he pulled away to remove his own bottoms. Charles watched with half-lidded eyes, hands eager to accept Erik back into them as he lay there, waiting.

Part of him couldn't believe this was actually happening, even as Erik's arms scooped him up and lifted Charles onto his lap. He never even considered this a real world possibility, not even then as it happened before him.

Next thing he knew, Charles was on his knees and Erik was positioning himself behind him. “Wait, wait,” Charles said frantically, sitting up slightly as he turned to look at Erik.

“What is it?” Erik whispered as he cupped Charles' face and placed a kiss on his lips. “What's wrong?”

Charles opened his mouth to say something as he turned to face Erik once more. “... I...” He bit his lip, unsure of how to explain the concerns he had. Some alphas were known for losing control during mating and hurting their omegas without meaning to, and Charles had to admit that it was a very real fear of his based solely on Erik's strength alone.

Erik chuckled softly and stroked the omega's hair affectionately. “I'll be gentle... I promise,” he whispered, as if reading Charles' mind. He nodded, and Erik lay him down gently on his back with a soft kiss. Taking his member in hand, Erik readied himself, and Charles gasped lightly as the end of it pressed at his entrance. Erik was able to show amazing restraint as he stopped and locked eyes with Charles. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked hesitantly.

Charles squirmed beneath him, as if it would help slide Erik inside of his already slick entrance. “Yes, god, _please_... Just... fuck me!” At his request, Erik steadied and began to slide inside of him. The both of them groaned in pleasure together as he thrust in completely, his cock stretching Charles' hole and reaching all the way up into the secret opening of Charles' inner vagina. Erik panted, biting his lip so hard it seemed he would start bleeding any moment. “Oh my god!” Charles whispered in amazement, his fingers gripping onto the alpha's shoulders tightly as he moaned through small pants.

This was nothing like the toys he had used in his heats. They were suitable to get him through the waves of need, of course, but he had never felt anything quite like a real alpha's cock before. The pleasure engulfed him completely as he was stretched and filled entirely. It was complete and utter euphoria as Erik's member brushed up against the most sensitive spot inside of him.

“Yes!” Charles called out with his back arching as Erik thrust into him, his fingers digging into Charles' hips to hold him still as he growled lowly in his throat. Charles felt the need to please him, to do whatever it took to make Erik feel pleasure. His hips rocked in rhythm with Erik as he moaned, and already Charles was coming to a peak from pleasure. He could feel Erik's knot inflating as they moved together as one.

“Erik,” he whined softly as Charles drew closer to orgasm. The waves of pleasure that filled him were coming closer and closer together as Erik's rhythm quickened. The knot inside of him was beginning to stretch him almost painfully, and Erik was coming closer and closer to orgasm judging by his slowly escalating groans of pleasure. “Erik, wait, please—Erik, I'm going to—AHH!” As Charles was sent over the edge, spurts of cum dripped from his cock onto his abdomen, and just a few moments later, the knot at the base of Erik's cock inflated completely as he released a growl of pleasure. Charles gasped audibly and cried out as Erik's teeth sunk into his neck as the warm sensation filled him from Erik's seed. His fingers dug deeply into Charles' hips, causing the omega to cry out in a painful pleasure as the waves of orgasm continued to ripple through his body. He was still moaning as Erik leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

Something had happened... something instinctual, but Charles wasn't entirely sure of what it was. The bite that Erik had just laid into his skin—it meant something but the omega's foggy mind was too orgasm-addled to remember much at the moment other than the waves of pleasure that were growing weaker but still racked him to the core. But as Charles came down from the high of euphoria, it dawned on him... they were knotted. They should have talked about this before. They should have talked about children and bonding and knotting. And the bite—

 _Oh my god_ , Charles thought as he stared up at Erik through half-lidded eyes, adoration reflecting in them. _He soulbonded us._

The two of them collapsed together awkward with Erik lying on top of him. It would be a bit before the knot deflated, but they would deal with that when it came time. Charles swallowed as he reached up to stroke the side of Erik's face and pull him into a soft kiss. “...I love you,” he whispered in the dark.

Erik was gazing down at him with an expression that Charles had trouble reading as the shadows danced across his face. It took him a moment, but Erik placed another kiss against his lips and replied in a whisper, “I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY, FINALLY. LOTS OF FLUFF FOLLOWED BY SMUT. I am such garbage when it comes to writing smut and I'm so, so sorry you had to read that, lolol. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. ♥  
> Disclaimer: That was not Charles in heat.


	9. After The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are revealed on Christmas Eve.

Charles paced nervously across his bedroom as he held the ringing phone to his ear. Lucky lay on the rug watching him walk about in a near state of panic. The sound of the shower could be heard in the background as Raven's voice sounded over the small speaker. “Hello?”

“Raven!” Charles cried frantically in a quiet voice, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I need your help.”

“What? What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I'm fine, I just—I... I don't know what to do. Erik and I kinda of... _you know_... last night... and he didn't—“ While he paused, Charles made pulling motions with his hands, as if she was able to see them.

She gasped in excitement. “You mated? Finally?! Oh my god, Charles, I'm so happy for you!”

Charles' head shook as he quickly replied, “No, no, no, no, no, Raven. It was sort of unexpected and, well, he... he knotted.”

There was silence for a moment. “... _Oh_.”

“I don't know what to do,” Charles whispered as his hands ran through his hair. “We haven't discussed it yet but—” He breathed another exasperated sigh while rubbing his forehead anxiously.

“They have morning-after pills at the store. Do you want me to pick some up for you?”

“Yes. Please, yes. I can't... I'm not ready for...”

“I know, Charles. I know. I'll swing by in a little bit.”

Relief washed over his face as his shoulders slumped. “Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Raven.”

Raven laughed. "I'll see you soon."

“Who was that?” Charles jumped at the sound of Erik's voice and turned to see him standing in the doorway of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets still littered here and there across his chest and arms. His hair was messy and damp.

Charles couldn't help gazing at him in admiration a moment as a blush crept upon his cheeks. It took him a moment to remember that he belonged to the alpha standing there with his powerful arms and strong chest and mysterious blue eyes that Charles loved so dearly. His mind wandered momentarily to the night they'd spent together, how Erik had pleased him and made him feel whole, how he'd been filled so completely. The thoughts lit a small flame of desire once more in his belly but he tried to fight it and answer the question Erik had asked. “Oh, that... That was Raven.” He smiled nervously.

Erik crossed the room and took Charles' face in his hands, planting a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I'm sorry,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“I had no control... and I can tell you're worried about the consequences.” Erik brushed some hair from Charles' forehead and ran his fingers through his dark locks.

Closing his eyes with a small hum of approval, Charles gave a small laugh. “It's alright. Raven's... bringing some morning-after pills for me.” Suddenly he felt a wave of sadness sweep through his body but somehow he was able to tell that it did not belong to him. It wasn't his emotion—it was Erik's. He could tell by the look that flooded his eyes momentarily, and Charles was astonished. It never occurred to him they'd be able to feel each other's emotions upon being bonded together. Very little was known about soulbonds and how each pair of alpha and omega would react to them. “Erik...?”

There was a hint of a smile that tugged at the corner of his lips but it was faint. “Yes?”

“Are you... Do you...” Charles felt like a whirlwind of emotions. What was the matter with him? It was difficult to think straight as he stared up at his alpha. “Do you... want... children?”

Erik laughed softly. “Well, yes. Eventually... but I think it's best we wait. I know how much your education and career means to you. Having children may prove difficult if you want to go to college or a university."

Charles nodded his head, and a smile grew on his face that he could hardly fight. He wondered if Erik knew what it meant to hear him say that, that Charles' wants and needs would be put before his own. Of course, he felt partly selfish... but Erik had reassured him that it was alright.

Erik continued to ready himself for the day as Charles whistled softly on his way out the bedroom door. Lucky followed him down the staircase to the front door and the two of them made their way outside. As the lab leapt and bounded through the snow, Charles sat on the front steps a long while in thought while waiting for Raven to arrive. It was mind-boggling to think that he was finally bonded (not just bonded but _soul_ bonded) to an alpha, and that that alpha was Erik. It seemed too surreal, everything that had happened just in the past couple of days, as Charles replayed it all in his mind. Erik was a dream come true. He was strong, intelligent, witty, kind, a _wonderful_ lover (and quite well-endowed)—everything that Charles had ever wanted in a mate. So why couldn't he shake the feeling that something was wrong? Part of Erik had retreated since they'd bonded, and Charles was having difficulty discerning what exactly had happened to cause this. Erik was still trying to hide something from him, and it unnerved him slightly. They would have to talk after Raven left.

When finally the white Blazer made its way onto the road toward the manor, Charles released a sigh in relief. Lucky barked as he ran alongside the car at a safe distance. Raven waved at him in excitement as she smiled and pulled up to the front door. “Charles!” she called as she ran to him, nearly faceplanting in the snow on her way to hug him tightly with Lucky whining for attention beside her. “Wow, you smell so different! I never even thought about how bonding would change your scent.” Her hand stroked the dog's head as he licked her.

Charles laughed softly, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “Is it... bad?”

“No! No, not at all. It's just a little different is all. It smells really good. Oh! Here's what you asked for.” She handed him the small package of _Plan B_ and turned to Lucky. “Hey, _hey_. Sit.” Upon his obedience, she smiled and pet his head once more. “Good boy.”

Charles breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he mumbled as he hugged her tightly. “Thank you so much.”

“Anything for you,” she replied with a smile. Her gaze shifted behind Charles and her smile widened. “Hi, Erik.”

Charles turned to see him leaning against the doorway with arms folded as he tucked the pills into his coat pocket. He wore the same outfit he had when he arrived.

Erik nodded in greeting with a faint smile. “Raven. Enjoying the snow?”

“Yes! Winter is my favorite season,” she replied, smiling. “Which reminds me—Christmas.” Raven turned back to Charles. “Hank and I have been talking with Angel and we were thinking we should all spend Christmas together.”

Charles' eyes lit up as he beamed at her. “Oh, I'd love that! We could have it here and everyone can spend the night! I think my mother's old Christmas tree is still in the attic but we'll have to buy some stockings.”

"I can do that!" she exclaimed. "Don't worry about decorations. Angel said she'd take care of them. Is it okay with you if we use the kitchen here to cook breakfast on Christmas Day?”

“Yes! Oh god, yes. And we should have a dinner on Christmas Eve. We could have turkey with gravy, potatoes, desserts...”

“Awesome! Hank and I can get everything for food. And Charles, I did want to talk to you about... well, Azazel.”

Erik straightened in Charles' peripheral vision and he gave a small chuckle. “What about him? Does Angel want him to come?”

“Yes,” she replied nervously. “I told her I'd ask how you felt, and now that we plan on having it here...”

A wave of distaste came to him from Erik's direction, and Charles glanced at him for a moment. “It's alright. I don't want Angel to be alone on Christmas.”

Raven smiled and wrapped her arms around him in a firm hug. “You're a sweetheart, Charles. Oh, and I forgot to tell you.” She moved away, backwards to the running car behind her. “I guess we're not having school again before the break so, no exams! Yay! I'll come by in a few days with Angel to put up decorations!” As she opened the driver-side door, she winked at Erik. “You can help with the lights.”

“Raven,” Erik called. “Might I ask a favor?”

She stopped before climbing into the car, flipping some blonde hair from her eyes. “Yeah?”

“Would you mind if I asked for a ride home?”

“No, not at all! I needed to see Angel anyway. Come on, hop in!”

Charles turned to him with an expression of confusion as Erik approached and set a hand on his shoulder. “My mother will be missing me,” he whispered while placing a kiss against Charles' forehead.

Charles, realizing how selfish he'd been, nodded his head and squeezed Erik tightly. He was sure to take a long inhale of the scent emitted from his alpha's neck before letting go, savoring the smell of it. “I love you.”

They kissed softly, and Erik smiled down at him. “And I you,” he replied before he pulled away. “Don't miss me too much.” With that, Erik backed away and climbed into the passenger seat.

Charles waved to the both of them as they disappeared down the driveway. Sighing heavily, Charles tucked his hands into his pockets and turned to head into the house. “Come on, Lucky...” As he closed the door behind them, it finally dawned on Charles just how empty the manor was. After the couple of days that he and Erik had spent together, he couldn't help feeling lonely as he pulled his snow-covered boots off and left them by the door to walk up to his bedroom. Erik's scent still lingered in the air, and when Charles fell onto his bed, he discovered it was still strong on the bedding as well as he inhaled deeply.

The small package of pills was taken out of his pocket, and Charles turned it over and over in his hands. Part of him wanted to throw it in the garbage. That part of him wanted to abandon everything and begin a family with Erik. It seemed like the right thing to do, but... the other part of him knew that he shouldn't. Erik said _eventually_ , and they were only high school students now. They had the rest of their lives to spend together and raise children. Perhaps after they were officially wedded and Charles had earned his degree, they could finally start a family. The indecision was killing him, so Charles tossed it away toward the foot of the bed. He could decide later.

Sighing, Charles turned to look at Lucky, who sat beside him with his head resting atop the bed with what appeared to be a sad expression. He slid slowly off the side of the bed and, scooting over, he put an arm around the dog, who licked his cheek. “It's alright... He'll be back soon.” Charles wasn't sure who he was trying to comfort more: the dog or himself.

  
  


\--

  
  


Christmas Eve finally came, and Hank and Raven were busy piling presents into the back of their car as the engine ran. “Hurry, beastie, we're late!” Raven cried in excitement.

Hank huffed a laugh as he loaded the last box into the blazer and fixed the Santa hat atop his head. “I'm a-gettin'!” he replied and closed the back of the car before climbing into the driver's seat. “Are we still picking up Erik?” he asked as he warmed his hands in front of the warm air coming from the vents.

“Yeah,” Raven replied as she tightened her coat around herself. “Brrrrr! It's freezing!”

“You locked the door, right?”

“Yes,” she replied, breathing into her cold hands. “Did you call your parents?”

“Yes, I did,” he replied while backing out of the driveway. “Wished them a merry Christmas from both of us.”

“Good.”

Their fingers laced together, and the drive up the hill to the Heights was quiet between them as Christmas music played. After getting lost for a few moments, they were finally able to find the house with _SHAW_ across the mailbox and a silver Acura parked out front. Raven climbed out of the car as she said in a cheery tone, “I'll be right back! Hope he can fit in the back seat.”

Raven was able to hear voices coming through the open front window as she approached the front door. As she lifted her hand to knock, she paused upon catching part of the conversation. “... so proud of you for going through with it.” It was Erik's step-father, and whatever he meant by that didn't sit well with Raven. Something told her to listen, and instead of knocking she stood to eavesdrop, leaning towards the window.

“Does he suspect anything?” the step-father asked.

“No,” Erik's low voice replied sharply.

“Good. Let's keep it that way. Although the soulbond wasn't part of the plan, I guess it can be overlooked.”

Erik didn't reply, and Raven's stomach sank in the momentary silence as the protective part of her flared. They were talking about Charles... and it didn't sound good.

“This isn't right, Sebastian,” Erik's mother cut in. “These are a person's feelings he is playing with.” 

“This is for the good of our family. Remember that. Our lives will be so much easier when you finish this, Erik.”

The horn from the Blazer sounded, nearly scaring Raven half to death as she jumped out of her skin. She made a wide, exaggerated gesture with her hand for Hank to stop, who looked rather confused.

“Sounds like your friends are here. Now go on to your Christmas party. Get him to say yes and we can continue this conversation later.”

She hid behind one of the columns, waiting as the front door opened and slammed shut. As Erik came into view, she grabbed him from behind and slammed him against the column opposite them. “What the _hell_ was all that about?” she hissed with her hands fisted in the lapels of his jacket. “What are you doing to Charles?”

Erik looked surprised as he stared down at her, his mouth open as he tried to form words. “I-It's not—”

“Oh my god,” she whispered as she released him, stepping backwards with her mouth hanging open. “The money. You bonded with him to get to his money?”

“Raven, I can explain—”

Her hand lifted and she smacked him hard against the cheek. Erik stood there a moment, lifting a hand to cradle his already swelling jaw as he turned back to her. “Stay away from him,” she hissed as she pointed at him. “Don't _ever_ come near him again.”

Erik remained where he was, his expression unreadable in the dark as she turned and stormed back across the yard. She knew the betrayal she felt was nothing compared to the pain that Charles was going to feel when she told him what she'd just heard. “Let's go,” Raven ordered as she fastened her seat belt and turned off the radio.

“Where's Erik?” Hank's small voice asked, addled by confusion.

“He's not coming!” she barked and turned to glare at his form that was now sitting on the front steps of the house.

Hank took this as a very obvious sign that she didn't want to talk about what had just happened and put the car into drive, continuing on his way to Charles' house. He swallowed hard and hoped that whatever had happened wasn't as bad as it seemed... because it seemed bad. Hank had never seen Raven hit anyone in her life.

As they arrived to the manor, they were greeted by Lucky while Logan stood from the porch where he put out his cigarette. “Took ya long enough,” he muttered. Raven said nothing as she stormed past him and into the house, bumping into Logan. “What's her problem?” he called loud enough for her to hear before she slammed the door shut.

“I don't know... Something happened between her and Erik,” Hank replied in a timid voice.

Logan scoffed and began helping carrying in the presents to the Christmas tree in the main hall.

After removing her coat, scarf and gloves, Raven straightened her sweater and swallowed hard as she entered the kitchen. “Where's Charles?”

“He's in his room,” Angel replied with a strained voice as she pulled the turkey from the oven and set it on the counter. “Just in time! The turkey just finished.” She looked past Raven through the doorway to see Hank and Logan carrying in armfuls of presents. “Where's Erik?”

“He couldn't make it,” she replied sharply. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Sure... we need some tomatoes for the salad,” Angel replied, eyeing her.

In silence, she retrieved tomatoes from the fridge and began slicing them in the corner of the kitchen.

Charles emerged from his bedroom adjusting his red sweater and leaned against the railing, looking down into the main hall. A smile grew on his face as he hurried to descend the stairs. “Where's Erik?”

Hank set down the last group of presents underneath the tree and wiped his hands. “You'll have to talk to Raven,” he replied with uncertainty. “She's in the kitchen.”

Charles' heart sank in his chest, the smile fading from his face. “Okay... thanks.” He moved past Logan, who adjusted the presents to fit them around the tree.

“Raven?” he asked as he poked his head into the kitchen. “Where's Erik?”

She stiffened upon hearing his voice and turned to look at him with an expression that Charles had trouble reading. “He didn't make it,” she replied softly, but there was concern lingering in her gaze.

Charles furled his brow. Whatever had happened was something she didn't want to say in front of the others. He opened the door wider and smiled faintly. “Come on, let's talk.” Hesitantly, she set the knife down and wiped her hands on one of the nearby towels before walking with Charles in silence up to his room. Charles shut the door behind them as she wandered over to sit on the bed. “What happened?”

She sighed heavily, her gaze upon the floor. “... I didn't want to tell you tonight,” she began quietly with a hand rubbing her arm nervously. “Not on Christmas Eve.”

Charles' stomach was beginning to knot as he looked at. “What is it? What's happened...?”

It took her a moment to begin as she fidgeted with her fingers. “When Hank and I went to pick up Erik, I overheard a conversation with him and his father.” She paused, and the anticipation was killing Charles as he swallowed hard, waiting for her to continue. Raven sighed and turned to look at Charles with a pained look. “He's using you for your money.”

Charles was taken aback, completely taken off guard as he stared at her. “... What?”

Raven she sighed as she turned away, clearing the hair from her face with both hands. “His dad wants him to marry you for your money.”

Shaking his head, Charles furled his brow as his mind began to race through the interactions they'd had together. “I don't understand... None of this makes any sense.” Part of it did. He could sense Erik's guilt earlier when he assumed Raven's altercation with him had happened. But if he was really after Charles' money... why did he seemed so standoffish when they'd first met? Why did he want nothing to do with Charles? Regret was poisoning every memory they had together—regret for wanting to get to know him at all. The betrayal had wounded him deep, like a knife to the heart, and Charles turned away. He should be crying right now. He should be sobbing and shedding tears for the time they'd spent together... but he couldn't. He was numb.

Raven looked up at him as her eyes welled with tears. “I'm so sorry, Charles.”

“I-I think I'd like to be alone,” he muttered, his eyes staring blankly at the carpet before him.

She sniffled as she stood up from the bed. “Just remember that we love you, Charles,” she whispered, kissing his forehead as she shed a tear before she left.

He had to wipe where her lips had pressed as he was reminded of the way Erik used to do that. The last time he felt this kind of wound in his heart was when he'd lost his mother, and he told himself that was something he never wanted to feel again. Yet here he was, his heart breaking over the one man he thought would love him forever. What a fool he'd been. Still, despite this news, it didn't make sense as he mulled over their many experiences together. For the longest time, Erik had insisted they were friends. He pretended to forget that they'd kissed at the Halloween party. He didn't even want to talk to Charles when they first met. What did this mean?

Charles turned off the light and crossed the room back to his bed, wiping away tears he hadn't realized he'd shed as he climbed under the covers. Despite the silence that filled the room, his mind was loud and racing as he stared up at the moon shining brightly through the windows at him.  _Merry Christmas, Charles_ , he thought dryly as the tears began to flow freely. He pulled out his phone and began to search on Google _how to break a soulbond_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. Oops.


	10. Show Me Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles' earlier indecision has consequences. Logan doesn't take kindly to betrayal.

It was several days later that the doorbell rang while Charles sat alone in his room, gazing out the window with his eyes glazed over. He was feeling unwell. No matter what he did, he always seemed to be on the verge of vomiting. Careful not to upset his stomach, he pushed himself out of the windowsill and shuffled across the room. Although it was nearly noon, he was still in his pajamas and house coat. Depression had begun to swallow him up the past week since Raven had confided in him what she'd heard. Some part of him hoped this was some kind of cruel joke Raven had played on him but Erik's continual silence only confirmed what she'd told him, and every second of it was torture. There were no phone calls, no texts. Nothing.

As he descended the staircase, that same small hopeful part of him hoped that it was Erik standing on his doorstep to explain everything and that they would all go back to normal. When he opened the door, he at least got part of his wish. Charles' stomach tightened immediately when his eyes fell upon Erik standing on his doorstep, and his jaw clenched as he swallowed hard.

Erik looked handsome as always, his hair groomed just the way it always was. He wore a dark turtleneck with his chestnut leather jacket, an outfit that Charles had commented on before that he'd liked. He wondered if Erik had worn it on purpose but he quickly dismissed the thought. “What do you want?” His tone was cold as he narrowed his eyes.

“Charles,” Erik began, and his mouth opened to say something else but it seemed he had trouble putting it into words. “I'm sure Raven told you what happened on Christmas.”

Charles' eyes began to sting with tears but he blinked them away as he shifted his weight, his eyes boring into the alpha before him. “She did.”

Erik's sighed softly. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, fingers running through his hair. “I never meant to hurt you—“

Charles slammed the door in his face as the tears welled up much faster now, and he held a hand over his mouth to hide the sounds of sobs that were trying to escape him. _So it's true_ , he thought as he curled into a ball there on the front steps in the house. Lucky's nails clicked on the hardwood floor as he wandered in from somewhere in the house, sniffing Charles.

“Charles,” Erik called and knocked on the door. “Charles! Please, just let me explain!”

Charles sniffled as his arms were thrown around the dog beside him. “Go away!”

Erik slammed his fist against the door. “Damnit, Charles, it's not what it sounds like!”

“Go _away!_ ” Charles screamed. “You've explained enough!”

“Please, Charles...” There it was again, that awful feeling of guilt. It seemed so much stronger now that Erik was closer. He'd felt this emotion near constantly ever since Christmas from Erik but never at this level. “Charles, I love you.” Charles made no move to answer as he sobbed quietly into Lucky's side. Through the door, he heard Erik sigh heavily, and his heavy footsteps crunched away through the snow.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there on the floor for but as he pushed himself up from the ground, the nausea hit him. He climbed the stairs quickly with Lucky following him and nearly didn't make it to the toilet in his bathroom before vomiting forcefully. With a disgusted groan, he wiped his face with toilet paper and washed his hands in the cool water of the sink. Leaning against the porcelain, his fingers bumped something that made a clattering sound as they fell. In the basin of the bathroom sink now sat two pregnancy tests, both of them with two very visible lines on them. “Oh, Lord,” he whispered, hands covering his face as he breathed a trembling sigh. Charles couldn't do this. He was an emotional wreck. He wasn't sure how far along he was, but he wasn't ready for this. Not by himself. Sniffling, he fished his cell phone out of his housecoat pocket and wiped a few stray tears from his puffy, reddened eyes as it rang against his ear.

“Hello?”

“Raven, I...” He wandered into the bedroom, his eyes blank as he stared at the ground.

“What's wrong, Charles?”

“I... I never took the pills..." His voice cracked, and Charles couldn't speak anymore as his throat tightened and he dropped to his knees with a hand covering his eyes as if in shame.

"Charles, sweetie," she began in an attempt to comfort him.

As he sobbed, Lucky licked him gently. "He can't ever know," he spoke through his tears. "I need your help... I can't have this baby.”

 

-

 

The new year passed and school began again a few days into January. It had been weeks since Charles had last heard from Erik. Of course, he requested to immediately have a change in lab partners, before school had even begun on their first day back from holiday. He couldn't sit next to his _ex_ , let alone collaborate with him on projects. What a dirty word he never thought he'd say. It put a bad taste in his mouth whenever he thought it.

They saw each other in the hall between classes, and each time they did, it was as if Charles' heart broke all over again. Every time he saw Erik's face, every time they locked eyes, he felt this burning desire to just run up to him and ask him why. But he wouldn't do that. He felt it, of course. He felt the guilt that Erik felt every time they saw each other, and it just made him that much angrier. How could he do this, after everything they'd been through? After everything that had happened? It just didn't make sense.

Of course, Charles had become much more withdrawn, even from his friends. He didn't laugh and joke and tease as they ate lunch together day by day. None of them knew of the abortion but Raven, who occasionally glanced in his direction with a saddened look. Charles would only glance longingly at the table where Erik used to sit before they'd met, where he'd moved to spend his lunches again. It was a few days after holiday that Charles next interacted with Erik, but it was not for a reason he expected.

The school was bustling with students eager to leave after the school day had ended. Charles waited by the pillar he always did for Raven, Hank and Logan. Raven ran up to Charles, out of breath as she looked around frantically. “Have you seen Logan?” she asked in an exasperated voice.

Charles shook his head. “No—“

“WHERE IS HE!” a voice roared from down the hall. “Where is that son of a bitch! I'll kill him!” Charles assumed it was Logan that was in a fit of rage because Raven took off in the direction of the yelling. He followed behind her, watching as Logan burst out of the school doors. They hurried outside just in time to see Logan tackle someone.

“Logan!” Charles called as he ran forward as a crowd began to gather. Logan was on top of them, punching them as he held their collar. “Logan, stop!” It didn't take him long to realize that it was Erik he was attacking, and a wave of panic washed over him as he pushed himself forward faster. Erik managed to throw him to the ground and punched him in the jaw but Logan didn't stay down for long. The two of them tumbled, wrestling for the upper hand until finally Logan pinned him. He drew his hand back to hit Erik, who dodged, and Logan's fist was sent directly into the cement, leaving bloody smears as he cried out in pain. “ _Logan!_ ” Charles screamed and grabbed at his leather jacket. “Stop! Please!”

With a frustrated growl, he threw Erik to the ground. “You ever come near him again, I'll kill you,” he hissed breathlessly as he pointed down at Erik before turning to walk away.

Charles was frozen where he was at, glancing between the two of them with Raven by his side. He gazed longingly down at Erik... but eventually he decided to run in the opposite direction towards Logan as Erik picked himself up off the ground. “We'll be right out to the car!” he called to Raven and hurried after the seething alpha. “Logan!” he cried and caught him by the arm. “Why did you do that?”

“ _Because!”_ he shouted as he stopped, and Charles was taken aback at the outburst. “I saw this coming a million miles away. I knew that scumbag was gonna hurt you!”

Sighing softly, his eyes shut momentarily as he swallowed hard. “Come on,” he mumbled, tugging at Logan's non-bloody hand as he glanced over his shoulder in time to catch Erik climbing into his step-father's car. “Let's get you cleaned up.”

Charles sat him down in the bathroom (Logan complied begrudgingly) and locked the deadbolt so no one would bother them. He opened the first aid kit and began removing a few of the items within. “You're too hotheaded for your own good,” he muttered as he poured some rubbing alcohol onto a circular disposable pad. Logan didn't reply as he sat there with knuckles clenched so hard they turned white. Charles lifted his hand and began to wipe away the blood from the scraped knuckles. Logan groaned but held still despite the pain. A moment of silence passed between them as Charles set a gauze pad against the knuckles and began to wrap them. “You didn't have to do that, you know.”

“Yeah, I did,” Logan snapped.

“Why?” Charles demanded as he fastened the wrap with adhesive.

Logan hissed from the pain. “Because,” he began but his anger began to fade as Charles wiped at the alpha's split, bloody lip with an alcohol-soaked pad. It took him a moment to continue. “I can't stand to see you hurt.” Stunned, Charles simply stared at him. Logan's eyes turned to meet his momentarily before he turned away. “He doesn't deserve you; he never did.”

Charles opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Was Logan saying what Charles thought he was? Logan lifted his chin to face Charles again, and the pit of his stomach fluttered slightly when he realized how close they were. His eyes glanced downward to Logan's lips, and he began to lean down. Logan's uninjured hand lifted to brush some hair behind his ear. “It was always you, Charles,” he whispered before pulling him into a kiss as he stood.

As he stood there in stunned silence, it suddenly made sense to Charles. The reason he disliked Erik and sneered at the thought of him, the reason he turned Angel down at the Halloween party, the reason he never looked for another mate after Jean passed—Logan was waiting for Charles. He was flattered as the realization swept over him.

His kiss was different than Erik's. Charles couldn't explain how but it was simply _different_. The way he touched Charles, the way he forced his way into Charles' mouth and held him in a dominating way—it was something he wasn't used to, and Charles submitted to his every commanding touch willingly. Logan pulled away to bite at his neck, which caused Charles to cry out as his hands gripped the alpha's shirt tightly. The sound seemed to affect Logan, because he was suddenly pushing Charles up against the wall roughly with hands pinned to rut against him with a low groan as they kissed.

Logan began to undo his belt quickly with desperation, and Charles followed his lead. His heart was hammering in his chest as the guilt began to fill him, but Charles kissed him eagerly. He needed an alpha's touch to satisfy. His body ached for Erik and didn't know the difference between him and Logan... but his mind did. He shouldn't be doing this. They shouldn't be doing this. But still, Charles' will was too weak to fight him. He was so lonely and so heartbroken, and he needed someone to fill the hole that Erik had left in his heart.

Next thing he knew, he was bent over the counter, and Logan was steadying himself at his entrance. Charles was about to protest, unsure that he was slick enough before the alpha slammed into him from behind, causing Charles to cry out in pain. A hand came over his mouth to silence Charles as Logan thrust deeply into him. He wasn't gentle or passionate like Erik. His movements were hard and fast, and it hurt at first but slowly the pain subsided to a dull ache as the pleasure replaced it. He was moaning shamelessly as Logan's free hand roamed his body, sliding across his skin to feel more of him as he groaned softly. Charles gripped the counter tightly, feeling the waves of pleasure begin to rise to an orgasm. His moans came to a peak, a stream of cum splattering across the floor before him as a tear ran down his cheek.

This was wrong. It was so wrong.

_Erik... I'm sorry._

 


	11. Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years have passed by... and Lucky sniffs out a ghost from the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Beta males are able to bear children in this universe. I didn't realize that wasn't common in fics until recently, and it seems to have caused some confusion.

His eyes opened slowly to the sound of the alarm, and before him lay Logan whose face was illuminated by the glow of the curtains from the rising sun. The sound was quiet at first but began to grow louder before he leaned over Logan to hit the snooze button. A smile warmed his face and Charles leaned down to place a kiss against his forehead. “Logan,” he whispered as he combed fingers through his hair. “Dear... you're going to be late.”

Logan groaned and pressed his face into Charles' bare chest, pushing him back down onto the bed as Charles laughed before lying on top of him. “Tell them I'm dead,” he mumbled with eyes still closed.

Still giggling, Charles nudged him. “Come on, it's time to get up. You can only call in dead so many times.”

With a huff, he groaned and began to stretch. Logan sat up to plant a kiss on Charles' lips and flipped the covers away. “Some day it'll be true,” he mumbled as he rose from the bed stark naked and shuffled to the bathroom. The sound of the shower followed shortly after. Charles sighed as he lay an arm over his eyes.

It had been a long week of work for Logan. His boss had been pushing him hard to ready him for his upcoming promotion, and he was becoming a bit more stressed than usual because of it. It was having some effects on their relationship as Logan became more irritable and didn't seem quite as affectionate as he had been before. Charles tried to understand that it was only because of work but he couldn't help feeling somewhat lonely lately.

There was a groan beside him, and Lucky licked his lips as his tail wagged against the floor. “Morning, pup,” he whispered as he sat up from the bed and set his feet on the floor. Lucky scooted forward as Charles pet his head and inspected the white hairs on his face. “You're looking old this morning.” With a yawn, Charles stood up and began to stretch as he caught his reflection in the mirror before him. “I suppose you are too, aren't you?” he mumbled to himself as his fingers ran across the stubble on his chin. “Logan?” Charles called as turned away from the mirror and began to go through the clothes in the open closet beside the bed.

“Yeah,” he called back from the bathroom.

“Did you pay the rent yesterday?” There was a long pause and Charles gave a small laugh. “I'll take care of it today. Don't worry.”

After Logan kissed him goodbye and left for work, Charles readied himself for the day with a shower and a nice, clean set of clothes. Before exiting the bedroom, he grabbed the engagement ring from the end table and slipped it onto his finger. As he slid on his shoes in the front hallway, Lucky bumped the leash hanging beside him from the coat rack with a whine as his tail wagged. “Alright, alright,” Charles said with a laugh as he reached out to grab it, which triggered even more excitement in Lucky. “But only after we're responsible for the day.”

After donning his gloves, Charles hooked the leash onto Lucky's collar and led him out of the apartment building. The sound of rustling drew his attention and he turned with a smile, waving to the neighbor a couple of doors down. “Charles! Good to see you again!” the beta greeted as he carried grocery bags towards their front door.

“And you! Would you like some help?” Charles asked, stepping forward.

“No! No, it's fine. Ahh—Lucas!”

The beta made a grab for the young boy, no older than 4, who ran out of the front door past him while giggling. “Puppy!”

The lab licked the boy in greeting as the two played for a moment until the beta came to grab the boy with playful growls. “What are you doing, silly boy? You can't just run up to other people's dogs without asking.” His tone was gentle as he chastised his son and hefted him up onto his hip.

“Sorry, Mommy,” the boy replied in a small voice as he curled into his mother's shoulder.

Charles looked at the two of them with a faint smile on his lips. His mind wandered temporarily to his decision as a teenager... What would his life have been like if he'd kept Erik's child? It would be older than the boy before him now (roughly 6 or 7) and would probably have Erik's eyes and his devilish smile. Charles felt his throat tighten at the memories he'd accidentally called to the forefront of his mind and cleared his throat, forcing a faint smile. “We'll have to have dinner together again some time. I loved the casserole you made.”

“Oh, yes! Of course. We're free on Friday if you want to come over,” the beta replied as he headed towards his apartment with the child on his hip.

“I'll check in with Logan and let you know if that works. It was nice seeing you again.” Charles waved goodbye and led Lucky down the stairwell to the car. He sat a moment in the car in thought as Lucky paced the backseat, eager to get going. He hadn't thought about Erik in some time... and part of him wondered where he was and what he'd been doing since high school. Did he have someone, to please him and keep him happy? Charles glanced down to the ring on his finger momentarily before he started the car.

It didn't take long to get a money order for the rent check from the bank. Not nearly long enough as Charles had hoped, so instead of returning directly to the apartment building, he swung by a drive-thru coffee shop to pick up a small cup and headed to the park. His mind was too scrambled and he couldn't think while stuck inside that place. He needed some fresh air and some space to think, and Lucky always loved their time spent there.

As he expected, Lucky began to whine in excitement as he pulled into a parking space. Charles chuckled softly, got out of the car, and let Lucky out of the back. He wiggled as Charles laughed and the two of them headed down the paved pathway together. The blossoms on the many trees had begun to litter on the grass as the crisp wind blew through the branches. The warmth of the sun offset the cold, making it a perfect day for a walk. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as Charles looked up to admire the blue of it and breathe in the scent of spring.

As he was distracted, Lucky jerked forward and Charles made a sound of surprise as the leash slipped from his hands and his coffee went flying. He stumbled from being caught off guard and started after the dog that had begun to run off. “Lucky!” he called. Why wasn't he listening? “Lucky, stop!”

It took him a moment to realize that Lucky wasn't chasing anything like a cat or a squirrel. He was running _toward_ something—or rather, someone. There was a man on a bench beneath the shade of a tree with a book in hand, his back turned to Charles, and as Lucky came to a screeching halt next to him and leapt into his lap to surprise him, Charles stopped. He felt the surprise the man felt, and it hit him square in his chest that heaved as he tried to catch his breath, watching the scene before him. The man was very gentle as he pet Lucky and laughed.

Charles knew that laugh.

“Lucky,” the man said as he ruffled the dog's fur, who licked him excitedly with a tail that wagged nonstop.

His heart was hammering against his chest as he stared. His fight-or-flight instinct was urging him to run but he couldn't move. He couldn't do anything as the man rose from the bench and turned to face him with book in hand. His breath caught in his throat as Charles stared.

“Charles,” Erik said in surprise as their eyes met.

He was older, and much taller and broader in the shoulders than Charles remembered. He looked as if he'd kept in exceptional physical shape, and Charles wondered briefly what he'd been doing for work—very briefly—before his mind came straight back to his first thought: run. But he didn't. He waited there, still out of breath as Erik bent down to pick up Lucky's leash and approach. “I think this belongs to you,” he said in a friendly tone, offering the leash.

Charles swallowed hard and gave a small laugh as he took hold of it in a place that Erik's hand was not touching. “Uhh... Thanks.” He gave a nervous laugh, noticing Erik's gaze flicker to the ring on his finger. The anger and the hurt and the love he'd buried in his heart so long ago was beginning to resurface as Charles cleared his throat. “... It's been a while.”

“Yes, it has.” Erik smiled faintly and gave a nod as he reached down to pet Lucky, who was still begging for his attention. “You look well.”

Charles blushed. “Thank you. As do you. How's life treating you?”

“It's been interesting.” Erik glanced away momentarily. “I'm about to move back to Germany.”

“Germany?” Charles blurted out. He smiled bashfully and continued with a bit more composure. “What's in Germany?”

“My mother,” he replied in a low voice. “She moved back a few years ago after her separation from Sebastian, but since then she's become ill.” A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “But I see you might be doing better than I am for now. Happily married?” Erik gestured to the ring on his finger.

Charles gave a small, humorless laugh. “No—not yet anyway, but soon.”

“Ahh, I see. I'm assuming you and Logan are still going strong together? When's the big day?”

Nodding, Charles played with Lucky's ear. “Yes. Yes, we are. The wedding is in a couple of weeks.”

Erik gave almost a wheezing laugh. “I see. Well, I suppose congratulations are in order.” Charles wondered if Erik was trying as hard as he was to retain his composure and not break down right then and there. “I should probably be on my way, though.” He began to turn away.

Charles didn't want this to end. Despite how their relationship had gone to shit and they hadn't seen each other in nearly 8 years, he wanted to stay in this moment forever. He wanted to beg Erik to stay but he only gave a nod of his head instead. “Thank you. It was... nice seeing you.”

Turning to look over his shoulder at Charles, Erik gave him the first genuine smile he'd since since their days in high school, and Charles felt his heart flutter in his chest. “Likewise,” he replied before walking away.

Charles sat down on the bench where Erik had been and stared at Lucky. “Did that really just happen?” he whispered to the dog. His heartbeat was loud in his ears as he looked up to watch Erik get in his car and drive away. All of their memories began to flash in his mind as he sat there staring at the small pond before him.

It must have been an hour later that he decided he should bring himself out of his nostalgia and drag himself home. The drive there seemed dreadfully long, and after he dropped the rent check off at the apartment manager's office, he felt that he couldn't get inside his apartment fast enough. After removing Lucky's leash, he slipped off his shoes, hung up his jacket and fell backwards onto the bed. Charles exhaled a long sigh as he pulled out his phone and opened his contacts. Scrolling down to a contact under only the letter “E”, he stared at it for a long while in thought as his fingers hovered over the green button. His eyes closed painfully and he turned onto his side, curling the phone against his chest. It's not as if Erik had the same phone number from 8 years ago. What was he thinking?

 


	12. All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Charles argue, and Charles confesses something to Raven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of you were unhappy and confused by the last chapter. I hope this clears things up. I think some of you were confused about Lucas the child in the last chapter as well because he was the beta neighbor's son, not Charles/Logan offspring.

The sound of the front door surprised Charles, and he could hear Logan shuffling around in the kitchen. “You're home early,” Charles called as he closed the book in his lap.

Lucky yelped in pain followed by the sound of scuffling, and Charles was immediately climbing off the bed as Logan shouted, “Damnit, dog! Get out from under my feet!”

“Hey!” Charles called, his eyebrows furling as he ran down the hallway to the dining room, where Lucky paced on the opposite side of the room from Logan anxiously. “Stop yelling at him. It's not as if he does it on purpose; he just likes being close to you.” Charles pet the dog, attempting to soothe him.

Logan growled in frustration. “I've been tripping over that damn dog for the past _year._ One day I'm gonna step on him and it _won't_ be accidental,” he hissed while pointing at Lucky.

Charles glared at Logan as his mouth hung open in disbelief. “Maybe you could watch where you're stepping instead.”

Logan's pack of cigarettes was pulled from his pocket and he lit one up as he began, “Why does he have to live here with us? Raven and Hank have offered to take him while we look for a house. Their kid loves him.”

“Lucky is like a child to me,” Charles replied in a challenging tone as he glared. “If he goes, I go.”

“You know it pisses me off when you threaten to move out.”

“Maybe if you didn't act like such an arse, I wouldn't have to!”

“Damnit, Charles!” Logan slammed his fist down onto the table as he shouted. Silence fell between them in the contentious air.

“I've had enough of this,” Charles muttered as he shook his head before he hurried down the hallway to the front door with Lucky at his heels.

“Charles,” Logan called after him but Charles ignored him as he slipped on his shoes quickly. “Will you just wait for a minute!”

Logan reached out to grab his arm rather hard but Charles pulled out of his grip and slapped him across the face. “Don't touch me!”

Logan looked a whole new level of pissed off but turned away and stormed off down the hall. Charles grabbed his coat, attached a leash to Lucky's collar and slammed the door shut behind him as they left.

Lucky trotted along happily beside Charles and hopped into the back seat with tail still wagging. Charles climbed into the front seat, unsure of his destination for a moment until he decided to pay the Darkholmes a visit. He sighed as he pulled his cell phone out and dialed Raven's number.

“Charles!” she answered in a cheerful tone. “Wow, you're alive! It's been a while.”

He chuckled softly as he drove down the street but the smile on his face was only faint. “Hi, Raven. Are you available for a bit? Maybe we could go on a walk or something?”

“I'd love to.” Her voice quieted as she began speaking to Hank, who Charles assumed sat beside her. “Honey, can you watch Kurt while Charles and I go out?” He heard Hank's soft voice in the background and she thanked him followed by a kiss before returning to the phone call. “Everything alright?”

“I... I don't know,” he replied honestly as he came to a stop sign, glancing in both directions down the seemingly deserted street before crossing it.

“We're heading home from the store right now but I can meet you after we've unloaded everything. I'll meet you at Cessari's in, say, a half hour?”

“Alright,” he replied. “I'll see you there.”

It took only a few moments for Charles to get to the hole-in-the-wall cafe, and he sat in the front seat waiting anxiously as his mind raced.

It had been like this between him and Logan almost every day he came home from work lately, and Charles couldn't tell if it was because of work or because of something else, such as the impending wedding date. At times like this, he couldn't help feeling like it was a sentence instead of a wedding when they had arguments for no reason, and it had only been a year of this. Could he put up with this for the rest of his life? They'd lived together peacefully and rarely argued the first few months, but the more time they spent together, the more contentious their relationship became. Charles began to think perhaps this had all been a mistake. He should have said no to Logan's proposal after their few months of dating and gone back to Oxford to finish his second degree of biophysics like he'd originally planned.

Or was he really just trying to justify not wanting to get married to Logan? Somehow it just didn't seem right. Sure, Charles had known him for a good few years, but he didn't really _know_ Logan. He was still as much of a mystery to Charles as he had been in high school and not any less unfriendly or quarrelsome. The “puppy love” had long since passed, and it was becoming more and more obvious they weren't happy together.

The familiar red Camry pulled up next to him, and Raven smiled over to him from the driver's seat with a wave. He moved Lucky from his back seat to hers and locked his doors before climbing into her car. She hugged him tightly, her arms rubbing his back in a soothing way. The embrace somehow managed to bring him to tears but he swallowed his choked sob and cleared his throat as he pulled away, blinking the moisture from his eyes. “What's going on?” she asked as she backed out of the parking space and began to drive.

Charles sighed heavily. “It's Logan...”

“Did you guys fight about Lucky again?”

“Yes,” he replied, “but it's not just about the dog anymore; it's about everything. He's been so on edge lately and I just can't handle him when he's acting like a damn animal.”

Raven laughed softly. “He's never really been a gentle alpha.”

“No,” Charles replied, his mind drifting to the one he knew to be gentle. “He hasn't been.” Memories flashed quickly through his mind of the way Erik had touched him and kissed him and made love to him. He paused for a moment, contemplating what he was about to say. “Raven, I saw Erik today.”

She was silent for a moment as they cruised down the road next to the lake. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yes,” he replied and gave a small chuckle as he gazed out the window absent-mindedly at the water beside them. “Lucky saw him in the park and ran right up to him. I didn't really have a choice.”

She seemed hesitant for a moment. “He was asking about you a few days ago,” she admitted reluctantly.

Charles turned to look at her, eyebrows furled. “What...? Why? What did he want to know?”

Shrugging her shoulders, she pulled over into a small parking lot beside the lake and put the car into park. “Angel didn't tell us everything but I guess he's been friends with Azazel for a while now. She said he was over at their house the other day and started asking about how you were and things like that.”

Charles felt his chest warm, and something close to giddiness began rising up in him at the thought of Erik asking about him, but he fought it down as the both of them got out of the car. “He's moving back to Germany,” Charles began as he let Lucky out of the back seat and began walking him with Raven towards the trail. “His mother's ill.”

“I heard about that.” Raven tucked her hands into her pockets but not without first linking their arms together.

Sighing, Charles rubbed his forehead in anxiousness. “I don't know what to do. I want to talk to him but I'm feeling so conflicted about so many things and I don't know if I should.”

“Charles.” She grabbed his arm to get his attention and make him look at her. “Erik hurt you. There's a reason you haven't spoken to him in 8 years.”

“Yes, well, I was in Oxford for 6 of them,” he mumbled.

Raven sighed. “That doesn't matter. What matters is that what he did wasn't right.”

He began to shake his head. “I've had a long time to reflect on it, Raven, and it makes absolutely no sense. When we met, he wanted nothing to do with me. When we became friends, he made sure in subtle ways that I knew were only friends, and then suddenly he wants me for my money?” Charles shook his head, gazing out over the lake. “His step-father had to have put him up to it.”

“Charles, the fact is that he did it, that he was planning to go through with it.”

Sighing, Charles fell silent, and for a few moments, the sounds of the the waves lapping at the shore and the leaves rustling in the trees and click of Raven's heels were all that they heard for a while—interrupted momentarily as a speed-biker sped past them and nearly ran over Lucky, peddling madly as he left a trail scent of alpha.

“Asshole!” Raven shouted after him.

Charles laughed softly at her reaction and cleared his throat. “Raven, there's something I never told you about Erik,” he mumbled softly.

“What?”

“Do you remember the day I called you to tell you we bonded?”

“Yes,” she replied, looking at him suspiciously.

“We didn't just bond that night.” He paused, swallowing hard. “We soulbonded.”

Raven stopped in her tracks and stared at him. “Charles, why didn't you tell me?” she whispered, stunned. Eyes watering, his gaze fell to the floor in response, and her arms wrapped around him tightly. “Oh, my god...” She squeezed him tightly and Charles let out a choked sob. “My brave little omega,” she whispered, rubbing his back. “Maybe there's... still a way to fix this.” She groaned in frustration as she pulled away. “But then—there's Logan. I'm assuming you've mated?” Raven cringed.

“Yes,” he replied shamefully as he sniffled. “A few times.”

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I had no idea... This definitely complicates things.” Raven seemed at a loss of what to say as they stood there until she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led him back towards the car. “Come on. Let's go talk to Azazel.”

“About what?” Charles asked, sniffling while wiping a few stray tears away. Lucky seemed displeased they were going back the way he came, as he'd already sniffed his way around this part of the lake trail.

She glanced over at him. “Erik.”

  
  


-

  
  


“You soulbonded?” Angel stared at the two of them across the coffee table, a mug in her hands. “Oh my god.” Azazel's fingers drummed on the arm rest of the couch as he glanced between Raven and Charles, and Angel turned to slap him on the arm. “You knew about this, didn't you! I know Erik tells you everything!”

“Ow!” Azazel rubbed his arm. “Of course I did. I thought you all knew.”

“Do you think we'd let him run off to Oxford or get with Logan if we did?” Raven asked as she leaned forward in an aggressive manner.

He shrugged his shoulders while pursing his lips. “It's not my business what you do.”

Charles set a hand on her arm before Raven could snap back at him, and it seemed to calm her down as she sighed. “Where is he?”

“Probably packing,” he snapped in reply with a shrug. “He's supposed to leave on Saturday.”

“That doesn't give us much time,” Raven thought aloud, pinching the bridge of her nose again. “I can't believe this...”

“Hey! Put that down!” Angel called to the children across the room. She got up from the couch to begin chastising them before she turned on the TV and came back to seat herself on the couch once more.

Charles was fidgeting with the buttons on his coat with his thoughts on Erik, as if calling out to him. He began thinking back to the day that he'd come over to Charles' home and tried to explain himself. How _stupid_ he'd been to turn him away. The hormones had made him a mess, he remembered that much—but he could have at least let Erik tell him what had happened.

“So you've been without your soulbond for almost 8 years?” Angel asked and sipped at the coffee in her hands. Charles nodded his head in silence but didn't lift his eyes from one of the water ring stains on the coffee table. (Part of him wondered momentarily if Erik's cup had left the stain.) He couldn't bear the sympathetic looks he knew they would be giving him. “Wow, you and Erik both... I don't know how you've been able to do it. I can't stand being away from him for more than a few days.” Angel combed her fingers through Azazel's hair affectionately, whose throat rumbled lowly in approval. “Even though he _is_ a jerk sometimes.”

Raven sighed as she locked eyes with Azazel. “I can't let Charles go through with this without knowing that Erik isn't actually some asshole gold-digger.”

Azazel cocked an eyebrow, and his gaze shifted to Charles. “I don't think people usually soulbond over _money_ , especially not Erik.” Charles was relieved to hear this. It only confirmed what he'd gradually begun to believe. “But, you know, your mate can tell when you're being unfaithful in a soulbond.”

This comment surprised him, and his stomach twisted in guilt as he realized something. Erik knew. If this were true, he knew about Logan before he'd even asked. _Oh god_ , Charles thought as his shoulders slumped, and he dropped his face into his hands. It dawned on him that he'd never even gotten a hint of a thought that Erik was with another. Was he really on his own this whole time? Charles sighed a shaky breath. Erik had suffered more than he'd ever imagined.

“We'll think of something,” Raven assured him as she squeezed his hand.

“What about Logan?” Angel's eyebrows were drawn together in concern as she tapped the ceramic mug with her fingers in thought.

“I'll take care of it,” Charles said in a soft voice.

“Why don't you do that tomorrow?” Angel set her mug down as she stood up and plopped down next to Charles on the couch, squeezing an arm around him. “Let's go to that club downtown, the new one. What's it called? Stark's? A night out might help you clear your head, and maybe we can think of something while we're out.”

Charles shrugged as he glanced at her. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"She's right," Raven encouraged as she gave him a friendly smile. "Come on, it'll be fun."

Azazel looked displeased. "Am I right in guessing I get the kids tonight?"

 


	13. Tik Tok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinks all around.

Music blared from the speakers as the dance floor pulsed to its rhythm. The lights flashed across the crowd as they moved about in their drunken stupor. The club smelled of various sexes and perfumes, and it was almost nauseating at first as the two omegas and alpha entered together. Raven and Angel looked stunning as always in their beautiful dresses and heels, but Charles wore nothing fancy; the same pair of jeans, button-down shirt and vest he'd been wearing earlier in the day. The two of them tried to get him to dance at first but he laughed before politely declining their offer and taking a seat at one of the few empty tables. _Maybe eventually_.

There were so many people, and there was so much going on. It was almost overwhelming. It'd been a long time since Charles had been anywhere like this. The last place he could remember was nearby Oxford but it wasn't nearly as new or flashy. His eyes wandered around to look over the many faces that passed by until someone sat across from him. He couldn't tell what gender the male was but Charles assumed alpha by the way he held himself in a very confident manner. He seemed to be in his mid thirties and was dressed in a sharp suit, and had sleek black hair and a goatee. “Not a lot of people come to a club to be a wallflower. What brings you here, kid?” he asked with a sly smile.

Charles gave a dry laugh. “It's a long story.”

The man shrugged as he sipped from the martini glass in his hand. “Any way to make it a short story?”

Struggling to find the words to say, he shook his head and responded with the best answer he could: “Alpha problems.”

The stranger laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Isn't it always?” Charles couldn't help the very distinct feeling of déjà-vu that washed over him. Had he had this conversation before...? “You know, the best way to get over those is a nice, cold drink or five.” He winked at Charles as he finished his drink.

“Tony!” someone called, and the man turned away to look at the woman that approached the table. “Have you seen Clint?”

The man named Tony pulled the toothpick out of his martini glass and ate the olive off of it. “Probably upstairs. You know how he is with heights.”

Charles leaned back in his seat as he stared up in surprise. “Ms. Romanoff?”

His old teacher gasped as a smile spread across her face and leaned down to hug him. “Charles! How are you! It's been so long.”

“Yes, it has,” he smiled back at her. She looked beautiful as always under the flashing lights, her red hair short and curled. Her wardrobe consisted of a form-fitting black cocktail dress without straps and a bolero covering her shoulders. “Are you still at Genosha High?”

“No, I haven't been teaching for almost 3 years. I heard you came back from Oxford not too long ago!”

“Oxford, huh?” Tony asked, an eyebrow raised as he smirked. “What did you major in?”

“I earned a doctorate in genetics and planned on going back for a degree in biophysics but... well, life happened.” His eyes glanced down to the ring on his finger subconsciously as he gave a shrug, chuckling.

“I always knew you were my smartest student.” Ms. Romanoff laughed and gave him a wink.

“Sounds like,” Tony commented, seeming to be impressed as he stood up from the table. “Well, this has been fun but I've got a club to run and a Legolas to find. Charles, it's been a pleasure. See ya later, kid.” Tony gave him another wink, and with that, he disappeared into the crowd.

Ms. Romanoff turned to follow him as she gave a small wave. “It was nice seeing you again!”

Charles returned her wave and smile faintly. “Bye,” he mumbled to himself.

His eyebrows furled, and Charles mulled over the conversation he'd just had and then consequently the past few years. _Life happened_. That's what he'd just said... but school _had_ been his life.

Charles had always had a very clear plan of what he'd intended to do with his life: Degrees in genetics, biophysics and then eventually psychology before moving on to be a professor and then possibly considering the idea of starting a family. He wanted to show omegas that they were not destined to simply be baby factories under an alpha's thumb. They were just as capable as betas and alphas.

What happened to change his mind? Did he give up, simply because an alpha showed interest in him? Had his nature as an omega interfered finally and caused him to give up and become what everyone knew he was meant for? He remembered Logan saying many times he didn't want Charles going back to school. “You already have a doctorate,” he'd reason. “You don't need any more school.” Charles had been flattered at the time at how Logan seemed to be complimenting him and eventually fought him less and less on the subject. Now as his fingers clenched, he suddenly felt a deep resentment for not only Logan but for himself. He couldn't believe he'd allowed this to happen. What would his father think?

His thoughts wandered to Erik. They'd discussed this as teenagers before briefly, and Erik seemed fine with the idea of waiting for a family in favor of Charles' education and career. A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lip as he recalled. Part of Charles wondered if he still felt the same about it now, if he would want Charles to go back to university and finish what he'd started out to complete. He sighed softly, a hand lifting to run through his hair before his eyes lifted from the table his gaze had been fixed on, remembering where he was.

Raven and Angel were still on the dancefloor but still he didn't feel like joining them. Instead, he pushed himself up from the table and made his way to the bar. As he took a seat, the bartender flashed a smile at him. She was a beautiful omega female with long blonde hair and a seductive smile. She looked to be in her early 30's. “What can I get for you, sweetheart?” she asked, leaning onto the counter.

“4 rail tequila shots?” Charles asked, barely loud enough for her to hear.

Her eyebrows raised and she gave a laugh. “Going for the blackout tonight, huh?” Before pouring anything, the bartender pressed the rims of the shot glasses with salt. A bottle of blue liquid was retrieved, and she lined up the four shot glasses and filled them all before placing them in front of him with a small plate of limes. “Enjoy!”

Charles had a moment of hesitation while eyeing the limes. Part of him didn't want to drink away his pain and instead wanted to deal with it like a responsible adult. The other part of him wanted to get knackered. He'd never had tequila but had heard it was strong and would make him as carefree as one could get. Maybe that's what he needed right now to chase away the thoughts plaguing his mind as well as the ache waving through his body. It wasn't necessarily painful in the physical sense—more so on a psychological scale instead—but it seemed to radiate through him from his core. He'd forgotten what this racking feeling was like of aching for his alpha. It seemed having so much distance between them while in England made it much easier to train himself to ignore it but now that he'd seen Erik again, the feeling had returned with more intensity than he'd anticipated.

“Everything alright, hun?” the bartender asked, glancing down to the shots. She was probably judging him, assuming he didn't know what tequila was or how to drink it—but Charles had been to enough parties and seen how it was done.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, turning one of the shot glasses absent-mindedly.

“ _Emma!”_ Tony called from the other side of the bar, giving a slight wave of his hand.

She tapped the counter before him in a parting gesture and Charles watched her go before turning back to the glasses before him. “Fuck it,” he muttered as he threw all caution to the wind and took one of the shots, biting the lemon to alleviate the roughness of the alcohol on his throat with a small groan. He took all four of them consecutively without any hesitation, his face nearly in a permanent cringe while doing so. People standing around him cheered him on and clapped when he finished, slamming the final shot glass down onto the counter.

When Charles set down a few bills on the counter to pay, Emma slid them back towards him. "Tony says it's on the house--whatever you want." She smiled at him, and Charles glanced down the bar in surprise to where he'd been, but the club owner was nowhere to be seen. Tony had no idea what a godsend he was. Tonight, Charles didn't want to care about anything. Not Erik, not Logan, not anything.

Charles was going to get shitfaced.

 


	14. Give Me Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik gets a phone call.

Eyebrows furled as the male roused from sleep at the sound of the vibrating phone on the nightstand. Turning over in the near pitch-black of his room, he picked it up to look at the screen. The number was unfamiliar; probably a telemarketer or a spam call. Indecision caused his finger to hover over the red icon as he squinted down at the screen but instead he pressed the green and swiped it across the screen before lifting it to his ear. “Hello?” he answered in a sleepy voice, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand.

“Erik! Hah! Hi, Erik. How are you? We were just talking about you!” Music was audible in the background, as well as a crowd of people. “Wow, I can't believe you still have this number. Isn't that so strange?”

Erik froze as the voice from the other side of the line laughed. Whoever it was sounded rather inebriated. Groaning, he turned over to turn the lamp on at his bedside and rubbed his tired eyes. “Charles...? Is that you?”

“I need a ride! I don't wanna be here anymore, and no one will take me home. Well, no one can _drive_ me home.” There was a female cackling in the background, and Charles laughed with her. Raven, maybe?

“Wha—Slow down. Where are you?” He pushed himself up from the bed and flipped the covers off of himself as he thought, _And why aren't you calling Logan?_

“I'm at Stark's! This place is _great_. You should come here! You should come here and get me.”

Erik sighed, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous habit he'd maintained since he was young. His heart was racing. He couldn't really put into words how much he'd wanted this same phone call for the past 6 years but it meant little to him now because of Charles' current state of inebriation. He wasn't thinking clearly, and it was probably the only reason he called. Still, the sound of his voice was pleasing to hear, even if he was slurring. “... Charles, I'm not sure that's a good idea.”

“Please come get me, Erik. I want to talk to you. I want to see you.” Charles' speech was terribly slurred. “Please?”

He paused for a long moment, chewing on his lip. “... Alright. I'll be there in a few minutes. Just stay right there.”

After ending the call, Erik stared at the dark screen for a moment before he lay the phone down. He shouldn't be doing this. He wondered if this had anything to do with them seeing each other earlier in the day. Charles had a life to live, and Erik didn't want to be the one to fuck that up. If he was happier with Logan, so be it. He should call a cab company to get him instead... but recalling Charles' begging was seriously beginning to change his mind. With a sigh, he knew he couldn't make this decision on his own, and so he made a call to the only person he knew would be able to help.

“What?” a male voice answered, seeming to be in an irritable mood.

“I'm sorry to bother you this late...” Erik considered himself a very proud alpha, and it took his pride a moment to allow him to continue. “It's about Charles.”

“Ahh, Christ... What about him?” Azazel asked in an annoyed tone.

Erik huffed a sigh. “I saw him today at the park.”

“I heard. I don't think that has anything to do with why you're calling me now.” His voice became far away, as if he'd moved the phone away from his ear. “What are you doing out of bed? … In a minute.”

Erik's hand lifted to rub his eyes with his finger and thumb. “He just called me asking me to pick him up from a bar and it sounds like he's had a few.”

Azazel was laughing, as if it came as no surprise. “I thought that might happen. So what? This is your chance. Are you just gonna throw that away?”

“His wedding is in less than a month.” Despite his excuses, Erik leaned down to grab a shirt lying on the floor and pulled it over his head. His decision had already been made. He wasn't sure why he was even on the phone anymore. “Logan would lose his shit if he found out Charles called me.”

“Look, pal, I love Logan as a brother but he treats Charles like shit. I guess he grabbed him pretty rough today.” Erik's teeth gritted as anger flooded him at the thought of anyone handling Charles aggressively, a low growl sounding in his throat. Azazel paused, sounding as if he were inhaling a cigarette. “They just don't belong together. I'm surprised they even got engaged but I guess Charles got cold feet. For good reason too. Him and his pal _Raven_ _—_ ” Her name was spoken with distaste. “—were over here today asking about you. Guess nobody knew about the soulbond, huh?”

“Why didn't you tell me?” he demanded as he pulled on a pair of jeans, fastening his belt.

“I'm not your gossip girl, and it's not my business.”

“Goddamnit,” he muttered as he pulled on one of his shoes and began to lace it, holding the phone against his shoulder with his cheek.

“I'm pretty sure all that matters right now is that Charles is trying to come back to you.” Briefly, Erik thought he heard a child's voice over other end of the phone. “Go back to bed, kiddo. I'll bring you some water in a minute.”

He pulled on a leather jacket and stopped at the front door with his hand on the doorknob. “This is a bad idea.”

“I think if he's calling you wanting to talk, he's probably ready to hear what you have to say, even if he _is_ shitfaced.”

“I'll... call you tomorrow and let you know what happens,” he muttered while exiting his apartment, turning to lock the door. Charles may have been ready... but was Erik?

“Don't you flake on him,” Azazel warned. “Angel will never shut up about it if you do.” Erik chuckled bitterly as he descended the stairs from his apartment and ended the call, climbing into his black car.

  


-

  


The bass of the music from the club could be heard down the street with the windows up. All hope of finding Charles quickly left him as he pulled into a parking space about a block away. There was a crowd of people standing outside that he began to scan through, but he was pleasantly surprised that he was able to find Charles so quickly. He was standing with Raven and Angel, who laughed and chattered with him. Did they know Charles had called him? Raven was an alpha, he recalled, which may cause issues and end up in a brawl if she wanted him to leave. Erik sat quietly with indecision stalling him as he watched.

It had been so long since they'd really seen each other. The run-in at the park was unexpected and Erik had been completely unprepared for it. Charles had been beautiful as always in the spring sunlight but his wide doe eyes had a look of fear about that them had rubbed Erik the wrong way. Charles had never looked at him like that before. But sitting here now, watching him with a smile on his face as he lived his life—maybe this was enough. Maybe it was enough to drive away and never see him again, if this was the last memory he had of him.

But Erik knew it wasn't. It would never be enough.

Erik climbed out of the car and shut the door behind himself, waiting for a car to pass before he continued on across the street. As he approached, Charles' eyes lit up upon seeing him. “Erik!” he called as he moved away from his friends and hurried forward. (Erik had to admit he was surprised Charles didn't trip.) They collided in an embraced with a momentum that nearly knocked Erik backwards. In instinct, his arms wrapped around Charles protectively, firmly as his eyes fell closed and he inhaled the familiar scent that filled the air around him.

There was a weight that had seemed to linger in his bones for years that suddenly lifted, and quite abruptly, the world was very different. The colors were brighter, the sights and sounds and smells of the world clearer, his heart lighter as it beat in his chest now with purpose even if only for that moment alone.

“You came for me,” Charles whispered, as if amazed.

Erik pulled away slightly and smiled down at him before glancing up at Raven and Angel, who approached. He expected demands of the meaning of his presence but the two of them said nothing. His eyebrows raised, surprise hinting at his expression as he glanced between them. “Raven,” he greeted with a nod of his head before his eyes shifted to the omega. “Angel.”

“Been a while, Erik,” Raven replied in a standoffish tone, a hand lifting to set against her hip.

“Yes, it has.” He gave a faint smile before looking down at Charles who now stood beside to him, beaming. “How much have you had tonight?”

Angel shrugged her shoulders. “More than he should've,” she replied, and all three of them laughed.

“Will you be needing a ride as well? I'm parked just up the street.”

“Nah, we're gonna stay a little longer,” Angel responded and gave a laugh as she waved a hand dismissively. “Besides, I live in the opposite direction.”

Erik gave a nod of understanding. “You ladies enjoy your night.” He turned away and, with hands tucked into his pockets, he walked with Charles back to the car.

“Where do you need to go?” Erik asked as he opened the passenger door.

“Home,” Charles replied as he flopped into the seat. Erik gave a sigh as he shut the door and walked around the car to climb in. It may turn out to be a bit difficult in getting an address out of him. “This is such a nice car,” Charles commented as he looked around, running his hands across the dashboard. “I like it better than my car.”

Erik glanced behind himself before pulling out onto the street and driving into the city. “Charles, where are we going?”

“I don't know,” he replied, as if mentally removed from the situation entirely as he gave a small laugh and reached out to touch Erik's hand. “I missed you, you know.”

Erik clenched his jaw and swallowed thickly as his hand tightened on the gear shift. “I know,” he mumbled in response as they began to cross the bridge into the heart of the city.

“Didn't you miss me?” he asked in a somewhat hurt tone, turning in his seat to face Erik with eyes glossed over.

Sighing softly, Erik hesitated. They shouldn't be having this conversation now. It should be when Charles was himself, sober. Or perhaps they shouldn't have it at all. “Of course I did,” he answered finally and changed the subject by asking again quickly, “Where do you live, Charles?”

“I don't want to go home,” he replied unexpectedly, his gaze turning to look out at the lake.

 _Shit_ , Erik thought. This wasn't going to turn out well. Charles' scent (along with a few faint others that had lingered on his clothes) was filling his car, forcing him to breathe it in, and he was either too stupid or too distracted to roll down the windows to help it escape. It had been too long. His mind flashed with memories and thoughts he'd had over the past few years, especially to the ones of Logan with his beautiful omega. These ones in particular nearly forced him to move a hand onto Charles' leg in a show of dominance but he resisted. Charles was _his_ omega. It disturbed him that Logan had ever had his hands on Charles, but he kept these thoughts to himself. Erik was the one that had ruined their relationship, and he had no right to demand things of Charles, despite how much he wanted to.

“I picked you up to take you home. Where will you go if not there?”

“I want to go home with _you_ ,” Charles replied. “I just wanted to see you and—”

“You can't,” he interrupted in a low voice despite every dark corner of his mind screaming to take him. Charles was begging to come home with him, and it was driving him nearly mad. “Logan... is your alpha.” It disgusted him to say those words. It was against his very nature to admit something like that, but it was for Charles. Erik couldn't deface Charles' integrity no matter how much either of them desired it.

Charles gave a humorless laugh. “We both know that's not true.”

“Charles, _we can't_.” Erik was beginning to grow frustrated as his hand tightened on the steering wheel. _Stop tormenting me_ , he thought as his eyebrows drew together in distress.

“Don't be stupid. Yes we can! Logan isn't my alpha; he never has been. It's always been you. Didn't you feel that back there?” Charles asked, pointing behind them in what Erik assumed to be a reference to the moment of embrace they'd shared. “ _That_ is what happens when you've been away too long from your soulbond.”

Erik didn't respond... but of course he felt it. He had been waiting 8 years to feel like the world didn't seem so absolutely grey and dull and intolerable. “You're engaged to be married. I won't be the one to ruin that for you.”

“I can't marry him!” Charles shouted, and Erik was taken aback at the anger that dripped from ever word. “He's not the one I'm meant to be with.”

Erik's eyebrows drew together, turmoil sweeping over him as they pulled up to a yellow light that shortly after turned red. “Charles, please...”

“I can't,” Charles whispered as a pained expression crossed his face. “Erik, I love you.”

Erik felt fingers upon his chin turning him to face Charles, who'd begun to lean towards him. Erik swallowed hard, butterflies fluttering about in his stomach as he looked hesitantly into Charles' eyes. _I shouldn't_. His heart seemed to clench with anticipation as Charles leaned further towards him. _But by god I will._

His breath seemed to escape him when their lips met, and the world fell away to leave only him and Charles as his eyes fell closed. Charles was just as soft and just as submissive as he remembered. Erik's hands both left the steering wheel to cup Charles' cheeks and pull him into a deeper kiss as his tongue was given entrance immediately upon begging for it. Charles tasted of alcohol but his mouth was still sweet. Erik was filled with need, a low growl rumbling in his throat. The soft whine that Charles gave in response nearly drove him mad.

It wasn't even a moment later that Erik was ripped back to reality when they began rolling backwards slightly. He pulled away breathlessly as his foot secured itself on the break again, remembering that they were still in the car. The light before them was green now, and Erik licked his lips to savor the taste as he continued on driving, cursing himself for letting his guard down.

Charles giggled for a moment or two but he stopped suddenly and said, “I think I'm going to be sick.”

Erik pulled over quickly, and Charles opened the door to lean out of the car. The quiet of the darkened neighborhood was disrupted rather unpleasantly by the sound of Charles retching and the splatter of vomit. Erik grimaced, digging napkins from his glovebox that he handed over quickly. “Here.”

Charles groaned and coughed into one of the napkins as he settled back into the seat and closed the door, using it to wipe his face with a groan of disgust. He leaned back into the seat, his eyes falling closed as he breathed a sigh. It took Erik a moment of sitting in silence to realize that he'd fallen asleep—or rather, passed out—and he groaned in frustration as he dropped his head against the steering wheel while trying to recall why he thought this had been a good idea in the first place.

 


	15. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles and Erik have a much-needed discussion.

The first thing that Charles' foggy brain could register upon waking was the headache that throbbed in his temples. He groaned as he rubbed one of them, cracking open his eyes and immediately regretting it as it caused his headache to worsen. When his foggy eyes focused, he realized that he did not recognize the bed that he lay in but he did recognize the strong scent that lingered in the sheets. _Erik?_ He turned onto his back to look around the room but the alpha was nowhere to be seen.

Charles released a sigh of relief when his gaze settled on a bottle of Advil and a water bottle that sat on the bedside table. When he leaned forward and picked up the painkillers, his eyes landed on something that he did not expect to see and thought maybe he'd imagined it for a moment. Blinking and rubbing his eyes, he confirmed that he was looking at the pencil. The blue pencil with yellow stars, now faded and barely visible that Charles had given him so many years ago. It was hard to believe Erik had held onto it all these years. Perhaps it was just a trinket, maybe not even the same pencil.

After taking the painkillers and the water to quench his thirst, Charles sat up from the bed slowly in case he was nauseous and stretched his aching muscles. Charles could remember being at the club but he had no recollection of how he'd ended up there in Erik's bed, and it concerned him. As he looked down at himself, Charles gasped softly. He was shirtless, and he wore only a pair of what he assumed to be Erik's pajama pants—green and blue plaid. His own clothes lay on a chair on the other side of the bed. _Oh god,_ he thought as he sat straight up in bed and stared at them. _Did we mate last night...?_

His first thought was of Logan, and he sunk back into the bed with a hand set to his forehead in disbelief as the guilt washed over him. His mind immediately tried to justify what had happened, asking if he really needed to feel guilty about mating with his soulbond. _Of course you do, you arsehole. You're in a committed relationship with another alpha_. This was all so complicated. He could barely keep track of what was right and wrong anymore. Charles hated that this was what it had come to.

But today had to be the day he broke it off. He had always loved Logan dearly as a friend, but it took some thinking the night before to realize that their relationship had no depth to it. They never talked— _really talked—_ about anything, and there were the issues Charles had pondered on last night... He wasn't in love with Logan, and he never had been.

Charles was distracted from his thoughts as a delicious smell wafted into the room through door that stood slightly ajar, and he realized he could hear the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen. Eggs, maybe? The bed creaked as he rose to his feet slowly and groaned while stretching his back and arms once more. As he turned to walk around the bed to his clothes, he had to stop.

Above the mahogany headboard on the wall hung a painting, one that Charles knew well. He stared as his eyes took in the details of its swirling yellow stars and its darkened mount. Tears nearly came to his eyes as he admired the copy of _Starry, Starry Night_ mounted on the wall _,_ and his gaze shifted to the pencil on the night stand. He knew now it was the same one. They were reminders, he realized. Reminders of Charles.

Charles dressed himself and made his way down the hall that opened up into the living room. The ottoman and sofa were nice, as was the entertainment center that held the large flatscreen TV. Taking a few steps to the left, he entered the kitchen quietly and leaned against the doorway. Erik was bustling about with his back to Charles, preparing eggs and popping bread into the toaster and starting a coffee pot almost all at once. Charles couldn't help the smile that grew on his face as he watched the domestic view before him. Is this what it would've been like to wake up every morning with him?

“Good morning,” Charles greeted as he wandered towards the island in the middle of the room.

Erik knocked over the salt accidentally and turned back to straighten it before he faced Charles. His hands wiped on his pants as if in anxiousness as he smiled faintly. “Feeling better?”

Shrugging, Charles gave a small laugh as his hand set onto the counter. “The headache's improved slightly, thank you.”

“Of course,” Erik replied as he nodded slightly, picking up one of the two mugs on the counter. “Coffee?”

Charles slid into a bar stool at the island. “I'd love some. Thank you.”

After pouring the cup, Erik slid it across the counter to him. “Cream? Sugar?”

“Both please.” Charles smiled at him and, once given the cream and sugar along with a spoon, began to add them to his drink. After stirring, he didn't immediately take a drink from it. Instead, his fingers circled across the rim of the mug as he stared down at it in thought. “Erik... Did we mate last night?”

“No,” Erik replied in a soft voice as he scooped the scrambled eggs up from the pan and placed them onto a plate with some buttered toast. “You vomited and got it on your clothes, so I washed them for you.”

Despite his cheeks flushing with heat as he laughed nervously, relief washed over him. He didn't want to have something like that weighing on his or Erik's shoulders, and Charles selfishly hoped that the next time they mated (if ever), he wouldn't be blackout drunk.

Erik turned to pick up the plate he'd prepared and slid it onto the island in front of Charles with a fork. “Eat up. You'll feel better.”

Charles lifted the mug to his lips, cooled it with his breath and then took a sip before skewering a piece of egg. “So what happens now?” he asked before taking a bite. The eggs were good, light and fluffy with a pinch of salt and just the right amount of cheese.

His eyes flickered upwards to Erik, who folded his arms while leaning against the counter and shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose that depends on you.”

“I want us to start over,” he replied, setting the fork down. “I want us to start fresh but... I want to know about us, about what happened before.” Erik sighed as he turned away and leaned his hands onto the counter as his head hung, looking as if he'd known this conversation would come eventually. Charles didn't know how to take his silence. He panicked that Erik was closing off, that he was becoming what he had been when they first met, and immediately Charles was moving off the bar stool and across the kitchen towards him. “Erik?”

“What about Logan, Charles? Have you even spoken to him yet?” He glanced over momentarily as Charles came to stand by his side before taking another sip of coffee.

“Not about you,” he mumbled shamefully. _He's probably worried about me_ , Charles thought as he thumbed his phone absent-mindedly. “I think he knows already, but I will. He needs to know the truth.”

“You never told him about the soulbond,” Erik said with realization, his chin lifting.

“Of course not,” Charles replied. “Logan would've been heartbroken.” Erik shot him a look, and guilt settled in his gut once more. _You know what I meant_ , he thought.

Erik took a drink of his coffee again and muttered dryly, “I can imagine.”

Charles sighed. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean...” He trailed off, not sure how to finish his apology. “I'd still like to know what happened between us when we were younger. What Raven told me—was it true?”

Erik paused for a long moment. Charles wasn't sure he was going to respond and opened his mouth to say something until Erik started speaking. “It was Shaw,” he began quietly, avoiding Charles' gaze. “He knew there was an omega my age in town whose parents had deceased and left him their fortune. He wanted me to woo you and eventually marry you so that he would have access to the funds. Shaw tried to convince me it was to pay for my mother's medical bills but I knew him better than that. He never cared for her and would have only taken the money and run.”

Charles sighed softly, his gaze softening as he listened. “Erik, I didn't know... If you'd only've told me, I would've—“

“I didn't want to use you,” he interrupted with frustration as he turned to meet Charles' gaze. “That's the point of all of this. I never wanted to use you.”

“Asking for a friend's help is different than using someone.”

Erik sighed bitterly. “You don't understand,” he muttered.

This irritated Charles as his subconscious took it as his intelligence being insulted. “What don't I understand? It's as simple as asking. Even if we weren't bonded at all, you could've asked for my help!”

“I didn't want you to know!” Erik shouted.

“Know about what, Erik!” Charles yelled back.

Erik's hand rubbed at the back of his neck. “I didn't want you to look at me with that pitiful look when you found out. I didn't want you to know that my step-father abused us and that my mother was dying and that my father abandoned us before I was born. I'm just another statistic, Charles, and I didn't want you to see me as a project with problems to fix.”

“Is that what you think of me?” Charles asked, taken aback. “That all I would do is see you as a project?”

“I know that's what you would do, what you tried to do,” Erik replied. “You love everyone so much that you take the broken and the rejected under your wing and try to fix their problems for them.”

“Did you ever think that maybe I just wanted to be with you? You're right, I wanted to fix your problems—but not because of some superiority complex. I wanted to fix them because I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to be able to live your life without worry for yours or your mother's safety.”

“I don't need you to take care of me,” Erik countered, his pride obviously hurt.

“Erik, are you listening to yourself?” Charles asked as his face twisted in confusion and hurt.

“I hear myself just fine,” he replied, his expression hardening.

It was unclear why but that line alone stung Charles more than he'd expected, and his first reaction was to shield his hurt with anger. “Just tell me one thing, Erik. One thing,” Charles demanded as his voice raised. “Did you ever really love me?”

“ _Of course_ I loved you!” Erik shook his head as he sighed in frustration. “Why do you think I pushed you away for so long? Why do you think I insisted we were just friends, that I had no recollection of our kiss? I didn't want any of this for you.” He turned to Charles and cupped his cheeks gently. “And still, no matter how hard I tried to push you away, you came to me with your beautiful mind and your soft heart, and I couldn't turn you away anymore, even if I tried.” Erik sighed as his thumbs stroked his cheeks, his gaze as well as his tone softening. “You were so perfect in all of your wit and intelligence, and I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to _use_ you. You were so precious to me and then...” He trailed off, stepping away as a hand running through his hair in frustration.

“And then _what?”_ Charles begged as he turned Erik to face him. “Just tell me.”

Erik was silent again for a moment. “He told me if I didn't do it,” he began, rubbing at his forehead in frustration as he paused, “my mother wouldn't get the help she needed. That she was going to die, and it would be my fault. And then he found out we'd soulbonded and—” Erik growled lowly. “I didn't mean to soulbond with you... It just... _happened_.”

“Oh, Erik...” Charles sighed as he approached and set a hand against Erik's arm. He hadn't realized the weight that had been placed on his shoulders, and Charles' hate for Shaw only grew for what he did to Erik and what he'd put him through. “Even if we never soulbonded, you only had to ask,” he whispered.

“I saw the letters we got from the insurance companies. What would I have said? 'Charles, I know we've only been friends three months but will you spend your fortune on my mother's cancer treatment?'”

“And I would have gladly done it!” Charles countered, frowning. “A life is worth saving no matter the cost.”

Erik's face seemed to turn red with rage as he turned on Charles. “That's not what you were thinking when you took the life of my child!”

Charles stiffened beneath his cold gaze as a wave of shock flashed through him. “What...?”

“Why didn't you tell me?” he demanded.

“How did you—”

“I was right there, right at your doorstep. I came to you to explain everything. I wouldn't have cared if you'd turned me away and not listened to a word I had to say, but you _didn't even tell me_.”

Charles was too stunned to respond, taking a step back as his head shook. How did Erik know? Raven was the only person that ever knew about his abortion, and to this day, she'd sworn that she hadn't told a soul. If she didn't say anything, how did he know?

Erik heaved a sigh, trying to calm himself as he gripped the counter. “It was my child too, Charles. If you'd only given me a chance...” His eyes were brimming with tears.

“Don't you dare,” he hissed as the tears stung his own eyes. “Don't you _dare_ make me feel guilty for what I did. As far as I knew, the father of my child was never going to be in my life again and I didn't want to bring a child into this world and make it think its parents didn't love it by putting it up for adoption. _I_ was a child, Erik. I wasn't ready!.”

“I would have been there with you every step of the way!” Erik shouted.

“Do you think if I had the chance that I wouldn't take back what I did? Hindsight is 20/20, Erik! Of course I would have kept the child if I'd known everything. Of course I would have listened to you. _Of course_ I would have helped you, but you hid everything from me from the beginning!” Charles sniffled, wiping away a stray tear.

“So it's my fault?” Erik asked defensively.

“Stop acting like you're so goddamn perfect!” Charles shouted as he backed away, the tears spilling over and staining his cheeks. “You don't know what it was like...”

Erik was silent while Charles sobbed, his eyes covered with one of his hands as he gripped the counter for support. He hated Erik for doing this to him, forcing him to remember all the awful guilt that he'd felt for years afterward, but it seemed so much worse now. _Erik, please... Please don't do this to me_ , he thought. _I didn't do it to hurt you._

Through his hazy eyesight, Charles could see Erik lift a hand toward him and he cowered from the touch, stepping away from him. “Don't,” he whispered.

“Charles,” Erik began, pausing a moment. “I'm sorry. I...” He sighed, and the two of them stood there without a word spoken as Charles cried. After a moment, Erik's strong arms wrapped around his omega and held him tightly, even as Charles struggled against him.

Charles eventually surrendered to the embrace, and his fingers clutched Erik's shirt as the pain washed over him. _I'm sorry._ Charles wasn't sure who he was apologizing to—Erik or the child or even himself. All of them deserved apologies but Charles couldn't bring himself to speak. He felt like he was suffocating, and not because of the arms around him. He needed air, and he needed space to think.

“I have to go,” he whispered as he pushed away from Erik, wiping his tears.

“Go where?” Erik asked, releasing him and following.

“Please, Erik—just don't,” Charles begged with a hand held up as he headed to the front door. “I need to be alone.”

Erik caught him by the wrist. “Charles..." He hesitated. "I love you.”

Charles' lip quivered as he looked over at Erik silently through blurred vision as hurt filled his eyes, but he said nothing in return. Erik didn't stop him as he slipped his hand away and walked through the door out into the world.

 


	16. Goodbye To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Break-ups always end in tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, how many months since my last update? I'm so sorry it's been so long. I lost muse for this fic for a while because I made a lot of my readers unhappy with it, but I suddenly have the urge to finish it. My goal is to have this finished by the new year, but there are only a couple of chapters left to be written so I should have it done sooner. Here we go!

The sun had climbed high in the sky by the time he pulled into his parking space at the apartment building he'd called home for the past few months. A quick look at the clock told him it was nearing noon, but since he didn't know what time he'd left Erik's apartment, he wasn't sure how long he'd been driving around.

A heavy sigh left his lips as he dropped his head back against his headrest, and his eyes closed. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to end things with Logan. He knew they didn't belong together, and he knew they weren't happy together, but the idea of letting go of the only stable relationship in his life (if you could call it that) was frightening. He wasn't attending school and had no job, and although he still kept in contact with his old friends from high school, they didn't see each other nearly as much as they used to. They had families and responsibilities. What did Charles have?

Charles was afraid. He was afraid of being lonely. He had been so lonely growing up after his parents passed, and the feeling still haunted him now and then. He never wanted to feel like that again, but things had to come to an end with Logan, even if Erik no longer wanted him. But what _if_ Erik didn't want him anymore? He had to admit it was a ridiculous notion to think that they would just resume their relationship as if nothing had changed after all this time. They had both done things to hurt each other in the past, and there needed to be some kind of reconciliation before they could even think about starting another relationship together.

Another thing that scared him was that he didn't even know Erik anymore. The alpha could have turned into someone completely different for all Charles knew. The little time they'd spent together in Erik's kitchen, he didn't seem that much different, but it had only been a few minutes of discussion. So why was he doing this, trading in the life he had for something completely unknown? The soulbond between them couldn't be his only excuse. It was a stupid one, to just give into one's nature like that. Granted, a soulbond was a very important part of a human being's life.

One could live without a soulbond, but it would be a long and miserable life. Bonds were designed by nature to keep mated couples together, which meant that going against that nature was nigh impossible. Soulbonds were a different story entirely. Unlike a regular bond, they were impossible to break, and Charles remembered that now. He remembered the ache he felt deep within his core that had set in only days after things ended with Erik so long ago. He'd learned to fight it over the years and had all but forgotten about it by the time he'd come back from Oxford, but not without its consequences. The taste of food lacked in richness and flavor. The colors in the world around him had been so dull. He didn't enjoy things as he used to. But maybe he hadn't noticed because his focuses had been on studying.

Things were different now. Charles hardly recognized the color of his car. The sky had never seemed so blue, the grass so green. Life was beautiful again, and Charles could not deny that he had missed everything about it. But as he sat there reflecting on how different things were compared to only days before, already that uncomfortable ache was beginning to rise within him to see Erik. It'd only been a few hours! He hated this. A stupid mistake they made from when they were teenagers would affect their lives forever. None of this was fair. None of it.

Reaching forward with a trembling hand, Charles exhaled sharply as he turned the car off and pulled the keys from the ignition. Trying to find some way to stall, he fished his phone out of his pocket. _How is Lucky?_ he sent via text to Raven as he worked up the nerve to go inside, staring at the windows of the place that used to be home. A moment or two later, his phone vibrated in hand, and Charles looked down to open the picture of Kurt sleeping atop the golden retriever. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip momentarily, and with a deep inhale, Charles slipped his phone into his coat pocket and climbed out of the car.

The walk to the front door was agonizing, because he knew what lay in wait for him inside his old home. They were going to fight, and it wasn't going to be pretty. They'd had some pretty bad fights before but it would nothing compared to this. Dread filled him as he climbed the stairs and before he knew it, he was standing before the front door. Charles wanted to run away. He didn't want to face his responsibilities anymore. He didn't want to do this... but he had to.

His hand reached forward to turn the doorknob, and he found it unlocked. Swinging it open, he waited a moment before crossing the threshold and closing the door behind him.

“Charles?” Logan sounded concerned as he called out from back in the bedroom.

He didn't respond as he stopped in the hallway upon seeing Logan turn the corner and approach. He was frozen with fear. Fear of what was about to happen, fear of what Logan might say or do.

“Jesus, I've been trying to call you! Where have you been!”

Still, Charles did not respond as his head hung low. His heart was hammering in his chest as his hands became clammy. Why was this so hard?

Logan's eyebrows drew together as he looked at the omega. “ _Charles!_ Are you going to answer me?”

Charles swallowed hard. Here it was. Here was the moment he had been dreading. His eyes closed as he inhaled a trembling breath and finally said the words he should have said a long time ago. “I'm leaving.”

Logan stopped in his tracks only a few feet away, stunned. “What?”

“I'm moving back to the manor with Lucky,” he responded as he struggled to meet Logan's gaze. “I'm sorry, Logan. I can't marry you.”

The alpha's eyes were filled with several emotions at once: anger, confusion, distress. He was taken aback as he set a hand against the wall to support himself, but his fingers curled into a fist as he dropped his head. Silence hung in the air between them as his knuckles began to turn white. “I heard Erik was in town,” he muttered as he turned away, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

Charles would be lying if he said he wasn't hurt by the jab made. “This isn't about Erik—”

“Oh, bull-fucking- _SHIT_ it isn't!” Logan shouted, turning his head to Charles slightly but refusing to look him in the eye. “I knew you'd run off to be with that fuck-up if you ever saw him again! I should have just beat his ass as soon as he came back to town!”

Charles' teeth clenched from the comment. His hands were trembling from both fear and anger, but he paused a moment before he began to speak again. He had to try to remain level-headed or things would only escalate. “Logan,” he began, pausing a moment as he contemplated his words. “Can you really look me in the eye and tell me you're happy? That we're happy?”

“Yes!” Logan shouted immediately as he pushed off the wall. “Yes, I'm happy with you!”

“No, you're not!” Charles countered, his eyebrows drawing together. “Stop lying to yourself, Logan. We are not happy.”

“This is such bullshit, Charles, and you know it. We _were_ happy!”

“No, we weren't!” he yelled, surprising Logan with the intensity of his words as he gestured between the two of them. “Look at us! This is all that we do.”

Logan's shoulders raised in a shrug. “Because that's just what we do!”

“That's not what I want to do! I'm tired, Logan! I'm tired of fighting. I can't do it anymore!” Charles sighed softly, running a hand down his face in frustration. “I'm sorry, Logan. I can't.”

Logan's arms folded again across his chest as he shook his head with a deep sigh. “I knew this would happen. I fucking knew it...”

“There's something you should know about Erik,” Charles began. There was a small quiver in his voice as he spoke.

“Yeah, and what's that?” Logan replied in a sharp tone.

Swallowed hard, Charles looked down at his fingers that he fiddled with. His throat was tight, almost as if he were choking. The words he was about to speak were going to change their lives forever, and it frightened him that he wasn't sure in what way. “Erik and I have been soulbonded since the winter before graduation.”

Logan's face went blank, and his eyes drifted to the ground. He did not respond as he stood there for a few moments, and there was a long silence that followed. The both of them seemed scared to break it as they stood there opposite each other in the hallway. It was truly setting in that this was the end.

A hand lifted to run over Logan's face and rub at his jaw in an attempt to hide the fact that he was wiping tears away as he sniffled. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, taking Charles by surprise as his voice cracked. “I'm so sorry...” Logan's shoulders began to tremble as he lifted a hand to cover his eyes.

Charles' own eyes were beginning to tear up as he watched, and he couldn't keep himself from sweeping forward to put his arms around the alpha. As much as he knew they did not belong together, he still cared for Logan deeply. They had known each other for years, and though they didn't know much about each other, there was a deep caring there that neither of them could ignore.

Logan returned the embrace eagerly with a firm hug as he sobbed softly. “Logan, please...” Charles tried to sound strong, but his own voice was not as firm as he'd hoped. “Please don't cry.” Charles was brought closer against Logan's chest as he sobbed. His eyes fell shut as he sighed, allowing a few loose tears to escape down his cheeks as his fingers curled into the material of Logan's shirt. _None of this is your fault._

This was awful. Charles had never expected this reaction, and part of him wished he could take back what he said. In the short time they had been together, he'd never seen Logan cry. Not once. Being the reason that he was breaking down into tears now was one of the worst things that Charles felt he'd ever done to anyone. But there was a relief that had come with finally telling him the truth. He felt as if a weight had lifted off his shoulders.

It wasn't until a few moments later that Logan had calmed enough to pull back and wipe his tears away. “You should go,” he uttered, rubbing at his eyes as he turned away.

Bowing his head in agreement as his eyes drifted to the ground, Charles set a hand on his arm before Logan could turn away. “Logan...” The alpha didn't respond, and he didn't meet Charles' gaze. Charles sighed and dropped his hand away. “I'll come by for my things later...”

The only response that Charles received was a faint nod before Logan turned away and headed back down the hallway from where he'd come, sniffling as he went.

Charles turned to walk towards the door as he slipped the engagement ring off of his finger. It made a small _clink_ as he set it upon the end-table nearby, and he gazed at it for a moment, reminiscing. They'd had their bad times, but there was no denying they'd had some good times. Sadness filled Charles as he looked down at the ring, but he said nothing more as he turned to leave.

With a trembling hand, Charles opened the door and stepped out into the afternoon air as he swallowed hard. What he felt now was difficult to describe. He felt relieved. That didn't mean he wasn't still frightened of what the future held, but he was relieved that things hadn't escalated into a full-blown argument. He was relieved that Logan might be able to find someone that would make him happy. He was relieved that he was free.

With a heavy breath exhaled, Charles glanced up into the sky and ran his fingers through his hair. Slowly, he began to make his way down the stairs and towards the parking lot, but as he went, the rustle of the trees in the light wind surrounding the property reminded him that he had someone that he needed to talk to...

 


	17. My Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend reveals something long since passed.

The familiar long drive up the gravel back road made Charles feel like he'd gone through a time machine. The grass on either side and the hedges all looked exactly the same as they had since he was a young boy, trimmed the same shape and still the same green as the ivy that crawled up the outer walls of the building. The trees that swayed in the breeze and shed flowers all around the perimeter of the property were a bit taller and older, but it was hardly noticeable.

The emergency brake cranked as Charles pulled it up and leant over the steering wheel to look up at the front of the mansion in a resolute silence. It had been years since Charles had been inside, and he felt somewhat out of place sitting there. He was a different person than the last Charles Xavier that had last walked out the front door, and he had to admit it was a strange feeling to know that.

Opening the car door, he found himself nervous as he wandered slowly up the gravel driveway and stone steps. What was it about this place that made him feel so frightened? Charles hesitated momentarily when he lifted a hand to open the door, but it felt as though he were releasing a breath he had been holding a long time as the old key slid into the lock and he swung the door open. The sound of the hinges creaking echoed through the empty hallways, as did the sound of the door shutting behind him as he tucked his keys into his pocket.

A sense of belonging began to sweep over him, and Charles found himself smiling from all of the memories rushing back to him as he stepped further into the entryway. The house was clean, little to no dust, which meant that the housekeeper still came by at least every once in a while. It warmed his heart that the old vacant house had not been completely forgotten.

The stairs creaked as he ascended and turned right, finding his way to a door whose handle had been worn with use over the years. It opened with a cool breeze to reveal the library that Charles had missed so desperately. He released a deep sigh as he looked around with hands in his pockets, admiring all of the bookshelves with a faint smile upon his lips. Approaching a nearby shelf, his fingers ran reminiscently across the spines of the books there. Memories of all of the adventures he'd lived through these books began to come back to him, as well as of the times that he had spent in the library. One memory in particular drew his eyes to the spot on the floor before the fireplace.

His eyes became distant as he recalled the light of the flickering fire across Erik's smile in the dark, the warmth from the fireplace that fought the cold of the winter chill as they lay together on the floor, the beat of Erik's heart in his chest that Charles had fallen asleep listening to. Charles had to set a hand against his own chest now to keep it from aching as his eyes squeezed shut. How he wished he could go back to those days when everything was so simple and he hadn't yet made such a mess of his life. A soft sigh escaped his lips as Charles turned and slipped back through the door he'd come through, shutting it quietly behind himself.

Charles slowly began to make his way across the landing atop the stairs and set a hand upon another familiar handle where he came to a stop. This door was not so eagerly opened. Instead, hesitation froze him momentarily before he finally began to turn the handle and pushed it open.

The hinges creaked as it swung to bump against the wall, and the room inside opened itself up to him. There was a weight that settled upon his shoulders as he crossed the threshold into his old bedroom, and it felt so heavy that Charles wandered forward to the bed and flopped upon it, his fingers curling into the familiar material of the old comforter that he buried his face into.

His eyes closed as more memories came flooding back to him of this room: staying up late reading in bed, falling asleep on the floor with Lucky the first night he brought the puppy home, pulling all-nighters with Raven as they spoke about their futures during high school, but the one that he remembered most vividly was his night of passion with Erik. The heated touch, the taste of his kiss, the pleasure that had filled him... It was all still there, as if it had happened only yesterday.

His eyes opened to look at the spot of carpet in front of the electronic fireplace where this memory had taken place, but Charles turned away. He didn't come here to reminisce. He came here for something else.

The bed creaked as he pushed himself up, and as he wandered to the patio doors, Charles felt his throat begin to tighten. Opening these door was an entirely different experience than the others. Pink and white flower petals danced across the lawn in the breeze as his eyes settled on the familiar gravestones across the yard, and Charles' eyes began to well up with tears. He'd missed this place. He'd missed his parents. Even if no one was really listening, he'd missed the comfort that came from talking to them.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped out onto the patio and descended the stairs to the pathway leading down to a small courtyard. The cool air kissed his cheeks as he went, but thankfully the bright sun fought the chill and kept him warm. Charles felt as though he couldn't get there fast enough, but he tried to keep a slow and steady pace as he walked forward with trembling knees.

Brushing some petals away from the stone bench, Charles took a seat in front of the headstones and leaned forward with elbows on his knees. His fingers laced together as he sniffled, eyes casting downward at the place that the ring had left an imprint on his finger. He rubbed at it eagerly, as if it would help the impression to go away.

The silence was heavy on him, despite the sound of the leaves all around him whispering in the wind. He didn't know what to say. Should he apologize? Should he just start talking? It'd been much too long since he'd been there to say anything at all. Charles swallowed hard as he wiped a stray tear away. “Hi, Mum. Dad.” A trembling breath was released as he rubbed his hands together, but Charles couldn't stop himself from breaking down in tears. “I'm sorry... I'm sorry it's been so long. I should have come sooner.” Sniffling, he wiped the trail away that tears had left on his cheeks and pushed himself off the bench to lay on his back between the headstones. “So many things've happened... It's difficult choosing where to begin.”

So he lay there for a while instead, listening to the trees rustle in the breeze with his eyes closed as his hair drifted in the wind as well. Charles liked to imagine the sound was them talking back to him whenever he came to them for comfort. He sighed softly and, after a moment of silence, began to tell the sad tale of the disaster he'd made, of everything that had happened with Erik... with Logan.

Charles never realized how stressed he'd become without anyone to talk to. He could feel the tightness in his muscles as he spoke, and tried to consciously relax them. He'd been holding all of his frustrations and his anger and his sadness in, and getting these things off his chest was a much-needed relief.

The sound of an engine chugging up the driveway drew his attention, and Charles sat up with a hand shielding his eyes from the sun that peaked through the leaves. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip upon seeing the old Blazer that parked in front of the house. Hank climbed out of the front seat and opened the back door to let Lucky jump down from the back, who ran around in circles with excitement.

Charles wiped his eyes as he whistled, causing Lucky's ears to perk, and the dog took off across the yard towards him. He laughed softly and held his arms out for Lucky, who skidded to a stop before him, licking him and leaping onto him in excitement. “Argh—! Lucky!” Laughing, he pushed the dog away gently as Hank came down the hill of grass with a wave. Charles waved back and instructed Lucky to sit beside him. The old dog obeyed happily and lay down beside him on his back, allowing Charles to rub his tummy.

“Hey,” Hank greeted as he drew closer with a small wave. “Raven said you might be here.”

“She knows me well...” Charles smiled as he patted Lucky.

Hank's eyes drifted to the headstones beside his friend. “I hope I didn't disturb you.” He sat with uncertainty upon the stone bench nearby.

Charles offered a faint smile and shook his head. “Of course not. I was just doing a bit of story-telling.” He continued petting Lucky as his eyes became distant, lost in his thoughts momentarily. The pup stood soon and began wandering away across the grass with his nose buried in it.

Hank nodded, and his gaze fell to his hands as they sat in silence. Several times he opened his mouth to say something, but only silence followed.

Charles' eyebrows knitted as he sat up, hands resting on his legs. “Hank? What's wrong?”

“I overheard Raven talking with Erik on the phone, and she told me about the argument you had, and... And I came here to tell you something, Charles...”

Surprise hit him hard as Charles' face fell. “What is it?”

Hank struggled with his words as he spun the wedding ring upon his finger. “I...” The difficulty of putting his thoughts into words was apparent in his pained expression. “... I was the one who told him.”

“Told him what?” He couldn't be talking about what Charles thought he was.

Hank swallowed hard, meeting Charles' eyes only for a second over the brim of his glasses before his gaze fell back down to the ring he fidgeted with. “I didn't mean to tell him, Charles. I'm sorry.”

Charles leaned forward, his thoughts racing as he stared at his friend. “What did you tell him?”

“I was there.” Hank was nearly whispering now. If the wind hadn't calmed, Charles wouldn't have been able to hear him. “I was at the clinic that day...”

Dread spread through him from his core as he stared at Hank. “You mean...?”

He sniffled as he wiped away a stray tear. “Please don't tell Raven,” Hank begged with a cracked voice as he finally looked up at Charles.

“Oh, Hank...” Charles pushed himself up from the grass to join his friend on the bench, and he wrapped his arms tightly around him. He could feel the omega trembling in his arms as Hank tried to withhold his tears.

“I wasn't ready either, Charles,” he squeaked through his tears. “I'm sorry. I knew I should have said something to someone back then but I never wanted Raven to know, and when Erik came over the other day when she wasn't home, we started talking about high school and I mentioned the baby, and I didn't realize you never told him and...” He choked back a sob, wiping tears with the back of his hand. “I thought he knew! I'm so sorry!”

Charles' throat tightened as he hugged his friend tightly, fingers clutching into the back of his jacket. There were so many emotions passing through him one after another that Charles wasn't sure how to feel about it. He was angry and upset and distraught, but he could never harbor hatred towards Hank. Almost their whole lives they'd known each other, and in the entire time that Charles knew him, Hank had never done a single thing to hurt another person intentionally. This was no exception. He could never be angry at Hank, even for this. “It's okay,” he whispered. “Hank, listen to me—it's fine. He needed to know eventually...”

But the realization dawned on him that Hank had carried this burden alone all this time. He'd never told a soul about it until today, and Charles couldn't imagine the guilt and self-hatred he'd gone through on his own. Over the years, Charles had had Raven to talk to when he was feeling guilty about his decision, but Hank had no one, and Charles wished he could've been there for his friend all this time. But his thoughts turned towards Raven, and Charles pulled away slightly. “I had no idea you were pregnant back then,” he whispered.

“Nobody did, not even me,” Hank replied as he sniffled, wiping more tears away. “But when Raven commented about how my scent was different, I took a test and-and I—” His voice cracked, and he paused as his lip trembled. “I wasn't ready... I wasn't—We were just kids, Charles.” He sounded desperate for understanding as he met Charles' gaze. “Kids of our own were not an option at that point in our lives.”

“I know,” Charles replied, a ghost of a smile touching his lips. “I know, Hank. You don't have to justify yourself—especially not to me, of all people.”

Hank offered a pained smile as his reddened eyes met Charles', and he threw his arms around Charles in a tight embrace.

Charles had missed Hank dearly. He felt like they'd grown apart over the years but at that moment as they sat together on the stone bench, it felt just like old times again. “You should go see him,” Hank encouraged as he straightened.

Charles cast a glance over his shoulder at the car sitting beside the Blazer, thoughts scattered and uncertain as he turned away from it once more with distant eyes. “I don't think he wants to see me right now.”

“He loves you, Charles,” Hank assured him, squeezing Charles' hand in comfort. “You can just see it in his eyes when he talks about you. He loves you so much.”

There was a pang in his chest as Hank spoke, and Charles' eyes welled with tears as he tried to keep his lip from trembling. “I know,” he replied as his heart swelled in his chest. “I know he does...”

A faint smile appeared upon Hank's lips. “I'll watch Lucky.”

Charles returned the smile, but he was dreading seeing Erik again. He'd been so emotional and selfish when they'd last seen each other. He had to make things right, but Charles wasn't going to lie: the thought of facing Erik again scared him. He pushed himself up from the bench and started towards his car, fidgeting with his keys as his own thoughts tried to calm him. “Thank you, Hank,” he called as he opened the door. _For everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter sat half-finished in my Word document for almost a year, and I'm a terrible person for making all of you wait so long for it. I don't know if I'm completely satisfied with how it turned out but--oh well. I hope you enjoyed it.


	18. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another talk between Charles and Erik with an unexpected ending.

The sun was beginning to set by the time Charles found a parking space by the familiar apartment building and killed the engine of his car. But instead of exiting the vehicle immediately, he sat a while inside with his mind running wild, finishing off the cup of coffee that sat beside him in the cup holder. It was cold now, having cooled on the drive around the lake he'd taken to ease his mind. His eyes lingered on the entryway of the building a moment as he leaned against the inside of the car door, fingers absent-mindedly resting against his cheek and lips. A moment later, his gaze shifted to the cell phone sitting in the middle console beside him. After much contemplation, he finally decided to pick it up and send a message.

_Are you busy? x_

A sigh slipped from his lips as his eyes closed tightly for a moment.

So much had happened in just the span of a few days. Charles felt as if his life had been turned upside down, and he wasn't sure which way was up and which way was down. Charles had always had a great ability to give advice to others, to guide them through their hardships and help them better themselves and move on. But when it came to his own trials in life, he was at a loss of what to do. He was so embarrassed by the way he'd been acting. Why was he so emotional lately? His mind felt foggy and addled, and Charles hated not being able to think straight. But he at least owed Erik an apology for his antics that morning. That was a step in the right direction.

His phone rang with a notification not a moment later.

_I'm never too busy for you. Come back? EL_

A faint smile graced his features as he looked down at the words, reading them in Erik's voice inside his head. It calmed him and caused his heart to race all at once as he held the phone to his chest with eyes falling closed. He needed to think of Erik now. For years he'd felt betrayed by his soul mate despite suspecting the truth—that Erik had been used by Shaw—but a fresh wound had been opened in Erik's heart much too recently for Charles to make this situation about himself. Charles had had time to deal with his grief and pain; Erik hadn't the same luxury.

Charles was finally able to encourage himself enough to climb out of his car and, with a glance around the vacant, quiet street, he made his way inside the building. Despite the many apartment doors inside, there was hardly any noise coming from within them. He glanced around after reaching the third floor, trying to remember the correct number until he felt confident enough he'd chosen the right one. His knock didn't reflect such confidence, instead sounding timid and light.

He waited a moment, afraid that his knock might not've been heard until he thought he heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching. The door swung open, and there Erik stood, handsome as ever as the strong scent of alpha swept into the hallway. His black shirt had the sleeves rolled up, which meant he'd been busy. Charles nearly swooned at the smell and the sight of him. “Charles,” Erik greeted in surprise. Charles found himself more breathless than usual from the smell and wanted to fall into his arms immediately. "I didn't expect you so soon." And that's exactly what he did.

His arms wrapped around Erik's neck in a firm embrace, returned in kind by Erik's strong arms that held Charles close to his chest. Their noses were nestled comfortably into the scent glands on their necks as they inhaled each others' scents. It was almost euphoric as their bond rekindled once more, blazing like a fire set alight. To touch him and smell him so closely caused Charles' heart to flutter, and tears came to his eyes as the guilt and shame of his actions began to take hold of him again. “I'm sorry,” he whispered as he pulled away, a tear streaking down his face. “I'm so sorry, Erik...” This wasn't going according to plan... Already he was emotional and near a blubbering mess. _Get yourself together, Charles._

Erik's thumb wiped away the tear quickly. “Come inside.” His eyes were warm as he extended the invitation, guiding Charles through the doorway.

Charles obeyed quickly, and Erik swung the door shut behind them. As he sniffled, Charles looked around the apartment with surprise. It looked drastically different already from when he'd been there a few hours earlier. There were boxes littered around each of the rooms, half-filled with things from around the house. Most of the décor was already packed up and sitting in boxes beside the front window, leaving books and practical things like dishes to be packed away yet. He'd been busy packing most of the day. No doubt it helped distract him from their argument that morning...

“I... I ended things,” Charles began as he wiped the trail the tear had left behind on his cheek. “With Logan, I mean.”

Erik gave a nod of understanding as he moved in the direction of the kitchen, his response delayed. “Really... And how did he take it?” he asked as he retrieved a glass and began to run the tap with cold water.

“It was hard to tell,” Charles admitted, his eyebrows pulling together as his gaze became distant. “I don't know, if I'll be honest. He wasn't angry, as I'd expected, but he was acting... well, odd.”

Erik looked contemplative of his words as he listened but said nothing of it as he gazed at the running water. “Are you thirsty?” he asked as he filled the glass with water and turned off the sink. “Water? _Tequila,_ maybe?”

Charles shook his head with a faint laugh as he removed his jacket, unsure if Erik had expected him to stay long. “No, thank you. I'm not really a fan anymore. I tend to make poor decisions when I drink.”

Erik chuckled with a sarcastic wiggle of his eyebrows as he took a drink from his own glass of water. “I thought you might have acquired the taste,” he teased as he set it down and moved into the living room. Erik picked up a small remote from atop the mantle, and with a push of a button, the fireplace ignited and began to heat the somewhat chilly room. He unsurely beckoned with his fingers, and Charles found himself obliging quickly. Had the fireplace worked so quickly? He was already suddenly feeling quite warm.

Erik took a seat on the couch, and Charles found himself nestling in beside him as they sat in silence, looking at the fireplace before them as memories of a similar time came back to Charles. The wood inside was artificial, but the fire that blazed within wasn't. It would have been enjoyable had he not felt so warm already.

Despite the slight discomfort he felt from the temperature, Charles released a contented sigh as his eyes fell shut, and he breathed in the smell of the alpha beside him leisurely. He missed this. He missed Erik's arms around him and listening to his heart as it beat within his chest. It was true they'd known each other only a short time all those years ago, but in that time, Charles felt as though they'd come to know each other over the span of a lifetime. Even after being away from each other for so long, sitting there with Erik still felt like home. Was he really the same Erik he'd known all those years ago?

“I've missed you,” Charles whispered softly.

Erik was silent for a moment, his eyes turning from the fireplace to the omega beside him. “I know,” he replied, brushing some strands of hair from Charles' forehead like he used to. It brought a smile to Charles' face as he turned to meet Erik's gaze. The smile faded quickly from his expression though, and he turned back to look into the fire. There was only silence as they sat together for a while, just holding each other. “Charles, there's something I should tell you.”

The feeling of dread was not his own that ran through Charles as Erik spoke, and Charles knew that it wouldn't be something good. He sat up from the comfort of Erik's embrace, nervousness twisting his stomach. “What is it?”

Erik was looking into the fire, contemplating his next words carefully as his hand slipped down Charles' back, landing on the couch beside him. He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated momentarily. “I haven't been alone all this time either,” he admitted.

Charles had to admit that Erik's words stunned him, and he was sure that it was apparent in his expression. For some reason, he'd just assumed. Azazel had said one could tell one your soulbond was being unfaithful to you with another. Was it true for everyone? A pang of hurt hit him, but Charles chastised himself for it. Really, was he so naive and stupid to think that Erik would have waited around for him all this time? Surely he would have tried to find his own happiness with someone else. It was only natural to seek the company of someone, and it's not as if he had any room to complain after being with Logan for the past year or so.

Despite his thoughts trying to level themselves out in his mind, his only response as his eyes became distant was “... Oh.” His gaze lifted to Erik, and he found the alpha looking at him with curious eyes. “Were you happy?” Charles wasn't entirely sure why that was the first question that came to mind. Would he have been hurt if Erik had been happy with someone else? Relieved? He wasn't sure, but he couldn't help the feeling of tears forming in his eyes as the sadness began to weigh on him. Quickly, he tried to blink them away. Why was he being so utterly emotional? He had no right to feel this way.

A sad smile pulled at Erik's lips. He knew of Charles' feelings on the matter, made apparent in the way he reached out to touch his hand in a show of comfort. “I'm not sure,” Erik replied quietly, his eyes lost in the dance of the fire. “It wasn't a constant commitment. We saw each other whenever we had the time, but I have a feeling that I was never quite enough to fulfill her needs of a relationship. It was difficult for her, knowing that there was no bond between us and there never would be.”

Charles looked away as well, pondering his words. “Who was she?” The question was wondered aloud. He wasn't sure whether it would have been better or worse if it was someone he knew.

“Her name was Emma,” he replied, his eyes shifting sideways in Charles' direction to watch for a reaction. “An acquaintance I met through Shaw.”

 _Emma._ Why did that name sound so familiar? Charles' eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall but to no avail.

“We haven't spoken in some time though. I ended things for the last time when I knew I'd be returning to Germany, but that was almost half a year ago.”

“What do you mean, 'for the last time'?” Charles turned to look at him, confused.

Erik gave a laugh, though it had a hint of bitterness to it. “We were 'on and off'. She wanted to be with me desperately but was terribly jealous of you. She never knew who you were but she knew that I was soulbonded to another, and whenever she became too possessive, things between us became rather difficult and we'd end it for a while.”

Charles felt rather flattered. Another omega, jealous of him? He wasn't sure that had ever happened before. Quickly, though, he tried to smother his pride. He shouldn't be letting his nature guide his thoughts for him and instead tried to think of the poor girl and how painful that might've been for her. His thoughts wandered to Logan, and he wondered if that's how Logan would have acted had he known about the soulbond between Charles and Erik, or if they'd even tried to start a relationship in the first place. It certainly would have saved them a lot of heartache if they hadn't...

Charles' eyes were lingering upon Erik's neck, and he leaned towards Erik before even realizing what he was doing. “I'm sorry.” Charles' voice was small and quiet as he nestled into the crook of Erik's neck, inhaling his strong scent from the gland there. The smell caused a wave of goosebumps across his skin, and a chill ran down his spine. Erik gave a low growl of approval as his fingers gripped Charles' shirt tightly from behind, his arm pulling Charles closer against him as his eyes fell closed. He was meant to be comforting Erik. This shouldn't have been how. Charles snapped out of it quickly, pulling away from their intimate embrace and feeling rather embarrassed about it. “I'm sorry,” he repeated, this time apologizing for his own actions as heat rose from his cheeks.

Erik had a quiet smirk on his lips that turned Charles into a young school boy again, giddiness rising up inside of him. His eyes were piercing and seductive, but Charles turned away despite wanting desperately to let the night go between them wherever it might. He had to maintain control. They weren't teenagers anymore and still had much to discuss between themselves.

“Come to Germany with me.”

For the second time that evening, Erik had caught him completely off guard. “Germany?” he repeated, sitting back slightly at the surprise. That's right. Charles had forgotten entirely, despite his mention of it just a moment ago and the boxes piled around them, that Erik intended to return to Germany to be with his mother. A panic began to build up inside him.

“We'll start over,” he promised, taking Charles' hands in his own.

His heart was pounding in his chest. “I...” Why did Charles feel so hot? God, his cheeks were burning as he stared at Erik's lips.

“And should you find that I'm not to your liking anymore”—Erik's gaze drifted down to Charles' fingers that he cradled—“I won't stop you from returning.”

Charles swallowed thickly. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to do anything to please Erik at that moment, but he didn't say anything. Charles knew his nature as an omega was affecting his thoughts at the moment, moreso than usual, and it was natural to want to submit to any request that one's alpha made of you. However, Logan had a hell of a time convincing Charles to move from the mansion and into an apartment in the same city with him. But Germany? Charles didn't know. Sure, he'd been at Oxford for 6 years, but that was with the notion in his mind that he was going to return home. His thoughts turned to his parents' graves in the garden, and he looked away in thought. Could he really move away from all of it?

His phone began to ring, and Charles fumbled to quickly pull it out of his pocket. _ANGEL_ read the screen but he silenced its ring with one of the side buttons, nervousness tugging at his stomach. He would call her back later.

There was a gentle touch of fingers to his chin turning him to face Erik, and Charles found himself lost in his eyes once more. “Charles. Please.” Combined with his alpha's scent that was completely overwhelming him, he found himself forgetting what they were talking about as Erik began to lean in towards him. His heart hammered in his chest, breath quickening simultaneously.

The sensation of Erik's lips upon his own caused a fire to light within him, despite the kiss being soft and gentle, as if testing the waters between them. Erik pulled away to examine his features but Charles grabbed him eagerly by the neck and kissed Erik again with fervor. He needed him so badly; it almost hurt to think of being without him at that moment. It didn't take long at all for the kiss to become heated as Charles' fingers combed through his hair, and Erik's hands slipped beneath the hem of Charles' shirt, feeling the soft skin of his waist as he lay Charles down onto the couch. Erik worked his way between Charles' legs and broke away from the kiss to inhale at the scent gland on Charles' neck. Charles whimpered but breathed out a soft moan as he found himself becoming even more aroused by Erik's touch.

While all of this happened, he suddenly found himself vaguely aware of his phone ringing again on the floor. Erik pulled away, breathless as they both turned to look at it. “Are you going to get that?” he whispered, placing kisses against Charles' neck.

Charles was moaning, arching his back to press himself against Erik. “I—ahh!” A quick nip from Erik caused him to cry out, and Charles laughed softly at himself out of embarrassment. “I probably should... She's called twice.”

He lifted his chin to kiss Erik again as his fingers fell to search blindly for the phone. He pulled away, trying to hide his labored breath as he answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Charles!” It was Angel, but there was so much background noise he could barely tell. Her voice was high and panicked, and she sounded as though she'd been crying as she sniffled. “Charles, you have to come quickly, please.”

“What? What happened?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing in concern as he propped himself up onto an elbow, Erik leaning back as he did so. “Are you alright?”

The sound of a siren blared in the background, growing distant as she choked back a sob. Charles could hear Azazel yelling in the background. “It's... it's Logan.”

Erik heard the name over the phone and growled lowly in his throat, but Charles' reaction was much different. Fear struck him in the chest as his eyes widened. “What is it, Angel? What's happened to him?”

“He—” She choked up momentarily, unable to speak. “He tried to kill himself.”

The shock took hold of him immediately as he sat up. Charles' eyes widened with tears as a hand lifted to cover his mouth. “Oh my god.”

“He's in an ambulance on his way to the hospital but he's lost a lot of blood.” Her voice cracked, and she paused a moment to cry. Azazel was beside her now, trying to comfort her in the background of the call.

“It's okay! It's going to be okay, Angel.” Charles' attempt to comfort her was meek from his own strength weakening. "I'll be there soon.”

“Please hurry, Charles.” It was the last thing she asked in her broken voice before the call ended.

Charles pushed himself up off the couch. Erik was clearly concerned as Charles picked up his jacket and began to slip it on. “This is all my fault,” he whispered as he straightened the collar, the guilt quickly beginning to tear him up as he grabbed his car keys from his pocket.

Erik followed him to the front door, eager to know where he was needed. “What is?”

Charles' chin was quivering, and he hesitated answering out of fear he might burst into tears. “Logan tried to commit suicide.”

A look of understanding overcame Erik's expression immediately, and his hand fell to take hold of Charles'. He held a heavy distaste for Logan, Charles knew that, but he didn't look nearly as irritable as he did when he heard Angel had mentioned him over the phone. “Go,” Erik whispered. “We'll talk later. Your friends need you.”

Charles squeezed his hand, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “I'll see you soon.”

 


	19. Life To Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles finds himself in some big trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! Only the first half of the chapter uploaded the first time. Sorry!

The emergency parking lot was nearly empty that night, which left plenty of spaces to park near the door. Charles' car jerked to a stop as he put it in park and while trying to exit the car, he'd forgotten to unbuckle the seat belt which caught him across his chest with a grunt. Charles let out a frustrated groan as he unbuckled it quickly, shut his door and hurried in through the automatic doors with his heart racing in his chest.

The first person he saw was Raven, and the blood drained from his face as his eyes fell upon her. She had dried blood matted in her hair and on her clothes and hands, and the look on her face could only be described as shock. Normally rosy cheeks were pale, her lips were almost void of any warm hue, and she looked as though she'd just run a mile with the sweat glistening on her forehead. While she discussed something with the police officer beside her robotically, Raven's eyes appeared vacant as she tightened the blanket around herself with white knuckles. She hadn't even noticed him come in.

Charles thought better than to interrupt them, despite his concern for her shaken state, but his eyes searched the waiting room to find Angel and Azazel sitting together as they waited nervously. “Charles!” Angel called, her voice strained and her eyes red. She hurried to him with arms outstretched, and Charles embraced her without hesitation.

“How is he?” Charles asked with eyebrows drawn together in concern, squeezing her tightly.

The scent of alpha hit Charles hard, harder than usual as Azazel's eyes locked onto Charles in an unsettling way, but he was unable to determine what was so troubling about the look. “We don't know.”

Angel wiped some stray tears as she pulled away. “They're prepping Logan for surgery right now but it could take hours before they're done.”

Charles eyed the alpha, suspicious of his behavior as he tried to shake his head of the clouding thoughts, but he turned to look back over his shoulder at Raven who was still speaking to the police officer. They had moved to a couple of chairs now as they continued to talk. “Is Raven the one who found him?”

“Yes,” Angel replied as she returned to her seat in the corner of the waiting room. “She's still in shock. She rode with him in the ambulance.”

Charles nodded in understanding as he followed, sitting beside her. The guilt was beginning to weigh heavily him now as the gravity of the situation began to set in. This was all his fault. All the tears shed, all the pain that was being felt—Charles did this, and it was searing a hole into his insides the more he thought about it.

It was silent for a moment, which allowed his thoughts to shift momentarily. Azazel's scent was almost overpowering, despite him standing several feet away. Had he begun using some sort of new cologne? It almost burned his nose, but Charles wasn't about to say anything about it. Instead, Charles' small voice asked, “What happened?”

Angel sniffled once more, rubbing her red eyes. “Raven and I went out to dinner, and she wanted to pick up some of Lucky's stuff like toys and food from Logan's place on the way home, and when we went up to the door, we could smell the blood and-and—” Her voice cracked before she could finish, and Angel burst into tears again. “Charles, there was so much blood, it was awful!”

Azazel sighed, leaning against the nearby wall with hands in his pockets. “Looks like the idiot cut his wrists.”

The more he learned, the worse Charles felt, the feeling of guilt intensifying in his gut. Tears stung his eyes as he put an arm around Angel, trying to comfort her with a tight hug. “It's alright,” Charles uttered, though the tone of his voice instilled little confidence. “He'll be alright. He's in good hands now. All we can do now is wait.” Charles' gaze lifted again to meet Azazel's, and the alpha had that funny look on his face again. He tilted his head, and Azazel looked away quickly.

It took some time for the police officer to finish interrogating Raven and record her statement, but she looked much better after her discussion with him as he escorted her back to her friends. The color had returned to her face and lips by then, improving her appearance from her sickly look earlier. Her scent, as well as the officers, was even stronger than Azazel's, and Charles couldn't help taking in a deep breath through his nose as they approached. The strength of all three alpha scents was beginning to make his head hurt.

“Hi folks, my name is Officer Rogers. I wanted you all to know that your friend Raven is recovering from shock and is going to need your help for the next couple of hours to remain nice and calm. She says you're friends with her husband?” Charles looked around to see all of them nodding in response silently as Angel squeezed Raven against her. “Alright, is anyone able to contact him?”

“I did,” Angel replied quickly in a meek tone.

“And he's aware of what happened?” She nodded, and the officer's lips pursed. “Alright, I want you to keep a close eye on her. And Raven, remember: if you start feeling nauseated or dizzy, I want you to lie down with your feet elevated, okay?” His hand was set upon Raven's shoulder, who nodded slowly as she glanced up at him. “You have my card, so go ahead and call if you need me. If I'm not available, my partner Officer Barnes there can help you.” He gestured to the other officer with dark hair standing by the exit who waved awkwardly. Despite his professional demeanor, Officer Rogers looked genuinely concerned for not only Raven but all of those who sat with her. “I'm very sorry about your friend, folks. I hope everything turns out okay.”

Raven cracked a tiny smile. “Thanks, Steve.”

“You're very welcome,” he replied with the smile returned, and his eyes made a sweep across everyone's faces sitting around her. His eyes landed on Charles, and for only a split second, he had the same funny look Azazel had earlier. Charles found himself puzzled. “You folks have a good night.” With an assuring pat to Raven's shoulder, Officer Rogers met his partner at the door, and they disappeared into the darkened parking lot in search of their cruiser.

Charles was unsettled by the similarities of the expression that Officer Rogers and Azazel had shared, but he said nothing of it as he turned to Raven. “How are you feeling?”

“I'll be okay.” She leaned against him as she yawned, rubbing her tired eyes. “I just need to rest. Mm, you smell good... Did you get a new cologne scent?”

Charles shook his head with a bashful smile. “No.” His stomach rumbled, and Charles set a hand against his abdomen. “Ooh... I don't feel good.”

“It'll be a while before we know anything. Do you wanna head home for a little bit and get some rest?” Angel asked, rubbing his back.

“No,” Charles answered shortly, cringing inwardly at his tone which he decided to soften as he continued. “No... I want to stay. I want to be here when they're done.” Angel nodded in understanding, her hand continuing to rub his back.

“Excuse me, are you all here for James Howlett?”

The four of them turned to a nurse standing a few feet away, looking at them expectant for answers.

“Who?” Angel asked in confusion.

“No, sorry,” Raven replied, shaking her head. “Wrong person.”

“Yes,” Charles answered quickly. “Yes, he's our friend. Any news on him?”

Angel and Raven turned to look at him, confused, but they said nothing as the nurse came closer with more confidence. “Hi, I'm Christine. He's been put under for surgery, and they're about to begin. I was wondering if you might want to move to the waiting area closer to where he'll be roomed.”

“That would be great.” It was Azazel this time who answered for all of them, and the four friends silently gathered their things and walked along the eerily quiet halls of the hospital. The only sounds they heard were the hushed conversations of doctors and nurses, and the occasional beep of a machine from rooms as they passed—and a few snores here and there.

Charles found himself unable to wait any longer, so he sped up somewhat to fall into stride beside the nurse. “Excuse me... Christine, was it? Do you know how long it will be until the surgery is done?”

“Well,” the nurse started as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, “I can't really give you a definite time. It depends entirely on the severity of his wounds, but I want you to know that Dr. Strange will do everything he can to save him. He's the best surgeon in the region.”

Charles had to admit, hearing this put his mind at ease, but part of him wondered if she only praised the doctor that way to calm their worries. “Thank you,” he replied, and Christine nodded in response. A passing doctor stared with no shame at Charles as they passed each other in the hall, his alpha scent nearly making Charles nauseated. He really wasn't feeling well... What was the matter with him?

“Logan's name is James?” Angel asked quietly.

Charles laughed softly, a melancholy smile spreading across his face. “He doesn't like James, so he goes by Logan.”

“Oh,” she responded, her eyebrows lifting. “I never knew that.”

Raven stared at the floor in thought as Angel turned to look at Azazel, and as she opened her mouth to speak, he quickly answered, “Yes. I knew.”

She shook her head with a roll of her eyes, and Charles chuckled.

The waiting room they arrived in was quieter, but only because it was much smaller. There was room, at least, for all of them to sit closer together as they waited. The clock ticked agonizingly slow, and as time passed, Raven fell asleep in Angel's lap while the omega played with her hair absent-mindedly. Azazel stepped out to have a cigarette and ended up running to the store for something Angel had asked him for. Charles, however, was hardly tired at all. He paced slowly around the waiting room, putting distance between him and Raven. He wasn't sure why her scent was bothering him so much, and whenever he tried to sit, he felt the need to squirm. His thoughts bounced back and forth like a tennis ball between Logan and Erik, as if they were racing uncontrollably. His stomach growled again, this time enough to warrant a small groan of pain.

Angel gave him a concerned look, but Charles gave a wave of his hand. “I'm fine,” he lied with a faint smile. “I think I'm just hungry.” He wasn't, though. He had no appetite, but then again, it could be the stress of the situation making him feel like he was going to vomit.

The doors opened finally, and a doctor with sleek black hair stepped out in some scrubs. “Visitors for Howlett?” he asked aloud, dark eyes traveling over them as Christine, the nurse from before, appeared beside him.

“Yes,” Charles replied quickly as Angel shook Raven awake. Good lord, his scent was almost too strong for Charles to handle.

“I'm Doctor Strange, the surgeon who performed the surgery for your friend James.”

“Is he alright?” The question escaped Charles' lips breathlessly before the doctor had a chance to say anything else.

Strange's mouth had opened already to speak, but he paused and instead answered Charles' question. “Yes. He managed to miss both the radial and ulnar arteries on his left arm despite the length of the laceration, but he did lose quite a few liters of blood.”

Angel and Raven both hugged each other tightly as it seemed there was a simultaneous sigh of relief in the room.

“It's a miracle he's still alive, considering how much alcohol was in his system. If he hadn't been found when he did, I don't think he would have survived because, honestly, the bleed-out time for such an injury is usually very quick—”

Charles' eyes filled with tears as he became distraught once more at the thought of Logan's possible death, and Christine tried to elbow Strange subtly. The doctor cleared his throat upon realizing that his explanation might have only caused more worry and changed his tune.

“The, uhh, surgery was successful though, and James is in a stable condition. He'll be moved to his room in the next half hour, so you'll have a chance to see him very soon. Please keep in mind, he is on suicide watch, so you won't be able to give him any gifts or personal belongings without them being checked by the staff. He might be a little loopy since anesthesia does have a tendency to do that to people.”

“Thank you,” Angel replied, looking the happiest she had all night despite the renewed stream of tears from the corners of her eyes. Charles was relieved beyond words to hear that Logan had survived, joining in on the hug. “Thank you so much for saving him.”

“Christine will help you find his room.”

“Thank you,” Charles repeated, wiping a tear away that had streaked down his cheek. The doctor looked at him funny as well, staring a moment before he gave a wave of acknowledgment and disappeared through the doors he'd come from.

“Follow me—we're headed down the hall and to the left.”

Again, belongings were collected and the three of them migrated together behind Christine and finally into a room that was meant to be Logan's. “It won't take very long for him to come from surgery, but you heard Doctor Strange: sometimes anesthesia makes people act kind of funny.”

A soft chuckle slipped past Charles' lips as Raven and Angel crossed the room to sit down upon the seat against the wall. “Thank you, Christine.”

The blonde nurse nodded her head. “Just push the 'call nurse' button on his bed to let me now if you need anything, okay? I'll be right out here at the reception desk.”

“I'm gonna call 'Zel and let him know,” Angel said in a quiet voice. “I'll be right back.”

Charles nodded, nestling in beside Raven as they waited together in silence. He couldn't lie—Raven's scent was worsening the headache that throbbed in his temples. Why did he feel like absolute garbage? Was the stress making him sick?

Raven seemed to be doing much better now, acting like her old self without that distant look in her eyes that haunted her when Charles arrived at the hospital. Azazel returned with his mate at his heels, and he leaned against the wall with his arms around Angel as they waited in silence. He was holding a plastic bag as they began scenting each other, and watching them do so made Charles miss Erik terribly. That painful ache that seemed to radiate from within his bones came and went, and it was intense enough now that he almost excused himself to go home. But he couldn't, not when they were so close. Charles' needs as an omega could wait. His friends' needs were more important.

Only fifteen minutes had passed since they'd seated themselves in the room by the time Logan was wheeled inside. He was conscious but not very clear-headed as he looked around. His eyes rolled as he realized people were there waiting for him, much like they would've even if he hadn't been drugged, and he turned away to stare at the rail on the side of his bed.

Charles thought his chest might've not felt so constricted when Logan appeared, but he felt antsier than ever now as Logan's scent washed over him. He felt terrible, knowing he was the reason behind this, but he said nothing and hung back a moment to let the others say hello as he tried to fight off his uneasiness.

Christine introduced herself and went through the motions of telling him about his bed remote and the 'call nurse' button, but Logan didn't respond to her at all. He did, however, look rather irritated after being told he was on suicide watch and would be monitored constantly. Christine stressed that he was not to remove or play with his bandages, and she left after announcing she would return to check on him shortly.

“Hi, Logan,” Angel began in a soft voice, moving forward to take his hand in hers. He withdrew quickly with a grunt, but she looked as though she'd expected it as a faint smile spread across her features.

Logan's eyes shifted to Azazel beside her, whose eyebrow raised as he said shamelessly, “You look like shit.”

“Fuck off,” Logan muttered with a growl low in his throat.

Azazel chuckled softly and set the bag upon the tray beside his bed. “Pumpkin chocolate chip. Angel says you like 'em.”

Raven shuffled over to the other side of the bed, and her fingers reached forward to brush some dark locks from his forehead. She didn't say anything as they looked at each other momentarily. He already knew what she was thinking, apparent in the way his gaze shifted away shamefully. “What were you thinking?” she whispered in a voice tinged with sadness.

“I don't know,” Logan muttered, his eyebrows furrowing like they always did. “I was drunk, that's all.”

Raven's eyes rolled faintly, and she gave a sigh. “Don't ever do that to us again.” Angel looked at her with a pleading look but Raven took no notice. “We've been worried sick about you.”

Charles looked on, eager to say something, to apologize or to help Logan feel better, but he couldn't. His mind was so foggy, he could barely think straight, but he was relieved at least that Logan was okay. He wasn't sure if he should say something anyway. Maybe Logan wouldn't notice if he jut slipped away, but he knew that everyone else might.

“Can you just leave me alone?” His voice was sharp, and everyone tensed at his words, but Logan allowed his expression soften as he stared at the bedside rail again. “I just wanna be alone right now... Come back tomorrow.”

Raven reached out to touch his arm and headed to the door. “Good night.” Angel and Azazel followed, waving goodbye, but Charles hung back for a moment, hoping to speak to Logan by himself as everyone walked out of the room. Raven glanced over her shoulder and Charles waved at her. With a nod of understanding, she disappeared down the hall as well.

Logan's eyes traveled to where she'd been looking, and for the first time in a while, Charles saw genuine surprise on his face. “Charles.” His voice was gentle as he stared.

A faint smile spread across Charles' features as he moved closer. “Hi,” he whispered with uncertainty, unsure of what else to say.

Logan inhaled sharply as the omega approached, and his voice suddenly became hard and angry. “What are you doing here?”

Charles was taken aback by his sudden change of attitude. “I-I wanted to see if you were alright... I'm sorry—”

“Get the hell outta here!” Logan shouted as he pushed himself out of the bed, his nostrils flaring. Charles stepped backwards, hurt deeply by Logan's sudden outburst. Was it the anesthesia making him act this way? “You shouldn't be out in public! What the hell are you thinking?!”

Confusion was an understatement as Charles stared at him. “What...?”

“ _You're going into heat!”_

Charles suddenly felt like he'd been hit by a ton of bricks. The nausea, the stomach pain, the funny looks from the alphas all night—now it all made sense.

“GO!” Logan shouted, pointing at the door, and Charles didn't know what else to do but obey as he began to run. His car had never seemed so far away as he made his way down the hallway, passing his friends who called after him in concern. “I'll explain later!” he shouted over his shoulder. Panic was filling him as he tried to remember his way to the parking lot, stopping to read signs only when he was desperate for direction. He was feeling so hot that he wanted to tear his clothes off, and the running didn't help any at all.

Charles' heart was racing as he finally bolted out of the emergency department doors and into the parking lot towards his car. The keys in his pocket were caught momentarily, and he yanked at them in desperation which caused him to drop them. A groan escaped his lips as he bent over to pick them up and finally unlocked his car with shaking hands. His heart pounded against his chest as he locked the doors and started the car, but before he could put the car into gear, Charles was suddenly filled with dread. It was starting...

The first wave of wetness hit him like a truck, and he whimpered loudly as his body involuntarily squirmed. He needed Erik. He needed Erik so bad right now. Charles could barely back the car out of its parking space as he moaned from the ache deep within. It wasn't safe for him to drive in such a condition, but he would be even less safe in such a public place in estrus. A groan sounded through his gritted teeth, and Charles' fingers tightened around the steering wheel as another wave of wetness hit him, more intense this time. “Not now,” he begged desperately to no one in particular as he sped down the road. “Please, not now...” In his desperation to drive to Erik's apartment, however, Charles had not noticed the pair of headlights that followed him along the way...

 

 


End file.
